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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

'Trying-too-hard names' - should we really mind about them - or not?

37 replies

LadyThompson · 19/08/2008 15:42

People get a bit narky about names which they see as upwardly mobile or trying-too-hard, I've noticed. Perhaps not everyone who wants to call their kids Edwin or Clarissa or Milo or Artemis (or whatever, not criticising these names, before you flame me) is trying to be determinedly pretentious. Or are they?

I've chosen a slightly poncetastic (but not ridiculous) name for my DD - not that I give a monkey's what anyone thinks, I just happen to love the name. Jane is a nice name imo (for instance) but I don't want to call my DD that or something like it, because I always wanted a more interesting name when I was a kid, and I know what that feels like.

So...what's the consensus?

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hw2004 · 21/08/2008 19:24

i totally agree with the point that on this site in particular it is very, very hard to find a name that is not 'too poncey', 'too chav' or 'too boring'. Having said that if you ask for opinions then that is what you have to expect to get.

IMHO the middle classes/upper middle classes have quite traditional classic names.

EachPeachPearMum · 21/08/2008 13:42

Unless you do actually live in 'the big house' of course.

moondog · 20/08/2008 06:46

I don't mean that people have ideas 'above their station'. Heavens, not at all. I actually see it as the opposite. Giving 'posh' names is sign of forelock tugging (metaphorically speaking.) Tantamount to saying 'We want to be like them grand folk in t' big 'ouse.'

Bollocs to that.

HappypillsGalore · 19/08/2008 21:38

i agree with pruners, in that some names seem 'limiting' somehow and that seems a bit mean.

but for everything else, who the hell cares? i certainly dont. and even if i find a childs name not to my taste (as in i wouldnt use it myself) it doesnt occur to me for a second to deem it to be crap in some way. i kind of like the way we all have differing tastes

when i was a kid, i wanted to call my kids names like dragonwagon and harley davidson and purple ronnie. luckily (i think now) i didnt have kids young . my kids now have names i would have considered odd then... but i like em. now.

like cd says, its all subjective, innit?

CountessDracula · 19/08/2008 18:41

But what is poncey is so subjective
I don't see how one name can be thought of as poncey by everyone

Most of the very posh people I know have very ordinary first names.

We chose dd's name because we thought it was a sweet name and that it would suit a child and a woman both. Didn't partic. consider anything else.

peanutbutterkid · 19/08/2008 18:35

I assume people choose names because they like them, not because they aspire to anything.

Original poster
LadyThompson · 19/08/2008 18:18

Well...I don't really like made-y uppy names either, or odd spellings for the sake of it. But if you suggest a name like, say, Arabella or a rarer flower name, you do get shot down in flames on here, even if you just like the way it looks or sounds. ho hum.

I knew a girl called Terilyn, and it was because her parents were called Terry and Lyn...and I felt sorry for all of them really, because she'd got a naff name, which embarrassed her, and her parents really thought they'd created a beautiful one and thought it was beautiful and unique...

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ForeverOptimistic · 19/08/2008 18:14

Ds's name has been on the "chav" thread before. You can't win someone will always think the name you choose is:

A Chav
B Poncey or
C Boring.

People need to stop thinking so much!

Weegiemum · 19/08/2008 18:14

One person's posh is another person's common.

Like I would think Toby is very posh but Rory is just normal. But other folk think Rory is posh.

So there's no oint in getting wound up about it.

ForeverOptimistic · 19/08/2008 18:11

Edwin is on my list. I don't have ideas above my station, I have always liked Ed but not keen on Edward. I don't consider it to be "posh" I think it is along the same ilk as Toby or Rory. that the names we give our children are over analysed, I just choose names that I like the sound of.

Weegiemum · 19/08/2008 18:02

When I think someone is trying too hard, its not that they are trying to have ideas above their station, rather that they are trying to hard to be different, with a weird made-up sounding name or a strange spelling or a word that is not a name.

I don't actually care if people do that. But they are asking for advice, and therefore if I have an opinion I'll give it. Nicely as I can, mostly

Pruners · 19/08/2008 17:55

Message withdrawn

Original poster
LadyThompson · 19/08/2008 17:53

Hellebores - I think (going back to Roman times, maybe even before!) parents have always tried to give their kids names which will imbue them with the very things you suggest!

I think I have got a slight bee in my bonnet about aspiration - for instance, my Granny, who passed her 11+, wasn't allowed to go to grammar school as her parents thought she'd got ideas above her station so whenever people are mocked for this, I guess I always think - hmmmmm.....

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hellebores · 19/08/2008 17:49

It's a good question Pruners - I have no way of judging whether a choice of name is unsuitably highly aspirational because I don't know who's asking - in RL it would be easier. I am just naturally snooty about names and love to give my not so humble opinion about it.

What's wrong with aspiring anyway you ask? As a socialist - I say there's nothing wrong with that - but high-fashion-conscious names are just infra dig to me. As I say - it does rather bring out the nasty side in me..

Also - are we not sometimes guilty these days of giving our children names which we think will somehow endow them with beauty, popularity, strength, style etc (modern values - shallow ones?) - this is what narks me most.

Maybe this is a reaction to all the ugly names our parents gave us?

BigBadMousey · 19/08/2008 16:27

Pruners - no rush, just wanted to make sure it arrived before I binned the proof of posting

Original poster
LadyThompson · 19/08/2008 16:27

Yeah, you're probably right, Cyteen. Hyphenated first names seem to get a bit of a going over on the Baby Names threads these days.

OP posts:
TenaciousG · 19/08/2008 16:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cyteen · 19/08/2008 16:22

I would say that people get equally aerated over 'chav' names as 'poncy' names, on this board at least. Middle class, middle way

Original poster
LadyThompson · 19/08/2008 16:22

Hijacks always make me laugh, they are like the equivalent of tumbleweed across the thread! Ah well, it was just a thought I had...

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Pruners · 19/08/2008 16:21

Message withdrawn

BigBadMousey · 19/08/2008 16:17
  • Pruners - did you get your birthing ball OK?
Original poster
LadyThompson · 19/08/2008 16:14

And what's wrong with being aspirational? Is it so wrong? Or should we know our place, like Baldrick in Blackadder

OP posts:
Pruners · 19/08/2008 16:12

Message withdrawn

TotalChaos · 19/08/2008 16:11

couldn't give a flying feck

Original poster
LadyThompson · 19/08/2008 16:10

Why so cross Swiftyknickers? Cos I don't care what anyone's kids are called. I just proffer an opinion on here because people normally ask for one. Was just wondering why people get QUITE so riled by poncy names, more so than other names.

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