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Baby names

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Original poster

Partner now insists baby names must begin with A after our agreement

133 replies

campalotst · 24/07/2026 18:02

DP name begins with an A, as does his two sibling. His parents did it on purpose and they all have matching tattoos of As in a circle. The parents names start with different letters.

DP has said for quite a few years he would like his child's name beginning with an A.

I wanted to keep my surname and DP wanted me to take his. My babies names are so important to me, I have had a list on my phone for years. So we compromised and I take his as do our kids if I get to pick the babies first names with consideration of his opinions (not a name he hates). He agreed.

Now I've taking his surname he's saying the name I pick must begin with an A.

But I have my lists and not a single one on boys or girls is an A name. How do we resolve this?

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Gleba · 24/07/2026 18:42

Can't you give your children your surname?

Puley · 24/07/2026 18:40

Why on earth did you take his name? Why does he care if you have his surname?

RominaDina · 24/07/2026 18:40

SwedishEdith · 24/07/2026 18:27

"all have matching tattoos of As in a circle". What, like an anarchy sign?

Yes, that was my question!
OP, are they part of an anarchy cell, does your partner want them to be part of this too?.

Macbethanie · 24/07/2026 18:38

Choose a name that starts with a number. Everybody wins!

Error404FucksNotFound · 24/07/2026 18:38

So he's has given you two choices, you can do it his way or you can do it his way.

I would go back to my old name and tell him he doesnt get to dictate everything.
He can either have an A name with your surname or your choice of first name with his surname and if its an A name it will be a happy coincidence.

LuckyCharmz · 24/07/2026 18:35

Keep your surname then and make sure the baby has the same, he’s the one benefitting from all these ‘compromises ’.

NuffSaidSam · 24/07/2026 18:29

Could you give me the child an A first name but always call them by their middle name, which is the name you actually like. This is common practice on families where it's tradition for all first born boys to be called the same name i.e. they'll all be registered as John but will actually be called all different names day to day.

Any1ForTennis · 24/07/2026 18:28

I wouldn't back down on this, matchy matchy names are so tacky.

SwedishEdith · 24/07/2026 18:27

"all have matching tattoos of As in a circle". What, like an anarchy sign?

Ponderingwindow · 24/07/2026 18:25

We used my surname, so DH got his family tradition on the middle name. If we had gone with his surname, we would have used something from my family in the first or middle.

He already got the surname. He doesn’t get to carry on this tradition.

lowamhsuccess · 24/07/2026 18:23

campalotst · 24/07/2026 18:07

No he's not a bully he just thought the agreement included the letter A as he has mentioned that for years.

I care way more about my kids first names than my last name

Look, OP, he didn’t think that. He really didn’t. Because that wouldn’t have been a deal, would it? That would have been you agreeing to what he wanted on both the first and surnames. Too many of us on here have been around and dealt with this nonsense from men for far too long to fall for it.

You made a deal. In the first instance, he got what he wanted with the surname. He waited it out til the next phase of the deal (pregnancy) and now conveniently ‘thought’ you also agreed to a first name beginning with A. Why would he think that? You objected to that at the time because you have had a long-term list of names that don’t start with A. You had this conversation with him back then. Presumably?

As others have said, it’s incredibly simple. Tell him he can have A if you revert to your previous name and give the child that surname. Sure, there’ll be pushback, but holding a basic boundary is completely reasonable.

NarnianQueen · 24/07/2026 18:21

So he totally moved the goalposts and lied? “You can pick the names as long as they have my surname?”
then
”oh I thought you knew I meant all the names you pick have to start with A?”

Nope. End this stupid tradition now.

Glendaruel · 24/07/2026 18:20

Your child is the next generation so can have a name beginning with B?

sittingonabeach · 24/07/2026 18:18

Rhaidimiddim · 24/07/2026 18:16

Don't have kids with him?

Show quote history

Think that ship may have sailed

HelenHywater · 24/07/2026 18:16

Just say no repeatedly. He can't force you to use any name. He sounds awful tbh.

Rhaidimiddim · 24/07/2026 18:16

campalotst · 24/07/2026 18:02

DP name begins with an A, as does his two sibling. His parents did it on purpose and they all have matching tattoos of As in a circle. The parents names start with different letters.

DP has said for quite a few years he would like his child's name beginning with an A.

I wanted to keep my surname and DP wanted me to take his. My babies names are so important to me, I have had a list on my phone for years. So we compromised and I take his as do our kids if I get to pick the babies first names with consideration of his opinions (not a name he hates). He agreed.

Now I've taking his surname he's saying the name I pick must begin with an A.

But I have my lists and not a single one on boys or girls is an A name. How do we resolve this?

Don't have kids with him?

lowamhsuccess · 24/07/2026 18:16

CrypticClueless · 24/07/2026 18:09

Tell him you are naming the child Arsehole after him…

Or, choose an A name but keep your own surname and give your child your surname.

Are you already pregnant? Child born?

🤣🤣🤣

VIII · 24/07/2026 18:13

He sounds like a bully to me. You can't compromise with someone who doesn't want to compromise so I would be considering if this is someone I wanted to bring a child up with for the next 18 years.

sittingonabeach · 24/07/2026 18:13

Are you married?

Octavia64 · 24/07/2026 18:11

campalotst · 24/07/2026 18:07

No he's not a bully he just thought the agreement included the letter A as he has mentioned that for years.

I care way more about my kids first names than my last name

Yes, but he probably cares more about the last name.

change it back.

Jerrybalanitis · 24/07/2026 18:11

CrypticClueless · 24/07/2026 18:09

Tell him you are naming the child Arsehole after him…

Or, choose an A name but keep your own surname and give your child your surname.

Are you already pregnant? Child born?

Best response ever! Thank you for making me laugh ❤️

Original poster
campalotst · 24/07/2026 18:10

early pregnancy. It's just a shame that we both care so much about this

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 24/07/2026 18:10

First, consider whether having a child with him is wise.

If it's too late for that you tell him that you'll be changing your name back and any future children can either have your name or be double barrelled.

Then tell him that any first name needs to be something you both like and that won't necessarily begin with an A.

CrypticClueless · 24/07/2026 18:09

Tell him you are naming the child Arsehole after him…

Or, choose an A name but keep your own surname and give your child your surname.

Are you already pregnant? Child born?

Jerrybalanitis · 24/07/2026 18:09

If it's not too late, find someone else to have babies with. The name will be the least of your woes.

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