Naming a child after someone who has died

Lucy also means light? I think

NameSeeker, I'm sorry to hear about your sister. I think it's a lovely idea that you would like to remember her this way.

You have described how Helen was beautiful and full of grace. What about the name Grace or a name meaning beautiful, such as Aoife, which is Irish (pronounced ee-fa).

Maybe you could use the name as a middle name? We chose our son's middle name after the death of my grandfather and when he is older I look forward to telling him the reason behind his name when he is older.

Enjoy your pregnancy!

Mr dd's middle names are my mum's names. She was born a year after mum died. I like to think a middle name has some kind of meaning IYSWIM. ds' middle name is my dh's middle name and also the name of dh's dad.

I'm not sure i'd use them as a first name though, but that might be because of the actual names i've used rather than the thought of using them as first names. I do like the suggestion of using a name related to the original name though

My SIL gave her DS both her deceased father's names (first and middle) in that order.

Never thought it was unusual really.

I have a friend who's DH died very sadly while she was pregant with their DS1. She named DS1 the same name as DH, but it's abbreviated differently. I think that once a child is there with their own personality, you don't really associate the names in the same way that you do before the child is born.

Forgot to add best to ask the parents/children of the person who died if they mind

How old was the person that died?
Were you in a close relationship with these people?
Yowey.

My DS1 is named after my brother who died. My dd has the names middle name as my Grandmother who died the week before dd was born

I would say just use it if you like it as a name

I think it's a lovely idea. But, why not keep the actualy name? Helena is a nice name. Nothing wrong with putting it in the middle. Or, perhaps if you don't like Helen, did did she have a middle name you could use?

I don't think it is sad because you are not remembering her death. You are honoring that life that preceded her death.

I might be tempted to go for Helen as a middle name. Its a lovely idea.

As Helen is a Greek name you could have a look at some others. Grace is a nice meaning.

eg The girl's name Charis is pronounced KARE-iss. It is of Greek origin, and its meaning is "grace". The graces were Aglais (brilliance), Thalia (flowering), and Euphrosyne (joy).

You could also look at the myth and chose a character from there so the link is subtle. Alexandra/Cassandra perhaps.

Helen is lovely, but my friend's niece has the greek version, Eleni, which I love.

DH is very against naming after family members, alive or gone. Which is a shame, his mother was Juliette, which I also like. I would love to name a possible son after my brother, who is a great uncle to my girls, and his name is now a little unusual. But his foot is firmly down on this one, although he hasn't ever given a real reason why.

Nameseeker, my ds has my db's name (who was killed in an accident 30 years ago) as his middle name. I had the same dilemma as you, and I asked my parents first if they would mind if I used his name.

I am sorry about your little sister, and Helen is a beautiful name (it was also my granny's name and is dd's middle name too )

Felt there was some expectation thus pressure on me to name ds after my db who died

loved the name, and sentiment - I also had reservations like yrs. However was no brainer with us as married surname meant that it would have been a nursery rhyme character and cockney rhyming slang

VioletElizabethBott i'm really sorry to hear about your mothers passing, i lost my dad last feb and my mum still behaves in some very odd (and out of charactor ways) so i can understand how your feeling.

It is hard choosong names when it is associated with a loss, my dad loved monty pyphon films so i would have loved to use the name monty for a boy (but alas i'm due another girl). xx

Sorry I haven't read everyone's messages in this thread so I may be repeating what someone has suggested ...

How about using the name Lucy, Lucia or Lucinda - as they also mean 'light'.

x

My baby's middle name (if it is a boy) will be after a friend who died too young.

The story is: we had tried to conceive for a long time with no luck. I was dusting this young man's photograph on the mantelpiece one day and was so desperate, I told the photo, 'If you help us get a baby, I promise to name it after you!'. Two weeks later I was up the duff.

I told my husband I was sure my friend wouldn't really mind if we didn't name the baby after him, but he thinks it would be bad luck not to now. Besides, we like the name, and I hope if I have a son, he will grow up to be like his namesake (but with a longer life, please).

Hi - Very sad indeed to hear about your sister. I think it is lovely you want to name your child in some way to commemorate her.

I'm pregnant with my first, a girl, and lost my mother three months ago. I've come under enormous pressure from my father to call my baby after my mother and have hated the idea. I suppose it is tied up with feeling strong-armed, and also with the way my father is behaving generally (everything, but everything has to be linked with my mum - know it is his grief talking but it is so oppressive).

Anyway my solution is to give the baby my mother's middle name (which I like) as her middle name. There's a similar rhythm now to each name - 2 syllables, then the name (Elizabeth) then a 2 syllable surname - which is a strong enough link, but does not make me feel sad. (or cross!)

With Helen (lovely name) you could go for a variant (Helena, Elena, Helene), or even an association (e.g. Helen of Troy - Cassandra? or a Greek origin name?). There are some amazing baby name sites in America which would really help you out I think. My favourite is Nameberry but there's also a good blog called YouCan'tCallItIt with all the links to other sites at the bottom. There's a search engine there where you can type in Helen and it will give you all the names associated with it. Think it is called Baby Name Brain Stormer?

If it is a boy though... hmmm. Think you'll have to go back to the name's meaning and find something through that route. Or try the association thing? (though Paris or Achilles might be a bit rich!)

Best of luck with your pregnancy and with your name search.

My daughter has my sister's name as a middle name - I hope she will be pleased when she's older and I explain about her auntie who died (in a hopefully non-morbid way). I think it is a lovely tribute to my sister, and something which the family appreciates too, I think.

i can see arguments for both first and middle name.
i might be a bit biased cos my middle name is Helen.
i was named after my grandma, Ellen (who was still alive), and all of my sisters are named after relatives in some way, and it is nice now that they're all dead to say why we were given those names.
it's like a long lasting legacy for that person.
it does depend on how you feel when the time comes whether it is too raw to give her Helen as a first name (although if it's a boy, then the worry is lessened already...) or a diminutive like Ellen, or Eleanor. or as a middle name.
I like frasersmummy's nice explanation.

My DS is named after my brother who died when he was 21 and I was 13. He actually has both his first and middle names as the middle name is a family one. I made it "his" name by attaching another name to my brother's name and using a hyphen.

A lot of people didn't like the idea when I was pregnant including my other sister but it was only my mum's approval I wanted. I asked her if she would be ok with it and she said although it would be hard at first she would get used to it and wanted me to do it.

I will tell him I named him after my brother because my brother was loving, sweet, funny, hard-working and ambitious all qualities I wish DS to have.

nameseeker I named my ds after my brother who died but decided to use it as his middle name. That way it wouldnt be as strong as an association or too hard for other people to hear/bear.

oh nameseeker I'm so sorry you have lost your little sister

I know completly understand your dilemma.. like I say in the end I couldnt do it.

You do what is right for you.. best advice I have is to listen to your heart when your dd/ds is born..

I am here if you want to talk this through anytime

good luck with the pregnancy