Partner now insists baby names must begin with A after our agreement

who in their right mind wants names with matching initials

There only seems to be @SD1978 & @AgnesMcDoo being adult & reasonable!
My husband wanted our child to have his initial too, like his children from a previous marriage.. no biggie, it was important to him, we just found a name we both liked with that initial..

Your husband is being ridiculous. What a stupid tradition.

What if you call your child Alexander (for example), and the kid decides he wants to be Sandy? I know an Alicia who goes by Lissa.

What if baby A grows up and falls in love with someone whose family tradition is that all names have to start with a T?

You compromised already. It’s his turn. Be very very careful he doesn’t register the birth without you, and choose the name he wants.

No partner EVER gets to 'insist' on anything that affects both of you (and the third party, your child). What if he 'insisted' your child was called Balonz or Mr Softee? Just because his parents were bonkers, doesn't mean you have to go along with it.

ok he's being unfair but I don't think insisting it has to be a name you have through all your previous exes and childhood is fair either.

the matters to you both.

make your own choices about your personal name and then you need to talk and compromise on the baby's name.

double barrel the surname and write new lists of names you like.

if neither of you will compromise on a name, it's going to be a short lived relationship.

Have you read the book “the names”…?

Of course he’s a bully.

And of course he didn’t make the agreement with you assuming that you knew he meant A names. He just couldn’t care less about what you want.

I’d definitely use your own maiden name for the baby.

How ridiculous! Will you just have to keep using A names for all your kids and then their kids as well 🤣 a man like this would drive me barmy.
You're the one growing this child. Put your foot down and say no

Revert to hour maiden name. Then give the child your surname. If he's being a dick id register the child alone. However, thats relationship ending. Your joint child isnt an extension on him and his siblings. His parents picked what they wanted. Its your turn now to pick what you both want as parents.

Just curious, do his siblings have kids and are they "A" names, or do they plan on continuing it also?

Could you do middle names?

He can get another bloody tattoo if he's that bothered

OP did compromise, OP took husband’s surname on the understanding that she would choose the kids first names. Now her “D”H has decided that it has to be his way again. The only one not willing to compromise is him.

You are two grown ups making a baby together.

You need to find a way to compromise with each other or it’s going to be a long 18 years of parenting and the decisions don’t get any easier

It sounds like your wishes don't count at all OP ...don't inflict this on children

The OP already compromised by saying she and the children would have his surname and she could choose the first name. How would taking his surname and choosing a name beginning with A be a compromise?

She has a list of names she likes the deal they agreed means she can and should pick one of those.

I think it’s unfair to immediately label him a bully. Can you try and go through some A names together? Because as it stands, he is adamant they should start with A and you are adamant that they won’t and only your name choices will be considered, neither of you seem to want to compromise, and you both had to be there to make the baby. Can you maybe look at another letter if the theme is what he likes?

My first husband had one of these stupid naming traditions.

I divorced him for unrelated reasons and his new girlfriend was daft enough to go along with it when she had his baby.

Still feel sorry for her and he’s been dead ten years.

I got bullied into giving my kids my ex’s surname and I regret it immensely. (Also annoyed I caved on my daughter’s first name, which nobody can pronounce properly and she doesn’t even like much and insists on using a nickname instead.)

Don’t let him dictate. You didn’t agree to this stupid family “tradition” that is only one generation long anyway.

I hate when people start these naming traditions that someone marrying into the family is expected to accept. Why should someone be expected to name their firstborn son William (for example) when they don't even like that name? Why should someone be expected to only consider A names (for example) for their children when they have no specific connection or attachment to that initial?

I don't know why people (usually women) just mindlessly agree to it like they have no say. Grow a spine.

He seems to care about patriarchal traditions: he wants you and his kids to have his surname.
He wants his kids’ names to perpetuate the pattern of him and his brothers, from his side of the family.

This is about power and ownership and he is trying to go back on the deal you made. No, he didn’t think you meant an A name, because that wouldn’t have been a deal 🙄.

Meanwhile you have been willing to make compromises, and changing your name is a big deal!
And you have favourite names that you love for their own sake and feel emotional about.

You say he has said for some years that he would like his kids to have A names. Did you tell him you have had lists on your phone etc?

Ask him which he would prefer more, his surname or a first name beginning with A.
He only gets one.
If he goes for first name then give the child a middle name that you like and call them that.

No he didnt 🙄 He just wants everything his way.

Just say ‘what, like the Kardashians? Didn’t think you were serious…’