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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

What do you if your mother objects to the name you love?

31 replies

Tyniclogs · 16/02/2009 22:37

I have fallen in love with a boys name which is unusual (and dual gender) and I ran it past my mother today. She objects to the name as it reminds her of a an ex girlfriend of my brother (who died six years ago) The ex girlfriend wasn't a nice person and my mother holds a grudge. I'm very keen on the name as there are so few which go with our ridiculous surname. SO....the question is, do I stick to my guns and tell my mother she will have to live with it OR choose a different name to save the potential heartache?

I'm planning on finding out the sex at my scan next week and have my fingers crossed for a girl as the name we have chosen is my mothers!

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Tyniclogs · 20/02/2009 17:02

Thanks for the link Thumbwitch, interesting stuff and it makes me feel justified knowing such a man hasn't been held back in life by the name Vyvyan (but I still judge his name harshly!)

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Hailsk · 20/02/2009 16:58

I would say go for it, only beacuse your mum will soon forget her past association with the name when she sees and falls in love with her grandchild

Tyniclogs · 20/02/2009 14:59

'Tough Titty'...I'm liking it, it's fun but hard and you wouldn't mess with a chap called Tough Titty would you?

Vyvyan has way too many similar letters for my liking...does my head in just looking at it! Apparently Americans have only ever used the female form of the name thus losing the olde English tradition of the male Vivian in the mists of time. Not that I'm a raving Nationalist, just explains why so many people don't see it as a man's name.

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thumbwitch · 17/02/2009 23:47

or even Vyvyan - viz one Professor Vyvyan Howard - top bloke.

welshdeb · 17/02/2009 23:32

vivienne is the girls name
vivian is the boys name

beanieb · 17/02/2009 23:28

wasaconventgirl may I commend you for the use of 'tough titty'

RiaParkinson · 17/02/2009 23:23

I think its lovely but then i know a gorgeous bloke with the same

Ignore mum she will come round

Ashantai · 17/02/2009 23:19

Sorry i would definately think that Viv was a girls name, but hey its your bub, you can call him what you like

Tyniclogs · 17/02/2009 09:30

Thanks for your comments everyone, I'm sure I shall know what the answer is when the time comes, I was just interested in other's opinion of the situation. On the whole I completely agree with everyone who says it's entirely your choice! I'm aware the name isn't to everyones' taste, if we all worried about what others thought we'd all name our children the same names. Children grow into their names whatever they may be and I'm sure in the future Viv will have classmates with far worse spellings and names to contend with! The issue for me isn't the name just the effect it may have on my mum.

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seeker · 17/02/2009 06:42

And I know about Viv Richards - but he could be called Wendy and get away with it! You just don't know what sort of a person your ds will be - he may be small and shy and diffident and Viv will be a burden to him.

seeker · 17/02/2009 06:40

Vivian uses to be a boy's name - but it isn't any more. The reason that character in The Young Ones was called Vivian was precisely because of its inappropriateness!

Clary · 17/02/2009 00:23

I wouldn't worry about yr mum (my mum dislikes all my children's names - she says they are "old-fashioned" )

I wouldn't give a boy what is more commonly a girl's name tho - like Evelyn, Carol, Hilary, the assumption would be a girl.

I prefer Guy from your back-up list, tho I agree with SP (hello!) that many names will go with it - Daniel, Oliver, Jacob, oh I could go on.

I've heard many worse

wasaconventgirl · 17/02/2009 00:08

My mother did'nt like my child's name - I still used it. Tuff titty.

MsBrandybuck · 16/02/2009 23:52

I'd say go for whatever name you like. I'm sure your Mum will soon forget any other association with the name.

Our niece told her Gran (my MIL) what she had named her newborn first great grandaughter. My MIL's exact response was "That's shit!!" , so we refused to tell anyone the names we were considering for DS. Well after much nagging I told MIL if we had a girl it was going to be Hepzibah ...just to shut her up for a while

thumbwitch · 16/02/2009 23:49

Viv is both a male and female name.
Remember Vivien from the Young Ones?
If being pedantic, the girl's version should be spelt Vivienne.

seeker · 16/02/2009 23:46

But Viv is a girl's name. Why would you give your boy a girl's name? You wouldn't - presumably - call him Daisy, so why Viv?

thumbwitch · 16/02/2009 23:41
  • might affect his future career options though!
littlelamb · 16/02/2009 23:38

I would do it anyway. I made the mistake of telling my mum the name I was going to use for dd (I was convinced she was going to be a boy at that stage btw) about a week before she was born only to be told that everyone she had known with that name was dim Thanks mum. I would say don't tell anyone about a name until that name actually belongs to your dc. They wil only feel free to criticise it otherwise

SenoraPostrophe · 16/02/2009 23:35

my mum objected to ds's name.

I used it anyway.

I think as your ds grows, she'll come to associate him with the name before your brother's ex.

it's not a ridiculous surname btw. most names will go with it.

Tyniclogs · 16/02/2009 23:35

I'm liking Vlad (with The and Impaler as middle names!)

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thumbwitch · 16/02/2009 23:25

you could just go for Vin then - like Vin Diesel (or however he spells it); or what about Vlad (the Impaler)?

Tyniclogs · 16/02/2009 23:20

Thank you Thumbwitch. I liked Val...and Vic but the 'L' and the 'C' jar a little in my head. I have realised after naming DS number one successfully that I am completely anal about names that 'go' well.

I have as back up: Guy, Roy, Jerry, Vinnie and Leo.

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thumbwitch · 16/02/2009 23:15

I take your point about short and sharp names, definitely - and I do like Viv (always makes me think of Viv Richards, WI cricketer).
how do you feel about Val? (like Val Kilmer)

Tyniclogs · 16/02/2009 23:12

I have a different name so it doesn't worry me. I did marry Mr Heasman but I wasn't about to saddle myself with his surname! I thought it would help to see the situation more clearly..I love the name Viv for a boy and there are VERY few names I can come up with that go with 'Manwhodwellsonaheath!'

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thumbwitch · 16/02/2009 23:08

whoops, didn't expcet you to post the whole name, just the baby name in question! you might want to think about pulling that post to maintain anonymity = just click on the red exclamation mark on the right of the page for that post if you decide to and ask MNHQ to delete it cos you accidentally put your surname in.

If you're not worried about it, then no prob!

I can see your issue though.