Two surnames - why the confusion?

I didn’t hyphenate my DC’s surnames and their new school automatically goes by the last of the two surnames which is my exH’s . I didn’t ask for that and both surnames are clearly on all forms but they keep choosing purely to use the latter.

I don’t know why it causes so much confusion either, it’s pretty easy to understand someone having two surnames without the need for a hyphen.

On the other hand, as someone who lived in Spain I can confirm they are equally rigid with bureaucracy. It might have got better since I lived there, but I had lengthy arguments with the woman in my local bank. She insisted on knowing my "segundo apellido" - second surname - and simply would not accept I didn't have one, despite what was clearly stated on my passport.

In Spain people do have two surnames but in everyday use just use the first one - like Antonio Banderas, Penelope Cruz. Their second surname will be on everything official though. The only Spaniards I've known who use both surnames do so because their names are very common. You could easily have several people called Pedro Garcia in one company, so using Pedro Garcia Fernandez identifies you.

And of course you have the possibility of having two surnames the same. One of my best friends over there was Inma Extebarria Extebarria.

When they're not hyphenated it's more ambiguous as it's fairly common to give the mothers surname/maiden name as a middle name, and lots of first names nowadays reassemble surnames. So I can understand the confusion.

Having said that my surname is hypehnated and that doesn't eliminate these problems. As a pp said not all computer systems (especially abroad) are set up for hyphens, and for anything organised in alphabetical order it seems utterly random which name is used. I often receive official letters with only one of my two surnames.

Camilla Parker Bowles

When we got married we both took both names (hyphenated) there's been no confusion, DS will also have the same, I think the confusion comes when there are different names for parents and child, NHS assume it will be the same as mum at least

Not strange to me - in Scotland double surnames have been common for a long time - never used to be hyphenated, and it was considered to be very English/French to use a hyphen.

Deed Poll and Wikipedia say the hyphen is optional and Wiki points out David Lloyd George, Ralph Vaughan Williams, Kristin Scott Thomas and others as examples. It’s fine - just a non-hyphenated double barrelled surname.

10 year old thread people

We’re not married, and neither of us would change our names even if we were so our son has both. His first, then mine, not hyphenated.

Personally, I don’t think it requires that much adjustment to accept that somebody has two surnames. I don’t mind correcting people until they get used to it. I think it’s ridiculous to expect either parent to have to give up a name too!

I actually really regret doing it! People just dont understand two separate surnames at all! Dad gets upset if just my surname is used. Its caused me hassle so far in life tbh and i can only see it getting worse in future for my son :-s Even a matter as simple as the register in school - would that be done by first surname or second? If a child has two?!

I wasnt with my sons father when i gave birth and had such a dilema over surname. In the end i decided to give my childboth my surname and his dads (dads 1st) - now my child has just started school i regret this decision purely for the nightmare of trying to to write it all out! Its abit of a mouthful especially as he has a middle name too. School have randomly stuck a hyphen in there even though iv not done this on any form and written them separately.

Alot of people if they know my name... just assume my sons name is the same and the other two are middle names!

My ds has both surnames, no hyphen. Mine first then his fathers. I wanted my name in there as there are no boys in my family at all and the name will die out without it (it's quite an unusual foreign name) and DHs name is second as my FIL would have had a full on melt down if we hadn't put it in!

Edam, how weird to pick over my post. The OP is trying to pre-empt the difficulties of having two sur names in a country where the norm is to have one sur name.

Tt stands to reason that if you use two sur names, some people will drop one. They will regard either the first or the second as being the actual sur name. On forms and registers and so on.

If my mother were Spanish and I used the sur name Gillespie Rodríguez growing up, then a lot of people would drop the Gillespie, thinking it was just a middle name, when in fact, according to the legal norms of this country, Gillespie, being my father's name, it would be my primary sur name.

It's not a question of misogyny or being suspicious . Anybody who veres even slightly from the norm is going to encounter some confusion.

ah done it

Mine would be EVANS LEES

DS WOULD BE OLLEY EVANS

ARGH HOW DO I GET STICKY KEYS OFF?

Thanks

Yup Maria married John Smith
that last name is lovely though

will try and work out what my old fashioned Spanish surname would be

deffinately doesn't sound nearly as nice

Maria smith grazia
juan smith grazia
Assuming Smith was the dads surname, that is

On marriage, you don't change your name, although you could add de Smith if you wanted to
and become Maria Grazia Hello de Smith although I think this is quite old fashioned now, it is still an option

Oh of course you drop the Mothers
MrsR please can I ask you to look at my question earlier

I just picked random words. I don't think anyone would want to be called Maria Dog Water lol.

That's right, NA

I think xxx Verde Agua

(Your Spanish is good)

So Maria Perro Agua and Juan Verde Azul have children. They would be called XXXX Verde Perro?

Dad's surname goes first, mum's last.
In our culture you would just drop the last name

Oh yeay
who is John Cooper Clark?

Yes come on Spanish people come back and tell us how it works.
Please