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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

My mum and the baby name part 2.

59 replies

ComeWhineWithMe · 27/01/2009 18:06

I am not a violent person but I am having quite violent thoughts towards my Mum right now.

I posted the other day about her refusing to acknowledge the baby if we call her the name we want ,she made a big scene in front of relatives and showed herself up TBH.

Anyway I have just had a phonecall from her saying I am making her the laughing stock at work and that she is going to call the baby Daisy no matter what and that the baby will know her real name from her Nan .

I am trying to ignore her and laugh it off but she is upsetting me a lot and I know she will do it because she has called my nephew a different name for the past 14 weeks of his life due to not liking the name my dsis choose .

She is very overpowering and will try and make me look stupid in front of people I have no confidence in RL and I know she is going to make things hellish when the baby is born I am getting wound up thinking about
it .

She will not come round .
She will not care if people tell her she is been foolish.
She will not respond to any threats such as we will get the dc to call you Granny (which she hates)
She will just carry on stomping over everyones feelings and not giving a shit how she makes other people feel I can not believe I am getting so het over a name but she has really really got me angry today.

OP posts:
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MouseMate · 27/01/2009 18:13

ohhh I like twims idea re the pet...... very sneaky.

Northernlurker · 27/01/2009 18:12

You need to read that book about toxic parents I think. She is behaving apallingly. Even if you wanted to call the child Beef Burger Petrol Smith - her job is to shut up. In your shoes I would tell her that she is upsetting you and if she cannot respect that this is your child you won't be making any efforts to go and see her. If and when she apologises you can start over - but don't let her keep stressing you out and trying to control you.

JustKeepSwimming · 27/01/2009 18:12

Oh CW - poor you

everyone is right of course, you go with the name you & dh have chosen (well i don't know what it is but i'm sure it's fine....) and ignore her.
She's being very very silly (as well as bullying) and she will make herself look v stupid.
If she's worried about being a laughing stock she's going the wrong way about things!

Twims · 27/01/2009 18:11

TBH I would say the childs name will be this - if you have a problem with it and will insist on calling it something else thus confusing the poor little soul then I suggest that there is no reason for the 2 of you to have a relationship - if you want to play an important role in this child's life then you need to come to terms with the childs name and call it thus.

I would then give a teddy of DD's the name Daisy get a pet and call it Daisy so everyone including your daughter thinks she is talking about that and will have a 2 year old turn round and say why are you always calling me the teddy/pets name.

christiana · 27/01/2009 18:11

Message withdrawn

MouseMate · 27/01/2009 18:10

aww mate, thats shite. Is there any reasoning with her? What was her relationship with her mother? Could you use a 'But how would you feel if your mum had done this to you' type scenario.

Otherwise you just may have to bite the bullet and maybe be a little cruel 'Mum, me and XXXX(various family members) were talking and we think you need to go and see the doctor. This is not normal behaviour, it could be the onset of something serious.'

MmeLindt · 27/01/2009 18:09

Agree with Leeza, this is just a way of her being dominant and controlling.

Stick to your guns, you have chosen a lovely name.

She had her chance when she named you and your dsis.

Your baby will know her real name, it is the one that everyone except her crazy nan calls her.

Original poster
ComeWhineWithMe · 27/01/2009 18:09

You are right Leeza she just gets to me so much .

OP posts:
Leeza2 · 27/01/2009 18:07

its not about the name, is it really? its about her domineering and bullying behaviour