Baby girls name picked 3 years ago but brother-in-law just left his family for woman with same name?!

Your BIL may not stay with this woman and her name may never be known so use the name you like I think though the spelling Lucie is very pretty so maybe a good middle way.

Perhaps tell your Sis (is that who was left?) that you have chosen name Lucy so you stake your claim now, before she finds, out, so she knows it is coincidence not vindictive?

OOh tricky.
Probably wait and see if you have the baby before your sil finds out about the affair, call her Lucy if sil does not find out about the ow first.
This sounds awful I know but the name may have negative connotations with family.

I would ask BIL's wife and and your MIL for their opinions.

Personally I would probably change the name but if you love it then stick to your guns.

I would ask BIL's wife and and your MIL for their opinions.

Personally I would probably change the name but if you love it then stick to your guns.

I think I'd go with a different name, or one similar but not the exact one. Especially as everthing will be so new and raw at the time of naming your baby.

how about Lucia?

I love Lisa - in fact I think I prefer it to Lucy. And it's not a widely used nowadays so you won't get three of them in her class...

I agree with you. I think it would send out a message that you don't care about SIL's pain or discomfort.

It's perhaps a shame, but there must be another name.

I don't think you should use the name - sorry. My brothers' ex wives had 2 of my favourite girl's names, and I asked them how they would feel if I used the names and the both said they would feel very hurt and thought it would upset their children - so I didn't. Still regret not having a little Caroline thought!

I think that you should call your baby Lucy as planned. I was going to call my dd after my MIL and then a looser seleb had a baby the month befire and called her baby my name! I called my dd another name as I felt a bit daft and I really, really regret it now. After a few weeks people will associate your baby's name with your baby and not with anybody else.

Lucy is a lovely name and it is not a totally unusual name so it may pass under the radar with your extended family. The chances are that they will probably split up anyway!

I'd stick with the name you like too. We always had a name in mind for our daughter (long before she was born) and then a good friend of ours met and had children with a woman by the same name. She turned out to be a complete madwoman and left our friend penniless and bereft and almost friendless. When our daughter was born, we discussed our choice of name with our friend and now our daughter 'owns' the name and the crazy one is long gone! Our friend is also much better now!

OK so what would you expect to have happened if your DD already existed and had the same name? WOuld you be made to change her name, or have the whole family whining at every gathering about how she reminded them of the EEEEVVIL one?
TBH as you don't see the relevant people more than once a year, don't worry about it.
If you do have a DD of course you might take one look at her and go' You're not a [lucy] you're a [susannah/whatever] anyway or go right off the name for other reasons.

This is a very tricky situation.

If it was a BIL who had left your sister for a woman named Lucy then I would say defo don't name your child Lucy. However, as she's your SIL so (without wanting to sound cruel) prob wont be part of your family for much longer I think it's not really the end of the world.

If your baby is born before his children learn about this other woman then your lo would be the first Lucy and this other woman would just happen to have the same name.

It's up to u tho, if you're worried about it then maybe it's not a great idea, u have to be 100% sure.

Lucia and Lucille are both nice.

What about Lucille?

Personally, I would find another name. The pain and association is too much, and other family members may unintentionally 'resent' her (short of a milder word) .. if YKWIM.

I would stick with the name you like. If baby is due in 8 weeks time then noone will think that you've got close enough to your brother's new woman in that space of time to name your DC after her.

Plus things may well fizzle out with her and then you will always regret not going with the name.

Lucie as someone suggested earlier is a very pretty spelling. Or else cross everything that you'll have a boy! Horrible situation.

Maybe she will be out of the picture very soon, and you should not give up on a name you relly like? What if your baby had been born just days before, would you have felt bad as well ?

Lulu?
Lola?
Luisa?

Have you made it known that your baby girls name is going to be Lucy? As if your family are aware of it perhaps that will make it easier should you choose to stick to your choice. Also how often do you see your sister in law and her children? If you are close maybe it is better avoided however, if you rarely have contact I can't see how or why it should alter your decision. I was going to pick a name that a 2nd cousin used for her son and considered changing it until my nan pointed out I nearly never see her or her son so it would not affect either of us. If it's going to be a reminder for you however of this then maybe a new name is better. Leyla? Lois? Lacey?

What an awful situation.

Does your mil know? Could you ask what she thinks?

Lucinda is probably the best option at the moment which you could later shorten to Lucy.

Hope your sil is ok when she finds out about the ow.

Zacksmummy: I desperately wanted to call my DD after my much-loved Grandmother, Mary. However, in the months before DD was born, my husband's brother and his wife (also a Mary) went through an extremely bitter divorce, and, as a consequence, I let myself be persuaded that we should call DD a different "neutral" name to avoid ill-feeling.

I would have to say that I still regret not having stuck to my guns, in particular as it's now clear to me that the name would in fact soon have become "owned" by my daughter and the light that she brings to the whole family, rather than continuing to have an negative overtone because of the ex-sister-in-law.

Lucinda? like the loony in The apprentice? not sure that is much better...

seriously now, your Ds might find it a bit upsetting, then again she might not mind at all, have you asked her? is she aware it is a name you had in mind long beforwe this sad event?

Oh no. How awful.
Wouldn't use it myself I'm afraid.

Eloise is beautiful.