Two surnames - why the confusion?

I don't get how it works in spain. When you get married do you just keep your own names? Which part of the parent's surname goes to the child - the first or last part?

LaTrucha, unless the law has changed very recently, then you can have as many european union country nationalities as you like as there is no EU passport scheme, so you can have spanish and british passports or any combo especially as britain is not part of the schengen treaty like spain. my ex's half sister has dual nationality, spanish and british and has 2 passports

I would assume it's because people think it is her middle name!

So if you are in Spain and you are called something like Maria Grazia Hello
am I right in assuming that Grazia would be your fathers surname, Hello your Mothers, you would be called Maria Grazia and your children would be called Marita Smith Grazia or would they be Marita Smith Hello? And if Maria was really Juan would they be Juan Smith Hello or Juan Smith Grazia.

Have a friend who is married to a Spanish guy whose children are named in this way but had never thought of their children.

I don't understand what the problem is TBH.
We gave DD both our last names. Not hyphenated, just the last names, and we have no problem - my granny was born in Argentina and that's the way they name babies there also.

"You're going against all the conventions that exist!" BecauseImworthit - not correct actually.
There are many ways of naming one's child, not just your way.

My dd has both our surnames, mine first and then my dh's. Her surname is unhyphenated. We haven't had any problems with it thus far.

She can do what she likes when she is older.

I think the whole naming thing blowing people's minds in this day and age is hilaaaaarious - 'why don't you and dh have the same last name? What will your dd do when she gets married? What will her children be called?'

Pookie, why would anyone want to know which surname was the father's? Why would it matter? And what do you mean THE surname?

Your post sounds like you are very suspicious of people with two surnames and think they are doing something wrong! (No, tell me what your REAL surname is, stop trying to hide it.)

There are lots of people in this country with two surnames, whether double barrelled or not.

Blimey, didn't know that. Since when was the EU one nation, exactly? Bloody Brussels.

Apparently, because we're all in the EU now, you have to decide on one nationality for your passport. If DH was from USA, for example, she cold have dual nationality.

I thnk the Spanish system is very fair too.

If you were say Phoebe Gillespie Brown in the UK, which of those sur names would you GUESS was the father's?? And which, if you only had space for one sur name on a form would you take to be THE sur name, the first or the second.

Going by the Spanish system it'd be the first sur name... But in the UK I think peple assume the last sur name is the proper sur name. Hence the problem for Spanish fathers living in the UK.

I have a double-barelled surname from my DH and I have problems with that - people always just use the last one. Luckily, as it's not my family name, I don't get that worked up. DH hates it when it happens though.

As for Frances Hodgson Burnett and Whatshisname Cougar Mellencamp, I always thought that the Hodgson and Cougar were their middle names which they were including for effect

My dd has 2 surnames, not hyphenated. But lots of people do hyphenate it and I don't argue with them. When I fill in forms for her or make appointments for her, I write/state her name correctly. If anyone calls her by either one or the other, I correct them.

TBH, I think it will be her that will be most insistent on her name being correct as she gets older. She is 9 now and is rather proud of her unusual surname.

you should have done what i did. gave dd my maiden name as a middle name (will be with her forever, not to be married off iyswim) and she has dh's surname.

DON'T hyphenate. Dh's surname was hyphenated and it caused no end of problems. In this age of computers hyphenated names have a tendency to go very wrong. We have, for example, had two tax bills, one in his name (hyphenated) and another in his name without the hyphen!

It's a pretty intractable problem. In Spanish cultures people give both parents' surnames and put the father's first, and in common usage only use that. In the UK, they tend to assume the last name is the relevant one. So if you straddle both cultures, you will find that the child is called by a different surname in each.

Dh and I got round it by merging our surnames (new surname is one word, half of his sn, half of mine). It doesn't follow any tradition, but at least it has a bit of both of ours.

I'd love to be Dona edam rather than Ms Edam (no idea how to do one of those symbols over the 'n').

Can you not get her a Spanish passport in her full name?

I always think the Spanish system referencing both parents is so lovely. Shame it doesn't work over here!

I like it too. British officials, especially the passport office are awful. Effectively, dd has a different name on her passport than her birth certificate, and if you ever need to apply for a bank account in Spain, you'll understand what a BITCH that's going to be for her when she gets older.

I've always thought the Spanish naming system was very good, so am sorry to hear officialdom in the UK is so useless.

Don't understand the hostility to the OP. It's not that unheard of. Did none of you read Laura Ingalls Wilder when you were little? Or were you so confused you couldn't find her books in the library? Have you never come across John Cooper Clarke?

I was going to give ds both our surnames but dh backed out at the last minute, insisting he didn't like his name and would rather ds had one (but was equally insistent about giving ds two middle names).

WE have this problem because DH is Spanish. In Spain, the child gets, and passes down, the father's name and then the mother's name is on the end.

Even though we put both names in the surname bit on the form she always get called by my surname alone. This makes DH very sad, as effectively, he and his traditions are written out of her name.

Neither can we hyphenate as this would make it a completely different name in Spain (ie. one surname and no mother's name to their eye).

It's an intractable situation.

Pookie, the poor thing!!!

(Btw, we did give our ds my grandmother's maiden name as his middle name, but it is definitely a middle name, and just wanted to do it really in remembrance of my Gran and her father, whose money we used to buy our house!).

Actually, having read the thread title again, I think you're being incredibly disingenuous. Why on earth wouldn't there be confusion? You're going against all the conventions that exist! (Not saying that you're wrong to want to do what you have done, btw - but your execution of it could be more sympathetic to the way we deal with names)

Merry, isn't there an aristo/actress called Isabella Anstrutter-Gough-Calthorpe.

Which did you put first out of curiosity? The father's or the mother's?

Do you imagine that when your ds gets married, his spouse will take both his surnames? If not, which one? What if she wants to use her surname? How many surnames will his kids have?!! And what about the poor kid writing his name when he is 5? Please don't tell me his first name is long and hard to spell as well!

I am the last with my surname too. But hey, that is life, things change and move on.

My mum and aunt both have my granny's maiden name as a middle name (no hyphen) never an issue with anyone.