I give-up, after 9 months and hundreds of these threads, we settled on a name only for a close friend to call her baby the same thing.

Carys?
Lydia?

The other option is a longer name that the family shorten to Nina. Such as Serena or Cristina.

I know an Albert. We quite liked it but had a cat called Bertie so that was out!

if dd4 was a boy, i was going to call her bernard lol.

dd4 has a v popular name. itys #6 in the uk names currently. but surprisingly no-one in the immidate families on either side have used it. so i bagged it lol.

Ha ha ha - my DH suggesed Albert if this one is a girl... (but we already named the frog in the garden Albert so I need to think of something else).

I would stick with Nina if you love it and spent ages deciding. I would explain to your friend that you agonised over this for ages and this was the only name you agreed on, and its a beautiful name. I'm sure your friend would be ok about it! I really don't understand how your friend could get really really upset about it for very long unless they are completely bonkers.

On the other hand, you may end up going through the same conversation with other friends time and time again: "What did you call her?", "She's called Nina", "Oh...isn't X's daughter called Nina", "Yes, it was a real coincidence, I loved the name and we blah di blah di blah". It could get quite wearing.....in whch case, go for something else. You've got from now to 6 weeks after birth to make your mind up!

How about Martha?

When we thought we were having a girl it was dh's daily suggestion LuLu

Yes I can understand b). In which case if there are other options then she might choose one of those. But if any other name is going to feel second best then I would just stick with it.

Bernard is my DD's name

I challenge someone to produce me a boys name that a friend hasn't already used (or I haven't already used). Because by ds3 there was literally nothing left.

But I wonder if artichokes concerns are actually twofold. She seems both

a) concerned about the feelings of her friend
b) actually a little bit put off by the fact that there will be other children around with her DD's name, perhaps making it a little less special to her DD.

Skidoodle I have enough friends that to find a name that a) we liked and b) would go with our surname -which actually ruled out lots. Meant that every name was used by some friend. I have 3 boys. By the time you get to the third you can be struggling.

I wasn't going to cal my child Bernard (apologies to any Bernard's out there) because of an insane friend.

artichokes, dd3 is Serena. but everyone calls her Nina.

LOL "Unless you call your baby something made up it's going to happen that they'll share names."

Do you really have tens of millions of friends?

Because otherwise, there are plenty of names to go around.

Interesting to be princess-like. Although I don't see how I'm being any more princess-like that someone who says:

"but this is THE name. it's the ONLY name we can use. the fact that you have just used it and might be upset by our choice is utterly irrelevant"

My position is that there are many names in the world and few good friends. Pick a different name to avoid making a friend sad.

I guess you have many, many friends but have only heard of a few names

Cara?

LuLu- depends how big your family is! Mine is huge. And anyway people then just copy you and use the name themselves.

DS1's name wasn't listed in any of the lists the year we had him, and people would say 'oh how unusual'. It's now in the top 50 and I hear it quite a bit.

jimjam - it is perfectly possible to choose a name that doesn't belong to anyone you know without making something up.

DD has a very real name but it is not popular in this country (not even in top 5000 the year she was born).

I would have been a sobbing wreck if someone I knew well had chosen the name 2 days before she was due.

But perhaps, judging by it's gross unpopularity, I am the only person in this country who actually likes it

skidoodle - If a friend would wind up a friendship over a name I would consider them too high maintenance tbh - and unlikely to be there in tough times (which we've had).

artichokes. DS1 and ds2 were named after family members so there's no way we would have changed those- they were chosen for a reason. Ds3 sounds as if it was a case similar to yours. We thought for months and could only really find one name. We're very happy with it still but I still can't think of any other name that would suit him.

As your friend is fine about it you may find it brings you all closer in some way. My friends are always extra interested in the kids who share names. It sort of happens that way.

if its your one and only name I would stick with it.

That is quite understandable then. I went to school with a Freyja who is now 38. I am convinced that her school friends naming their children after her has contributed to the rise of the name!!!!

I'm a big fan of Nina, but I think Anya, Thea and Joy have some of the same modest beauty!

norkmaiden the other choice she has is think her friend is maybe not such a good friend at all and start winding up the friendship.

I'm not kidding, that is how pissed off I would be if a good friend did this to me and that is not something I would take remotely lightly.

Leda?

I can't imagine having a friend that princess like tbh.

Both ds2 and ds3 have the same name as friend's kids. And every alternative name we came up with was 'owned' by some friend or another. Unless you call your baby something made up it's going to happen that they'll share names. Would think it awkward if they were cousins so close in age (although actually I have a large family so have several cousins who share first names), bit not kids of friends.

It's hardly claiming a name forever, is it?

This child was named yesterday and the OP is due in two days.

These children will be exactly the same age and presumably will spend a lot of time together, at least when they are young.

Anyway it's clear that some people would be touched and others would be furious and it's hard to know without asking, although I think it would be truly dreadful to ask and then go ahead if she did say it would upset her. And if I was asked, that's what I'd say.

Lia?

thanks for the correction skidoodle - but I stand by my original post! She WILL get over it - what other choice would she have?!!

"In what way is it "touching" that you would have a friend so utterly unconcerned with your feelings that they would do this to you? I wouldn't consider it at all touching."

My best friend was touched when I was considering the same name as her son. So seems that not everyone feels the need to claim a name for ever.

Arti - I think you could just tell her. She may be pleased. If she's not then it's still up to you.

How about Maya?

I would love to use it, but we have good friends with a Mia and DH thinks Maya is too close, so am happy to give it away