Partner now insists baby names must begin with A after our agreement

It's so tacky. Stay firm OP, it's your child's name not your DHs proof of ownership.

Imagine Christmas round the in-laws.
Alan pass Alex the quality street that Annie bought for Alfie. April, do you and Ashley want a mince pie?

Uuurrrgghhh.

You resolve it by standing your ground.

1. You keep your surname as do the children and he gets his A name.

2. He picks from your list and you & the little 'un take his surname.

What's his pleasure?

A better compromise is she names their first child and if he throws a tantrum she decides not to have a second.

Say no that was not the deal I compromised and you agreed to me choosing baby’s names. I’m choosing the name.
That was his parents tradition this is a new family time for new traditions.
I agree I would also change your name back, if your not married and in uk only you can register the baby anyway you can go on your own and call the baby whatever you want to.

I hate the idea of feeling pressured to name a child based on tradition. It would drive me barmy and I wouldn’t have done it. The name should be chosen because you both love it, not because somebody 20 or 50 or 100 years ago started a tradition and now everybody meekly follows it forever. I think your DH is wrong to think you should follow this.

A compromise is he names first child you name second

Don’t have kids with someone so ridiculous and controlling
an “A” tattoo in a circle ⭕️- classy……..

He thought the agreement was that everyone would take his surname and and that all kids would have an A name? Tell him that's absolutely not the agreement and also tell him that everyone having the same initials is a tacky af tradition.

Couldn't be me 🤷‍♀️

Evil-Dead
Belial-Beelzebub
I am intrigued

If you’ve carried and birthed a baby then you’re the one that gets the privilege of naming. You earned it. End of. Your OH can have his preferences but that’s all they are.

I (very begrudgingly) took my DH’s name as a nod to his family traditions, but there was no way our DC’s were being named by anyone except me.

If you don’t like it that’s fine but sometimes tradition can be nice. Like my fiancé, the males in his family all start with a letter and we spoke about it and I think if we have a son then his name will start with that letter. It’s a sweet tradition going back to his great grandfather and I plan to keep it .

yes it will make a difference if your married or not.

If unmarried - you, and only you, can register the birth and choose the names for the birth certificate. If married he has the right to register the birth WITHOUT YOU PRESENT and so can choose whichever names he likes.

It's hard to believe he really misunderstood the agreement to the extent he's now claiming; if he thought to put in the caveat that he had right of refusal over the name ("not a name he hates") then would he not logically have mentioned that it must be an A name? That's a HUGE abridgement of what was supposed to be your choice since it's made 96% of the alphabet off limits for first initials. I would go ahead and propose the names you like regardless of which letter they start with.

Also, and I know this is not what you asked, the whole thing seems skewed in favour of what he wants at your expense. Whether to keep or change your last name should have been your choice and the children's first and middle names a choice shared equally between you.

Bullshit, he's trying to pull a fast one so he can have control over both your last name and the kids first and last name!

Are you married?

You didn't reply to the question - are you married ?

If not and i guess not otherwise surely you would refer to him as dh

then it is you who registers the baby's birth thus you get to register the name.

It's time his parents silly habit was ended.

Are you married to my friend’s twat of an ex? He has kids with 2 women from actual relationships, and has also set himself up as an unofficial sperm donor too. Kids are all named with his initial, which rather interestingly is A.

Whatever name you agree on you both have to like it. Both make a list of names you like then see if any name is on both lists. If not take turns of crossing out a name of partners list you most dislike until only 2 names left then one as first name and one as middle name. Goss a coin to determine order if you can agree. The problem with your partner is if you agree A name for this baby he'll expect the same for second baby and that is not fair.

It’s not even a tradition it’s just his generation, his parents names are different. Total weirdo behaviour.

🤣🤣

He sounds sexist and awful.
Why don’t you double barrel your child’s surname surely that would be the logical conclusion. Or seeing as though you aren’t married, give your child your name?
As for him getting the final say on your child’s name, no just no.
You have to be very careful with names starting it A you don’t want it to sound silly. I’m assuming neither of you have a surname which is a noun.
Either way he sounds like a bullying prick.

Sorry, your follow up posts say DH.

Have you yourself changed your surname?

Unless you’re getting married soon it was a poor decision to agree to DC having DP’s surname. Agree with PPs to go back on that and give DC your surname.

DP pushing for an A name is for a silly reason and unreasonable.

If DP likes none of your preferred names it’d be best to look for one(s) you both like. If however he refuses all but A names would use the name(s) of your choice.

Go back on your agreement.

The child has your surname and you both need to love the first name.

You also seriously need to examine all A names to be sure that some are not really attractive to you. Don't be stubbon for stubbon sake. But don't agree to a name you dislike.

Would your DP agree to choosing a (non official) nick name beginning with A? Angelface, Astroboy.....