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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

oh, crap. think we've guven dd the wrong name. or poss just sleep-deprived fretting....

29 replies

phdlife · 18/05/2009 20:14

ever since forever, dh and i wanted to name a dd M. But when I was 37 weeks and we were looking for boy names I found the name A for a girl, and thought, that's it. dh liked the name but tbh we were so wound up about boys' names we didn't really have a proper convo about it.

When they asked us in hospital, dh said, you tell them, and I said A, so A she has been fpr 5 weeks now.

But from 1 week on I have intermittently thought she should've been M, mostly when i am stupidly tired (as now!). Partly I don't like that A seems to be more common than i thought. Partly it suddenly seems to me that A's are blonde, which dd never will be, amd M's are dark. Partly i feel i cheated dh out of using his fave name at last.

soon as i began worrying I talked to him about it and he said we could tack M on as a second middle name, so then we could use it if we wanted. but I don't see that we would. If she was going to be called M which is no shorter and sounds similar to A, rhen why nit just name her M?

dh thought after 1 week it;d be too weird to say we'd changed our minds and part of me agrees. but part of me has a weird superstitious conviction that Names Matter and it's important to get it right. how do i do that when my brain is fried? wwyd?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

nooka · 29/05/2009 05:32

Oh and dd had a shock of black hair and really dark eyes as a baby, before going blonde and blue eyed as a toddler and now she is honey blonde/brown and green eyed. They don't necessarily stay the same!

nooka · 29/05/2009 05:30

dd took a long time to settle into her name. I think mainly because we had been so sure we would have another boy that we had spent the last few months thinking abut boys names (we couldn't find another one we really liked) and really hadn't considered girls at all. So she was a real surprise, and having had a fairly unpleasant birth experience and not being very in tune didn't help. dd has the girls name we picked when I was pregnant with ds, so when asked the name was all ready to go. We played with other names for a while and none of them seemed right either. After a while it just settled, and now she is eight I can't imagine her being called anything else.

Concordia · 29/05/2009 01:39

well, in the end we changed to the name we/ I always wanted for our DD, and I dont' regret it. We kept the original name as an extra middle name and although it starts with a different initial it has very similar letters so her full name is now a bit of a jumble and not what i would originally have planned. But DH was not keen to change so that was the compromise. DS is still so confused he mainly calls her 'scrappy' (not either name BTW) but DH has adapted and I am really pleased that i called her the name i always wanted as i'll probably never have another daughter and it is just too good a name for a goldfish (she never looked like teh name i always wanted but somehow i don't think this actually mattered in the end).
Try not to stress too much (I lost hours of sleep over it!)

LittleMissWorryHead · 21/05/2009 19:31

I went through the same sort of thing, Except DH didn't want to change his name. At all.

I wanted him to be his middle name but DH didn't like it as a first name and I was so panicked about having given him the "wrong" name and him having to go through life with the "wrong" name just because of me.

In the end we compromised and changed his middle name to one that DH would have been completely happy with him calling himself if he ever did realise his crazy assed Mother had given him the "wrong" name. it meant i had to give up the name i loved as a middle name but in a way i think that was good. Am going to get a goldfish and name it that.

Phew.

I know its slightly different to your situation but I had to add it! If i were you and you both love the other name then don't worry about anyone else - its stil such early days that I really don't think it matters. Just do what you and your DH think is best for you....

Good luck

EachPeachPearMum · 19/05/2009 22:43

You have up until 12 months to change it, so don't worry...
but if the A name is what I think it is.... I know a dark one, and it is my favourite girls name

LilRedWG · 19/05/2009 15:10

Go for it - M suits her, you are right. A is nice too though......

alarkaspree · 19/05/2009 04:05

I know two people who changed their dcs' names after several months. People probably thought it was strange for a couple of weeks and then forgot what the original name had been. Change it if you want to, it will be FINE.

Original poster

phdlife · 19/05/2009 00:48

thank you all. thing is I do think she's more of an M than an A, something to do with the shape of her eyes (daft as that sounds!). In fact I have called her M a few times by accident, that's what makes me think it should be changed. will bring it up with dh again. lordy, if he thought changing at 1 week was too hard...

OP posts:

KristinaM · 18/05/2009 22:58

yeah, right

pellmell · 18/05/2009 22:47

No!

ryhmes with Nanny
JOKE!!!!!!!!

KristinaM · 18/05/2009 22:30

oh go on tell us

pellmell · 18/05/2009 22:27

seeker.....I was hoping no-one would ask!!!!
would say but could possibly out myself if I do.

PaulaYatesBiggestFan · 18/05/2009 22:24

phdlife we have done this wih ds

before 12 moths they amend birth cert to say known as...

short birth cert however will just have new name

no one cared with ds and i am very glad we did it

Juwesm · 18/05/2009 22:20

Whatever you decide (and I think to go with the one you love the most, even if that means changing it now - if she feels like M to you, go with M ), come along here and update us, as at the moment she's still called TBA!

Bobblebuddy · 18/05/2009 22:09

well thank you, suwoo

i think it is very important to chose a name that suits the baby. i don't understand it when parents decide on the name of their baby before they are even born - before they have even met them! good to have a shortlist, but the final decision has to be based on who they are, i think.

i wish i knew what the A and M stood for, but i'm sure they are both lovely

LilRedWG · 18/05/2009 21:27

It does have to feel right for your DD and if you and DH want to change then do it! FWIW - I like the A name . email me the M name and I can judge fully and make the final decision. ;)

PolkSaladLucie · 18/05/2009 21:24

I had a similar thing, we had a name that we had pretty much agreed on, but it was only when loads of our friends and families started refering to my bump by the name did I doubt it (in case she didn't suit the name) so spent the last month of pregnancy thinking about new names, and in the end went back to the first name! Took a week after she was born to decide, and then we took ages to register, just in case!

Hope you get this sorted, and that you're enjoying you're little lady, whatever her name is!

suwoo · 18/05/2009 21:09

Nice story and interesting perspective Bobblebuddy.

Bobblebuddy · 18/05/2009 21:02

Go with what suits her - is one more delicate than the other, or more studious and the other more fun, or is one quiet and the other outgoing? might sound ridiculous, but my dd was delicate and graceful and studious from the minute she was born - all prim little mouth and chin and dainty outstretched fingers, and we chose her name based on that, and 2.3 yrs on, it suits her down to the ground. it is a v unusual name, and WE took a little time to settle into it, but SHE fit it like a glove from day 1.

it has to 'feel' right for your dc - regardless of whether it is dh's fave name or the name of some long lost auntie. it will be your dc's name for life, so the most important thing is that it reflects them.

georgimama · 18/05/2009 20:41

Before you rush down the registry office though, practice at home. Call her M for a week, refer to her as M when discussing her (with each other). Does it sound "right"?

I always thought I would call a little boy Oliver (I still love that name). DS is called George. It is his name, not the name of some hypothetical child I never had. Does that make any sense?

seeker · 18/05/2009 20:41

Pellmell - PLEASE tell us the 'shocking" one!

suwoo · 18/05/2009 20:39

But you must tell us the names though

myredcardigan · 18/05/2009 20:37

Not sure where you are but if you're in the UK, you have a year during which you can officially change it on the birth certificate and register. I'd change it IIWY otherwise you'll always regret it. She is only 5wks. Doit now!

pellmell · 18/05/2009 20:33

my name was changed the day befor my first birthday (so glad because the original was shocking)
My birth certificate and all subsequent forms like marriage certificate state
".... formerly known as ...."

oooggs · 18/05/2009 20:30

oh phd, has she been registered? how easy is it to change to name over there?

You must be tired (I know I am!!)

How are things apart from this?

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