Naming a child after someone who has died

We gave DS my FiL's name as a middle name. He is called Harry William, and I am forever being asked if I'm a royalist. What's wrong with just happening to like those names. Wish I had gone with something else though.

I gave my DD my mother's name as her middle name. At the time (and even now) it felt very important for me to do this. The only problem came when I had a second DD. Because my DD1's middle name meant so much to me I felt I had to give DD2 a name that was just as meaningful. This was a struggle as DH and I weren't really close to any other female relatives, and the few we were had truely horrific names! In the end I gave her the feminine version of my lovely Grandfather's name (which is luckily a great name) but it was a real dilemma for me as I didn't want one of the girls to feel left out.
I think Helen and all it's variations is lovely.

So sorry for your loss, nameseeker. My dd (and my neice) have my mother's name as a middle name - she died before they were born. I like seeing her name there as a tribute and I hope that it will mean in year to come that dd and dn are prompted to ask more questions and hear stories about the Granny they never met.

So sorry to hear about your sister Nameseeker

I think I would use Helen (or a variation) as a middle name. I gave my DD2 a middle name after my aunt who died very young whilst I was pregnant.

Good luck with your pregnancy

my aunty May died and i took her name for my dd1's middle name.

My DD has my aunt's name as her middle name. My aunt died tragically at a young age when my mum was pregnant with me and I always said if I had a girl I would name her after her.

My sister also has our aunts name as a middle name and she really likes that and I like the thought of it passing down the family.

what a lovely sentiment Tryharder, i will remember that if i ever have a daughter.

My DH is Gambian and there, it's usual to name a DC after someone dead or alive. The DC will then apparently inherit the characteristics and talents of the namesake. Agree with others that is "honours" the deceased person and would make a child feel special. Surely better than naming a child after a TV character...

Helen is a lovely name. Love Helena also.

Hey my middle name is Charis!
(Except we say Ssssh aris as mum read it in a book LOL)
Lovely idea, my dd's middle name is after my cousin who died when she was 2 (I was 12)of cancer, my sisters middle name is my mums best friend from schools name, who was murdered by her dad! Seems it's very common to do this
Horribly sad though, all this young tragic death.

nameseeker, i hope you see this post from me and write back to me. i have thought about exactly this scenario as my older sister died when i was 17. i have wondered a lot about using her name. i want to but then i feel strange about it. my heart goes out to you for your loss as even my lovely sister died in 1993 it feels like yesterday and in fact just writing this makes me well up.i hope you feel good whatever you decide and as i said, i am so sorry. i have the same sad thoughts about the kids she would have had and how we could go through parenting together. in fact i feel her absence so much more keenly now.

I didn't give dd my mother's name - i felt it was too sad, too much pressure somehow, too much baggage - my mum died suddenly and prematurely. But I'm not saying this is the right answer, I'm still trying to get my head round why I felt this way and wondering whether to give my second child the name as a middle name if it's a girl - feels less pressure somehow, but then also feels unfair on first dd. As you can see I find it all a bit confusing and wish i could resolve it in my mind. Go with your gut, I think it's wonderful to commemorate lost love ones in naming children, just for some reason I couldn't do it.

I named my son John Suliac, after my uncle and father, who are both dead. Most names are saints' names anyway, and saints tended to die young and tragically. I don't think it's dark or sad to name a child after someone who is deceased - I think it's nice as their memory lives on in the child. I am proud that my son should bear his grandfather's name.

I used William as one of my DS's names. My DD was called Billie. I didnt want to give him Billy because I felt it would be too much for him to carry IYSWIM but I thought William was a good compromise.

I think its lovely to use a lost loved one's name for a new baby but I think it does need a bit of thought.

Leonora is another version of Helen.

What aout Leonora Vivien.. I like the fact that in the circumstances, Vivien means life. That could be Lea, Lara, Leoni, Leona, nora, Lori... endless

Sorry about your sister.

I have had similar thoughts as DH is named after a relative who died young, and we had our children after my brother had died.

In the end, I felt that I was too close to the person who had died (my brother) to name a child after him. It would feel that my baby was a replacement. DH is an extra generation away, and that feels lovely - like his Dad gave a gift to his parents naming his son after his uncle, if you see what I mean. Too many years have passed to feel as though DH is supposed to be filling the gap.

In the end, we had daughters and so avoided the whole dilemma. I know of several friends of my brother, though, who have given their boys his name as a middle name, which again just feels like such a wonderful gift. When their sons ask how they were named, they will here about my brother and his memory will life on.

One last thing - did you know that Lucy also means "light"?

My sister died 3 years ago and her two best friends have both chosen to call their daughters after her. One as the first name and one as the second name. She has an unusal name and I think it was a lovely thing to do to honour my sister and to show how much she meant to them. If in the unlikely event that i have another daughter i would definately be honouring my sister by using her name either as a first or a second name.

Helen or helena are lovely names to use as a first name.

I hope that helps

My mum's great aunt, who died the day before I was born, had the name that my mum says she had always wanted to use. Both are valued to me.

I lost a friend at primary school to childhood leukaemia, called Laura. We talked about using it for dd, but didn't in the end, though I would consider it again, if there was an 'again'.

My dd has my mum's name as a middle name - she was diagnosed with incurable cancer 2 weeks before my dd was born - she was always going to though. It took me months to persuade my mum it was a considered choice not an emotional reaction.

I think it's a lovely thing to do. I am Helena and I was named after my dad's sister who died shortly before I was born- she had always been known as Helen but her full name was Helena (pronounced Hel-ee-na), so that is my name too. I like the thought of being named after her, and also use the shortened version Lena

ds knows he is kind of named after his uncle (ds name) - actually we just liked the name and I didn't think about Uncle X until we told my Dad what name we'd chosen. Although oddly enough Uncle X was a very close friend and colleague of Auntie Y whose name I would used for a girl....

Ds also has both grandad's names as middles - (one living, one deceased).

All fine and dandy but oddly enough ds did get upset one day and when I asked him what was wrong he said, I'm just thinking of Uncle X and how sad he must be that he never met me. I did have a momentary wobble of 'oh no, what have we done' but I think it's OK really.

I gave my dd as a middle name, the surname of my favourite great uncle that died days after I found out I was pregnant. I always intended to use his name in some way because he was such an inspiring and amazing man.

If you choose Helen or some form of it then it's best to use the possitive to explain why to your child.

My DS is middle-named after my older brother. He would have been a wonderful uncle, as he was a wonderful brother and a kind, loving, funny, generous man - I am proud to give my son his name and look forward to sharing stories with him about DB when he's older.

Helen is a lovely name, as are all the variants I hope you enjoy the naming process and all the memories it may bring.

I would just like to add that my children like to hear the stories behind their names, they are special stoies as they are all family names.

My son's name was chosen because it was the only name that we could agree on and no family member was called that - it turned out that my great grandfather had that name. His middle name is a version of his father's grandfather's name (who at the time was on another planet with alzheimer's, he has sinced died). Ds thinks its special but he is weird having been into archeology and family history at a young age. He always gives both names when asked his name. first, middle and surname. He feels that it is all his names that makes him him.

Nameseeker, we named DS1 after his grandfarther, my dad, who had died 4 years before his birth.

We knew that he was going to have the name as either a first or middle name and then my grandads name as either a first or middle name.

My son is named after a wonderful couragious and amazing man. In the end we used it as his first name, in full, but call him a shortened version that my dad was never called.

He knows he is named after his grandad and likes it, plus I wanted a name that meant something.

DS was born on the same day - about 90 years apart - as my (long deceased) grandad, so we gave him that name as an extra middle name - didn't decide until the day.

It feels quite special now when we explain why he has that name. Of course not as raw as the loss of someone young, but it means a lot to my mum who idolised her dad. It's a good thing to do.