My mum and the baby name part 2.

Laughing stock my bum! Either she's making that up, or she has some very odious friends - either way it's her problem.
Repeat, repeat and repeat whichever of the phrases offered (or your own) suits you whenever she starts on the subject. This is a symbolic thing to her - it's not about the name, really, it's about control.

i really like the idea of telling her she needs help! She sounds awful! Good luck on choosing a name, to be honest i don't even think about what the family will think! I know they wont like our choices, but it's our choice, as it is urs! Good luck.

Oh my God Comewhinewithme is your mum and my dad related as I haven't spoke to my dad since day after dc3 was 2 days old as he disagreed with her second name!
When my mum told him he had left me in tears in the hosp he said
"Noone cares about how I feel" That was 2.2yrs ago

Like your mum he just dosen't care, but I was sick of my family occasions being ruined and don't want my dcs growing up around a sad grumpy old man

It is upsetting

Poor you! She sounds terrible. She is being v unreasonable and manipulative. It is up to your self and your DH/DP to choose the name and no one else! Violet is a lovely choice so I really don't think it is about the name at all but more about her controlling, unreasonable personality!
If you don't have the confidence to stand up to her, perhaps your DH could have a strict word and say that you have been very stressed and upset because of her behaviour and that he is concerned because of your pregnancy so please could she stop upsetting you!
Good luck and do stick with the name that you both like!

yep just every time she calls the baby Daisy just say "actually mother her name is X, I think you're getting confused again"
and do it every single time she does it. esp in front of friends/family etc.

if she won't stop then I would say look, this is confusing for everyone. I suggest you don't see the baby until you are grown up enough to learn her real name and use it.

God, your mum sounds an absolute nightmare. How awful for you.

I think it's time for some tough love. perhaps you should remind her of the relationship she has with her other daughter and grandchild and say that you would hate for the same thing to happen again.

She's entitled to her opinion and to not like your choice (which, incidentally I LOVE) but to say she is a laughing stock and will insist on calling your daughter by another name is unacceptable.

I think you have to stop appeasing her and make it clear you won't be bullied.

Come whine, of course you must choose your own name and ignore your mother's demands. This is your baby and your decision. If you allow her to sway you over something as important as what your child is called she will continue to ride roughshod over every decision you make.

Don't worry at all about your LO getting confused, it doesn't sound as if she will be spending an awful lot of time with her (or shouldn't ). Also Daisy is a cute enough name to be a nickname in a petal/flower/sweetpea kind of way (no offence meant to anyone with DD called Daisy) so your DD will just think that's granny's pet name for her. If necessary, just roll your eyes at DD and say 'I think Granny's getting confused again isn't she'

This should be a lovely, happy time for you so pay no attention to the mad old bint.

alternatively tell her that the child will grow up thinking she's her 'mad' granny, who's a little odd in the head if she really wants that then carry on all the same!!

Read your other thread and it's so sad that she's ruining this special time for you.

I would tell her firmly that you will no longer discuss this issue with her (no point in stressing yourself out til the baby arrives). and inform her in advance you WILL be putting the phone down or leaving the conversation if the suject is raised again.

You do need to stand up to her, what's the worst she can do.... if all your siblings know she's like this no one will be surprised!

tbh she can't being doing yor blood pressure any favours atm so some distance may even be benificial.

If she does pesist with the daisy thing once dd has arrived then politely inform her that until she is prepared tro accept the name that you have choosen she is nopt welcome to see the child, as you do not wsh to confuse.

Good luck it sounds like she does have some control or other mental health issues...

yes please read the toxic parenst threads

I quite like Daisy but that's not the point is it, even if you liked it you couldn't use it now. Or if i were you i certainly couldn't. As soon as someone tells me what to do my heels dig in!!

I suppose if my mum had said years ago that the name X was really special to her and she would love to have a GC called X i might consider it, but more likely as a middle name. and she wouldn't get a look in if she behaved so badly!

Stick to your guns

I also love the teddy / pet idea...

I know shes your mum but also agree that if this is typical you are better off without her in your / your DCs lives.

From your OP I imagine your Dsis is pretty p**d off with her too any chance of you teaming up with her to tackle this?

ComeWhineWithMe am so sad for the way she's treating you - you wouldn't put up with this nonsense from a 'friend' so certainly shouldn't have to from your mother

Violet is such a beautiful name and your mother is ruining what should be a lovely lovely time for you

cut her out and ignore her, as hard as it is she is not bringing anything positive to this experience so don't waste you time

Well Violet was my dh's nasty gran's name so not for me but a perfectly reasonable name that your mother should have no issue with. (not like you are thinking of something that isn't even a name, not going to state an eg in case there's one on MN!)
So given that she is BU, she is a bully, she has caused similar scenes already, you have got to learn to rise above her tactics.
As someone else said, get s phrase ready and repeat it ad nauseum whenever the subject gets brought up.
And get dh, other DCs to say it too.

She is the one who ends up looking like a loon so let her get on with it!

sounds like it might be a good thing she doesn't come round.

Poor you, my mum hated DS1 name and went on and on about it despite us asking her not to. She did exactly the same thing with my nephew making my poor hormonal sister cry when he was a few hours old

we just had to give it to her straight, to get over it and that it was our children and she would end up with them disliking her if she criticised their names.

(at one point I told her that I didn't rate the name she gave me very highly so didn't value her opinon on the matter )

DS1 is 3 now and she never brings it up any more.

Why would you need this person in your life?

I know she's your mother - but she's not behaving in any manner deserving your respect or love. She's just trying to bully you. It's really horrible.

Hi again, I saw your other thread and TBH I can't believe your mums behaviour. What you call your DCs is noones business but yours and your DH. And I find the idea that they will know their real name from their Nan ludicrous. In a few years time when your new DD has her own voice she will be telling her to call her Violet (or whatever else you decide to call her). FWIW I like both names but think that Violet is more sophisticated and will suit your DD at all stages of her life. Try not to get stressed out by this (not easy I know) stick to your guns and ignore this loon. If it gets too bad just don't see her.

Whatever happens you must not give in over this to the extent that if she tries to call the baby Daisy then you should make her leave your home.

you could sing daisy daisy (i'm half crazy..) at her

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