Partner now insists baby names must begin with A after our agreement

If you want to compromise because you’ve said you prefer his surname anyway you could do a hyphenated first name with the first or second beginning with A?
ie Ava-Louise (if Louise was on your name list) or Daisy-Anna (if Daisy was on there).
I chose the first name of our first as my DH carried on the tradition of having the same middle names as his Dad, Grandad and Great Grandad, that was our agreement.
It was important to him and because they were middle names rather than the first one despite me not particularly liking them as very old fashioned, I didn’t have a problem with them.
I named our second one, first and middle names and then we jointly named our last one.
There is no point picking a name you hate because it starts with the correct letter, I would suggest to him that you wait until baby is here and see what they look like.

I don’t know what you’re worried about, OP, Anarchy is a lovely name 😂

I would also be worried about your DC being pressured into getting a shitty tattoo that they do not want (who wants their own initial tattooed on them?). If you break the tradition, you remove that risk.

I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt based on your posts that he genuinely misunderstood (I am VERY doubtful). Well, he misunderstood and now you have clarified the situation. He got the surname so you get the first names, and they will NOT be starting with A. He is unreasonable.

Why have you taken on the surname of a man you are not married to? If you want to be married, get married, but don't create the illusion of marriage for a man who hasn't married you. My DS1 was born before we married, I insisted that since I carried and birthed him that he would have my surname. It was a complete non issue for DH and it was very easy to change DS's name once we were married.

How sad that your DP and family might see your child as an outsider just because they have a different initial.

Since you are not married, if he won't sensibly agree to a name with you, you can take baby to the registery office alone and name them what you like.

As someone who has the same initial as their sibling, I hated it. It was really annoying when post arrived just addressed using the initial and surname. Anyway, I made sure my two DC did not have the same initials.

Dont do that, its annoying when people dont go by their real name when they use any kind of public services

Fuck that!

My baby my rules! (with DH input)

He's having you on when he's saying he thought the deal was an A name. He knows full well it didn't

Bullshit he genuinely thought baby gets my name, and any first name you like.. as long as it starts with a. Just bullshit.

Is he quite arrogant, thinking his second name is better than yours and that this child should also have a version of his first name too. The horse has bolted but I would never marry a man who insisted I change my name.

Plus If dad wants his surname on kids so much he can marry you and get the protection marriage gives - If you break up

Excalty. It’s a nightmare having same initial

You can call the baby whatever you like. You can register the baby and its name with no input from him. The ball is in your court. If he wants to be on the birth certificate and attend the registration with you, it's in your gift. It's he who should be making the compromises here.
As it is, he wants the baby with his choice of surname and first name. He wants you to take his surname too, but has he offered marriage and the protections for you that go with it, or this all just a sham? Why does he want you to have his surname?
Who owns the property you live in? Who will look after the baby? Whose career and earning capacity will be affected? These are all questions that you need to discuss, and you need to know whether you can trust him.

This post says it perfectly 👌

Is he your husband?

’Insist’ seems fair if he’s going back on a deal he made with you, and isn’t changing his mind.

Er, OP stuck to the deal, her partner changed the goalposts

Two of my DD's have the same initial. Not deliberate just happened to be names we liked and it really was a nightmare!

When the post came from school we used to have bets on who it was for/about! We were only sure on results day. Bank letters were fun!

Just say "thats a great idea, I will call him/her Arsehole, after daddy" fits perfectly with you're A sweetcheeks eh? 🤭🤗

Op which names do you like?

Sometimes there can be variants that could help make it work, eg Tony but he could be Antony on BC (I realise those names won't be the ones you want, but by way of example)

Same initials are a nightmare for post

Miss A Camp
A Camp

who opens it ? Annie Amy or Anthea or even Albert for the second one

They can have an A name as a middle name as a comprise.

THIS.

He really is a bully, OP.

He sounds like a controlling bully.