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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Should (quite a bit) older siblings get a veto on a new baby's name?

86 replies

SoLongMarianne · 10/01/2009 22:23

I'm pregnant (still superstitiously negotiating 1st trimester so not "out" on mumsnet yet but am a regular poster) with older kids (all over 9). I was idly discussing names with my other half today only to be interrupted every two seconds by our children's impassioned pleas not to inflict any of our most treasured choices on the new bairn. Cries of "Urrgh! that's the worst name I've ever heard!" and "No! There's a horrid kid called X at school and I will never forgive you if you name my brother/sister that!" and so on and so forth abounded. I'm not planning to hand over naming duties to them wholesale or anything but if they really hated a name should that be taken into account?

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Lonnie · 11/01/2009 11:40

So Long Marianne why dont you ask them to make a list (not sure how many there is) of say 5 names that they like and then dh and you could pick one of those as a middle name?

No I wouldnt permit my children to have a say in a siblings name I dont feel it is their right to do. Neither will I ever do like my mother did when I anounced the name of our son (Conrad) and say thats HORRIBLE (in that way) well tough mum you named your children horrid names so why do you think you would like what I choose? I very much hope when my children name their kids I will be able to go ohhh thats PRETTY even if inside im screaming OMG WHAT HAVE YOU DONE...

catweazle · 11/01/2009 11:35

Sorry I clearly read that wrong.

I don't think it would affect their feelings toward the baby BUT someone else had a good point about them knowing the reaction from the playground. (also would you want to use a name that someone horrible at school had?)

DS2 wanted to call this one Patience. I was tempted but I'm glad we didn't because she has none

Original poster
SoLongMarianne · 11/01/2009 10:40

What?! Of course it wasn't, catweezle. Why do you think that? I thought your advice was great and wanted to discuss it a bit more, especially as you're one of the people who's been through a similar situation.

OP posts:
catweazle · 11/01/2009 10:32

If it was a name I really loved and miracle of miracles DH actually agreed then any yuk from siblings would be ignored, yes. It was hard enough finding something we both liked.

I did run our final choice past the 3 at home as a courtesy.

(was your 22.35 response to me intended to be as aggressive as it came across? )

Tickle · 11/01/2009 10:31

Agree letting them pick middle names would be nice. 2 of our kids are known by their middles anyway!

choosyfloosy · 11/01/2009 10:14

Liking that idea Because.

Thunder is actually quite a cool name.

BecauseImWorthIt · 11/01/2009 10:11

Why don't you ask them what names they would choose, and see what you and DH think about those?

purepurple · 11/01/2009 10:04

it would be a lovely idea to include them in choosing the name, but you don't have to go with what they say. But they could pick middle names

vess · 11/01/2009 10:01

I wouldn't choose a name that they absoutely hate!
Get them to write a list of favorite names, then discuss name meanings etc.etc. so the feel involved.
I've read that hearing their oppinions is what matters to kids most - you don't have to agree with them though!

belgo · 11/01/2009 09:17

I don't think anyone should have a say in the name of a baby except the parents, with the mother having the final say

piscesmoon · 11/01/2009 09:14

I agree with Janni-they are the ones who know what the reaction in the playground will be!
I should have a short list. I chose a name for my brother, which wasn't used (perhaps just as well!)but I really disliked the name chosen and have never changed my mind.

Janni · 10/01/2009 23:59

I would listen to them actually, because they're the ones who will know from schoolground experience what the cool and the naff names are, far better than a dewy-eyed mum-to-be. I agree they shouldn't get to pick the name, but if they violently object to something then you should listen.

snice · 10/01/2009 23:57

No- something to do with a Private Eye joke about crap celebrity names that they decided to use in a double bluff

(am not Geldof stalker by the way but Googled)

Original poster
SoLongMarianne · 10/01/2009 23:54

True enough, snice. Did Peaches pick Pixie's name, then?

OP posts:
snice · 10/01/2009 23:52

But with Fifi you could pretend it was short for Fiona if you decided to become a librarian

Original poster
SoLongMarianne · 10/01/2009 23:49

I didn't know that, snice. I think I'd actually marginally prefer to be called Peaches than Fifi if I was in choose or die mode.

OP posts:
Original poster
SoLongMarianne · 10/01/2009 23:47

Yes, I do fear you may be right, Tabitha, One son had an almighty strop when his choice of cat name was not chosen a couple of years back, iirc. Perhaps it would be easier to say "sorry bratlets, you get no say at all"... Oh dear. dilemmas dilemmas

OP posts:
snice · 10/01/2009 23:47

I think Fifi picked the name Peaches for her sister

Tabithacat · 10/01/2009 23:39

No, don't do it! We had a weekend of screaming and slamming doors over naming a puppy!

Can't imagine how bad it could be naming a baby.

Original poster
SoLongMarianne · 10/01/2009 23:39

I thought Bob and Paula were the name choosers, snice? They must have picked Fifi Trixibelle's name at least.

OP posts:
Original poster
SoLongMarianne · 10/01/2009 23:37

Did you give him carte blanche, ladyevenstar, or did he have a shortlist to pick from? I wondered whether getting them to select the name they hated least from our choices might work, if they could (miraculously) agree amongst themselves on which name that was...

OP posts:
snice · 10/01/2009 23:32

Geldof

snice · 10/01/2009 23:31

If you let the children choose you'll end up in a Bob Gelof/Paula Yates situation

sleepycat · 10/01/2009 23:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheLadyEvenstar · 10/01/2009 23:29

I let ds1 then aged 9 chose ds2's name.

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