How do diminutives work in everyday life?

Both my children have long names with common diminutives. One chooses her full name most of the time but doesn’t mind if it’s shortened. As she’s got older she goes by the shorter one.

My youngest’s name naturally got shortened from Christopher to ‘Chrissy’ which is what all his friends call him.

My diminutive is an uncommon one for my actual name. I chose to change it when I was in my late 30's. I only use my "proper" name for official things as I didn't want to go through the hassle of changing it formally. Most people don't know my actual name. The only person who uses it is my dad privately but he refers to me as my diminutive to other people.

Husband and I both use diminutives of our given names, in our professional lives as well as everywhere else. Only two people use my full name, my mum because she gave it to me and my sister because she doesn’t feel I should be allowed to choose anything different. I’m sure she knows it bothers me and that’s why she does it. My dad and my brother swapped without problem.

I don't find that. Most of the people I know go by the full version or they go by the diminutive.

I've sometimes been corrected by a David, Stephen, or Joanna when I've accidentally shortened their name, and by Lin, Nic, or Pete who don't like being called the full version.

@KellsBelk , I go by the diminutive. Work profile, cv etc are in the name "Mia Kulper" but my full name might be Mariana Louise Kulper.

I don’t know, but the existence of diminutives complicates things. People aren’t able to want to be called their full name at all times without being labelled as difficult or precious. It’s ridiculous.

This. It's only on Mn that parents--to-be bob up with odd questions like 'What could Baz be a diminutive for? Or 'If I want to call my child Fee, should I put Fiona or Phoebe or Josephine on the birth cert?'

You don't know anyone who uses a diminutive name?? No Joe, Will, Matt, Rob, Tom, Theo, Nate? Kate, Liz, Becky, Sue, Jan? None of them?

My only gripe with using my diminutive is that it starts with a different letter to my full name (which only my family use). My email adress at work is always the inital of my full name, but everyone knows me by my short name. People have emailed the wrong address on more than one occasion.

I wish I had picked a different short form.

Their full name would be used, obviously.

"wasn’t even his middle name, there was some long story re why he’d got the nickname in the Army".

The armed forces and emergency services are a weird and wonderful law unto themselves with nicknames.

This is an occasional problem for DH because his parents gave him a common diminutive as his full name (so, for example, Alex is his legal name). It causes problems because sometimes other people just assume he must be Alexander and put that for something more official, which then doesn't match his ID.

I use my full name for emails and suchlike but introduce myself using my diminutive as otherwise people will call me by my full name, or even worse, by a different diminutive.

DS is only ever called by the diminutive of his name, actually took a while to convince him that the full version is his real name, and most of the time when I'm writing his name for e.g. signing up for clubs I use the diminutive. Its also the name teachers call him by.

Another thing about using diminutives is other people deciding it is not "proper enough" and calling you by the long version when you've introduced yourself as the short version. If I've introduced myself as x you should call me x not y.

Worse still is where they actually get it wrong. I know a Ben who gets called Benjamin but he's actually Benedict and a Mandy who gets called Amanda when she's actually Miranda (but hates it). So there's also the issue with know-it-alls who think they know better than you what your "real name" is.

This Op.

And to be honest, it is only on MN that I find people who are not totally au fait with the concept of dropping naturally in and out between Nick and Nicholas, Ben and Benjamin, Sam and Samuel or Samantha.

At my school we had some teachers who would call Samantha "Sam," and some who didn't, and that was more about the style of teaching of the teacher than the request of the pupil. These days I rather expect parents and children are more assertive about stating what they will accept, but the general principle remains that normally people can absolutely understand what is going on and even very young children will answer happily to Olly or Oliver.

I don't know why there is such incredulity around this concept on MN and so many who will say "Just put the diminutive on the BC if that's what they will use."

I think it's rather nice to be able to be Alex to friends but Alexandra in a job interview or on your passport.

My partner’s name is similar in style to Jamesjerome (not hyphenated, no capital letter on the second name… I know…).
He introduces himself as “James”, people still shorten that to “Jay” for example.
Anything short of a legal document, he’ll sign off as “James”.
His family call him “Jamesjerome” or “JJ” and he hates it.

Yes I do recognise that and that's why I play the game. It still annoys me though that is other people who decide it doesn't have gravitas. Everyone's chosen name should be equally respected.

I’d say we have a mix at work, some have their diminutive as their email and others go by it but have their full name on emails and official systems e.g. my friend Liz is always Liz, never heard anyone call her Elizabeth and she’d never introduce herself as anything but Liz but she’s Elizabeth on the system and email. It’s probably just the default setting when they register new accounts for people joining.

Don't assume your child will want to be called a shortened version of their name. My daughter has a name that has several diminutives, but prefers her full name and everyone calls her that.

I hate the idea that if I was murdered or something, they would use my full name in the papers!

I'm all over the place with my name haha
At work I am Samantha, always full name. Most of my non work friends call me Sam. I was out with a colleague recently and bumped into a non work friend who said "hey Sam" and my colleague was like nooooo you don't look like a Sam!!
Then there is a small group of people who call me Sammi (started as a joke, kinda stuck, now thats my name in that group!)
I introduce myself as Sam, unless in a work context. But I actually really like Sammi so thats also my Starbucks name as it makes me happy when someone calls it out!

It’s a bit grim, but this thread has me wondering which name would be used in court if someone were arrested.

You just must know someone who is a Tom, Becky, Matt, Chris, Pam, Liz, Mike, Tim, Sam, Vicky etc. It’s so common.

People will just use the name they want to be called. I use my interchangeably, depending on who I’m speaking to.

I use a diminutive and hate to be called the full name. I only use it at the doctors etc

I expect they will just use whatever they prefer to be called

I introduce myself with my diminutive unless it's a professional situation (also a solicitor). My work email has my full name in my details but I'll sign off with my diminutive on internal emails.

Personal emails it depends on how formal I want to be.