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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Has anyone changed their baby's name after it was registered?

90 replies

TooMuchMakkaPakka · 20/10/2008 00:33

Maybe this is a strange manifestation of pnd, but i don't feel happy with the name we chose for our lovely DS. She's just under four weeks old, we've registered the name and told everyone. She was even called a different name for the first three days before changing to current one. I really wanted a particular name (a third one, hope you're keeping up with this!), but in the stress surrounding the birth, she was early and i was in hospital weeks beforehand, it sort of didn't get picked. To be honest, feel DH wanted me to choose and put pressure on me to decide then and there - I hadn't had more than two hours sleep in the previous 48, or so it felt. I feel my little girl has got second best (well on the lists we wrote beforehand the name she's got was 9th on mine and 8th on DHs) so 8/9th best . Has anyone out there changed a name at this point and if so, what did you have to do, did your DH certify you (i think mine might!) and was it worth the complete confusion / ridicule of family and friends (some of whom (e.g DH work) have already been told of one name change already!).

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clarabellabella · 27/11/2008 16:35

I know someone who was called Ben until he was five and then they started calling him his second name (Nick). Doesn't appear to have harmed him in anyway.

eviz · 27/11/2008 15:36

hi, just flying in to say we changed dd2's name at 6wks (ie called her name 1 from birth but registered her as name 2 at 6wks)

It did cause some confusion at first but was only awkward for about a week whilst my 2yr old struggled with the change. FIL was also cutting and pretended to forget new name - but after that everyone kinda moved on.

with hindsight I think I'd have stuck with the original name - but at the time I got into a real tizz about it. I'd say if you really really love name 2 then change - otherwise it's probably just a phase which will pass

We kept name 1 as middle name -so she can always have the choice later on!

Rebexus · 27/11/2008 15:28

Why don't you call DD by the new name for the next couple of weeks (at home amongst yourselves) and then in a few weeks you may either love it or hate it. No-one else need know and if it works you can change her name oficially and let people know in their Christmas cards - and if not no-one knows and no face is lost.

laughgiraffe · 27/11/2008 00:52

To all of you regretting a name choice - as i said in my other post - do it! Fixing DD's name at 4 months was a lot easier than you might expect. We decided to try her new name for one weekend, and if it seemed right, we would tell people on the monday. On the saturday, we went to a fair and saw some friends who had not yet seen the baby. When they asked "What is her name?" I took a deep breath and said "Angharad". No worries! - as the weekend went on we barely ever mixed up with the old name. By the sunday, we both felt like a HUGE weight was off our shoulders and we felt much happier. We told people and the gossip stopped within a few weeks because everyone else had better things to worry about than our kids name. If you stand up and announce a change, work people won't really care and family members will just have to deal with it.

Every single day since Angharad's name change (she is now 6 years old) i spend lovinglovingloving her name. I get a buzz seeing it on her school books, uniforms, pictures etc EVERY time i see it. It suits her perfectly. If we hadn't changed it, i would be spending all those moments wishing we had. So i say only you (and maybe dh's) know WHO your kid is supposed to be. If you got it wrong -fix it! If Dh's are sick of talking about it, explain that you dont want to spend the rest of your life regretting it.

Original poster
TooMuchMakkaPakka · 25/11/2008 20:49

ooops typo - it's DH i need to convince that we want another baby - although don't think DS would be too keen either.

OP posts:
Original poster
TooMuchMakkaPakka · 25/11/2008 20:48

Deckchair - let us know what you decide to do and how it goes.

walking primrose, i don't think i can give her all three names as she already has a middle name which is my mum's name and removing that would not be a good idea

But we will definitely keep Naomi somewhere in the mix as DH feels he has got used to it and it's becoming part of her. Imogen was 1st on the list of names i made before birth, Ellen was 5th and Naomi was 8or9th. Ellen may really suit her though.

Saw a different doctor today and he said that it would be ok to get pregnant again, but think convincing DS of this will be rather difficult.

I am plucking up the courage to talk to DH about it again but it is getting to be a very sore subject. And it doesn't help that my opinion changes a bit from day to day. Christmas is our d-day for sorting it out so will let you know what happens.

OP posts:
LaDollyVita · 22/11/2008 09:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

walkingprimrose · 22/11/2008 09:07

I really feel for you - as I said in my previous post, I was preoccupied by it too and wanted just the right name. I also wish I'd chosen different middle name for my daughter but was 'saving' my other fave name in case had another girl. I didn't have another girl and now it v.v. unlikely that I'll have any more children. So I say give her all you 3 favourite names, its quite common to have 2 - would they all sound ok with your surname?

Naomi Imogen Ellen ....
Ellen Naomi Imogen ....
Ellen Imogen Naomi ....

Just be honest with what you REALLY want if you can and then insist on it!
Please let us know what you decide x

Original poster
TooMuchMakkaPakka · 21/11/2008 23:51

We could add Ellen as a middle name but on my other post loads of people have advised against calling someone by their middle name, they say it is really confusing for having a bank account, going to school, going to the doctors, or anything really.

I feel relieved to know that other people are going through this, as I think about it every day. Daren't mention it to DH much as he now feels happy with the name we chose. We are at a bit of an impasse because there doesn't seem a compromise on the change / no change dilemma. But it seems that I feel more strongly about it than him. Perhaps if she gets the 'right' name i will stop thinking about it?

I am getting used to calling her her official name and it comes to mind now very easily, but, it still makes me feel sad.

I have asked both GP and HV if it could be pregnancy hormones and they say not. I have been a bit up and down, but regardless of my mood i still feel the same about the name.

As an aside HV mentioned that some of this could be due to in my case at least, associated the chosen name with all the crap that was going on around the time of the birth (i was very unwell for a good while before and after) and my need to have a name chosen when things were better. Also the fact that i have been told not to try for any more children for health reasons, so the feeling that this has to be the very best name, as she is the only daughter i will ever have so no chance of an Ellen or Imogen later

OP posts:
hermionegrangerat34 · 21/11/2008 23:19

Why not just add Ellen as an additional name now (doesn't matter whether as a new first or second name); then she has both names officially, and you can decide as and when which you call her by, or even use both interchangeably! Lots of people are known by their middle name.

walkingprimrose · 21/11/2008 23:07

I can empathise with the changing name dilemma totally - I was SO undecided about my DS's name for months, kept going between 2 names; it was all I could think about and talk about, husband got so sick of it. Eventually, when he was baptised (at 6 months old) and the priest refered to him throughout the service by the name we'd finally gone for as the first name, I sat there in church and thought "Oh No!!He's not xxxxxxx, he's xxxxxx afterall!!!" So, we had him Baptised in one name and got back to our house for the 'do' and told everyone to call him by the other name!

So now we actually call him by his middle name and my new dilemma is should I change it round by Deedpoll?!

My advice is change it if you're not happy, its your baby, do not care about what anyone else thinks. Other people might think its strange for about 5 mins and then they'll just get on with their lives - you've got to live with it forever.

x

deckchair · 21/11/2008 22:10

I'm going to out myself as a mn'er now as I have spent the last couple of weeks, talking to lots of people about my ds name. He was 1 recently and I am seriously thinking about changing his name.
I have never been 100% happy and now he looks less and less like the name we gave him.
The only thing that stops me is the fact he knows his current name. I know if I am going to change it, I need to change it NOW.
DH is on side for this after some months of me niggling about his name

The pressure even now!

MartiniGirl · 20/11/2008 21:23

Hi,

I have just joined so i can join in!! How are you feeling about the name change thing now?

I am going through almost exactly the same thing, we chose the name Jacob together and had him ergistered but even now, when he is 12 weeks old, i still can't help feeling sad about his name and regretting not calling him Luca.

I don't know what to do about it as dh says he sees him as Jacob now :0(

Eating me up though and i too don't know if its just post pregnancy hormones...

Anyway, good luck with whatever you decide

Original poster
TooMuchMakkaPakka · 11/11/2008 16:43

Thanks for your help / advice everyone. It was very helpful to know that other people had also regretted name choice and I was not on my own. Also gave me the confidence to seriously consider name changing rather than just fret about it. Ok, you may (or may not) be interested to know, that I have finally found a time when neither DH or nor myself were asleep, dealing with a screaming child, at work or in a bad mood, and have managed to raise the name changing issue (it took a few weeks!).

He said he didn't realise how seriously i felt about it which was why he had closed all previous conversations down with flippant comments (work promotions etc). Obviously he's not overjoyed about prospect of name change but willing to consider it given how strongly i feel.

He finally ruled out Imogen as too silly with our surname but is potentially ok with Ellen. He is a bit worried I might stil not be happy with the name, even when it is changed (bear in mind we've changed it once already in the first couple of days) and so reckons we should wait until xmas. If i still want to change it at xmas, he'll go for it (god knows what we'll put on the xmas cards). I can't see me changing my mind about wanting the change, but as I am madly post-natal at the moment, anything could happen.

I think if we do change he would like to keep Naomi as a middle name.

OP posts:
Pinktastic · 01/11/2008 14:35

My DD is Imogen but is known as Imo, Mo or Mojo. I always loved the name and when I first heard it long before she was born I fell in love with it and it was not that common. There is another Imogen in her class this year who is also known as Mo !!

RustyBear · 01/11/2008 12:21

I would do it now while you are thinking about it - we gave DS a second name (He has 3 names + surname) we later regretted & kept meaning to change it, but never got round to it.
Ds has always hated it never uses it except for his passport - which means that plane tickets also have to be booked in that name.

lulumama - I always thought you could only change a surname by deed poll,so thanks for that info - maybe DS would like to change it himself now he's an adult.

myjobismum · 01/11/2008 11:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

monkeysmama · 24/10/2008 19:28

I've worried too much about what people will think in the past. DP probably won't know most of the people he's worried about telling in a few years from now but your dd will still have the name....

allytjd · 24/10/2008 19:22

friends of mine did this when their son was three weeks old and are pleased they did. I got a bit stuck witha name for DS3 and ended up calling him a rather dull name which I rather regret as he is quite a character (but in my defence DH wanted Otto or Oscar and we live in smalltown Scotland not Islington).

pamelat · 24/10/2008 19:10

DH can blame you . He can be promoted on the grounds that he is considerate, compromises and negotiates! (he can get the middle name naomi as his compromise!)

pamelat · 24/10/2008 19:08

Naomi is a lovely name, but I do prefer either Ellen or Imogen. In fact I think we will use Imogen if we ever have another daughter (am not even pregnant)

Using Naomi as a middle name is a good idea.

monkeymonkeymonkey · 24/10/2008 12:50

laughgiraffe

I love the name Angharad

beckyeliza72 · 24/10/2008 12:41

www.ukofficialdeedpoll.com/?gclid=CJOjlcvjv5YCFQWc1AodCguzyQ

this might help?

J2O · 24/10/2008 12:19

argh i didn't see it!! will it be repeated again?

woohoo, a thread i replied to was on the TV, woohoooooooo

laughgiraffe · 24/10/2008 03:59

Hi. Stumbled on this discussion and HAD to register so i could add in my story. We changed our daughters name at 4 months. BEST THING WE EVER DID! Hubby is Welsh, me australian. we live in oz. Both loved the name Angharad. Rellies and friends were horrified so when she was born we tried to make everyone (except us) happy and called her something else -dont even like to write it). It started to eat away at us and I knew we had made a mistake. At 4 months we announced that her name was going to be Angharad after all. People (work/family) gossiped for a while but most people said "If it means that much to you then ok". Quite a few people told us they'd done the same thing. New birth certificate - easy. She is now 6years and loves her name. She knows the story and thinks the old name is yuk. Every day i feel glad that she is Angharad - the name she should have been all along.