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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Is this a logical reason to change a baby’s name?

219 replies

MongerNoLonger · 27/06/2026 11:19

My DH is from Spain, so we decided to give our child a name that is common in Spain. The problem is that I’ve noticed that people intentionally try to avoid saying her name. I believe it is because they’re worried that they’re going to mispronounce it or feeling self-conscious that they’re going to sound strange whilst saying it (because it doesn’t sound as natural when said with an English accent). Even friends and family will call her the baby or little one instead of saying her actual name (whereas my nephews have always been referred to as their actual names).

She’s a few months old, and I think that it would be wise to change it now (before she becomes aware of her name). I really don’t want my child to endure a lifetime of people going to great lengths to avoid saying her name. Our first names are such a core part of our identity. What are your thoughts?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Glowingup · 29/06/2026 15:47

Tryagain26 · 29/06/2026 15:17

My grandchildren with Spanish names live in the UK. It has never been an issue because no one has ever made it an issue. Other children, teachers etc just use their names and accept them for who they are.
They have never had any problems fitting in because of their names.
Also if you look down the register in any classroom now there will be such a huge variety of names from many different cultures a Spanish name isn't an issue.

Depends on what the name is doesn’t it. Luca, Elena, Ana, Sofia etc not an issue and they are commonly used in the UK. Xiomara perhaps less so. I also wouldn’t name a boy Jesus or let a child of mine go through the British education system being called that due to the high chances of bullying.

NinjaCoffee · 29/06/2026 15:30

If you like the name I wouldn’t change it. My DD has a name that you can add an extra letter to and it’s basically a boys name - she gets called it all the time and she/we just correct people. I would help your family learn the name rather than change it!

Tryagain26 · 29/06/2026 15:17

Glowingup · 29/06/2026 08:28

Yeah but you’re talking about a child here who has to grow up in this country and will want nothing more that to fit in. Imagine that every time you say your name people are like “what?” or they avoid saying it altogether.

Sheila and Ian who move to the Costa del Sol as pensioners don’t give a shit about fitting in and can’t even be arsed to learn Spanish so that’s not comparable. You can’t compare a child being saddled with an unpronounceable name with someone moving to another country as an adult.

My grandchildren with Spanish names live in the UK. It has never been an issue because no one has ever made it an issue. Other children, teachers etc just use their names and accept them for who they are.
They have never had any problems fitting in because of their names.
Also if you look down the register in any classroom now there will be such a huge variety of names from many different cultures a Spanish name isn't an issue.

Tryagain26 · 29/06/2026 15:06

musicandmen · 29/06/2026 12:44

so my name is Joanne. The majority of people in my life call me Jo, although I occasionally get Jolene, Jojo. My grandad calls me Bee cos when I was little he used to say I was the queen the Bee of the family!! Bossy basically. I grow up my whole life knowing that official and on anything official- school work, exams, passport driving licence that would say Joanne. I introduce myself as Joanne and then say but everyone calls me Jo!
i thought that would just be the norm

In my experience that is normal too.

StationJack · 29/06/2026 14:55

@musicandmen , Not sure what your point is or the relevance of your post.

The suggestions put to OP are more like 'call Juanita Jo so it's easier for others'

musicandmen · 29/06/2026 14:10

youplonkerrodney · 29/06/2026 11:54

I go by my middle name and also have a nickname, and the way I get around it is just to use full name for everything official. Then at the point I’m developing a relationship (of any kind) with people, I let them know what to call me. It works well x

I’ve said the same, my name is Joanne, I will say my name is Joanne but most people call me Jo. There isn’t many Christopher’s being called Chris. Or Elizabeth’s not being shortened to Liz or any other variation of the name!!

StationJack · 29/06/2026 14:05

AWeeCupOfTeaAndAnIndividualFruitTrifle · 29/06/2026 13:51

From the PP who said that the Daily Mail (which you clearly and not unreasonably suggested was a downmarket publication) used the correct name; whereas the other countries' use their own versions.

Or were you suggesting that the DM is downmarket, but the Spanish equivalents are far more downmarket? I'm not very familiar with Spanish - so do the better-quality Spanish publications use the people's actual names, then, rather than their own versions?

I presume you aren't suggesting that British people tend to be instinctively better with foreign languages than the other way around?!!

What tabloid gossip pages call foreign royalty isn't worthy of such scrutiny.

MajorProcrastination · 29/06/2026 13:56

AWeeCupOfTeaAndAnIndividualFruitTrifle · 29/06/2026 13:43

I think it's completely different when you live in your country/community/culture where the name is familiar and makes sense, and you're helping 'outsiders'; but for people who have moved before their child is born and live somewhere else where nobody will know or be able to pronounce the name, it's not doing the child a kindness.

Who wants to feel they have to 'educate' or patronise people and give them pronunciation lessons and memory tips every time they meet a new person? Or even when it's somebody they know well, but who still can't fathom their name?

The truth is that, unless it's very close family or friends, most people will humour you, but they won't go to the trouble of learning to pronounce it - either because they just don't care (it's your name, not theirs) or because they don't see it as their problem that you have and use/insist on a name that isn't really designed to serve an instantly recognisable function as a name in your own culture/country. You can either constantly get angry about how people 'should' react to your/your parents' choice of name or just accept they way that they actually do.

I don't get angry. We have lots of friends and family who live outside of Wales who aren't familiar with the names or language, that's why I posted.

AWeeCupOfTeaAndAnIndividualFruitTrifle · 29/06/2026 13:51

StationJack · 29/06/2026 13:40

How on earth did you infer that?

From the PP who said that the Daily Mail (which you clearly and not unreasonably suggested was a downmarket publication) used the correct name; whereas the other countries' use their own versions.

Or were you suggesting that the DM is downmarket, but the Spanish equivalents are far more downmarket? I'm not very familiar with Spanish - so do the better-quality Spanish publications use the people's actual names, then, rather than their own versions?

I presume you aren't suggesting that British people tend to be instinctively better with foreign languages than the other way around?!!

StationJack · 29/06/2026 13:50

@Glowingup , you misinterpreted.

Glowingup · 29/06/2026 13:45

StationJack · 29/06/2026 13:40

How on earth did you infer that?

Because the reply suggested I was looking at the wrong reading material. I said that convention in Spain seems to be to use the Spanish version of a name. You said oh that’s just Royals. I pointed out that in this country we use the actual name, not the anglicised version. Your response was just that that I was reading the wrong thing and that you weren’t wrong.

AWeeCupOfTeaAndAnIndividualFruitTrifle · 29/06/2026 13:43

MajorProcrastination · 29/06/2026 11:00

My kids have Welsh names that people outside of Wales are unfamiliar with but once they're told they get it close enough. We're used to the misspellings and I totally get what you mean about identity, the names often create questions around meaning, where's the name from etc.

If it's a really long name I can kind of get the lack of confidence from people. It's odd that family haven't got it. I think you've got two choices - double down but give people a bit of info to help grow their confidence in the pronunciation. I pronounce my own name slightly differently if I'm speaking Welsh or English because of my accent. Can I suggest you do a little voice note or video for whatsapp family group chats "hey, we know some of you are struggling a bit with Ceridwen's name, it's ce-rid-wen with the emphasis on the second syllable. If you want to shorten it we've been calling her Weni, so wen-ee, it's a really important name to us because it means.... thanks so much, lots of love from Ceridwen and us".

Or "we've noticed that people are avoiding using Lleucu's name. We know it's unfamiliar to lots of you but we really love it and the meaning so if in doubt just remember it rhymes with "wakey" as in "wakey wakey Lleucu" and it's like Lake-eee but with the LL sound at the front. It's really important to us that she has a connection to our Welsh culture and identity and her beautiful name is part of that"

That kind of thing.

The more people who use the name, the more familiar it will become. My kids have had mates with all sorts of names. My youngest was saying yesterday that he only knows of 5 people with his name so they should make an exclusive club together (includes a guy who works at a local gallery, his sister's mate's brother, some guy off a Welsh tv show etc).

Or you change the name, which I think would be a huge shame.

I think it's completely different when you live in your country/community/culture where the name is familiar and makes sense, and you're helping 'outsiders'; but for people who have moved before their child is born and live somewhere else where nobody will know or be able to pronounce the name, it's not doing the child a kindness.

Who wants to feel they have to 'educate' or patronise people and give them pronunciation lessons and memory tips every time they meet a new person? Or even when it's somebody they know well, but who still can't fathom their name?

The truth is that, unless it's very close family or friends, most people will humour you, but they won't go to the trouble of learning to pronounce it - either because they just don't care (it's your name, not theirs) or because they don't see it as their problem that you have and use/insist on a name that isn't really designed to serve an instantly recognisable function as a name in your own culture/country. You can either constantly get angry about how people 'should' react to your/your parents' choice of name or just accept they way that they actually do.

StationJack · 29/06/2026 13:40

AWeeCupOfTeaAndAnIndividualFruitTrifle · 29/06/2026 13:33

Eh? So you believe that 'better' sources make up their own alternative versions of people's names, whilst the downmarket ones respectfully use their actual names?!

How on earth did you infer that?

AWeeCupOfTeaAndAnIndividualFruitTrifle · 29/06/2026 13:33

StationJack · 29/06/2026 11:06

Find better reading material.

Eh? So you believe that 'better' sources make up their own alternative versions of people's names, whilst the downmarket ones respectfully use their actual names?!

StationJack · 29/06/2026 13:26

@musicandmen , I don't think that's the norm.

ElleJayC · 29/06/2026 13:01

Personally I’d change it if it’s causing issues and is already giving you doubts, or I’d definitely give her an easier to pronounce nickname if it works.

My children were born in an Arabic speaking country with a mix of nationalities and we had the strangest combinations of very easy to pronounce English names. One was given a shortened version by the majority outside the English speaking population that he hated, and another ended up with his name sounding really quite unpleasant in that language. They all went to an English speaking school with a lot of westerners who obviously had no issues at all, and the long term plan was always to return to the UK, but I would have definitely reconsidered if the situation had been different for their sakes.

musicandmen · 29/06/2026 12:44

StationJack · 29/06/2026 11:49

@musicandmen , the being known as two names can be a problem.
If, for example, you are a Catherine known as Kate, you basically have two names so there will be occasions when documents don't match.
You could be Catherine Anne Smith, C A Smith, Kate Smith, K Smith ...

so my name is Joanne. The majority of people in my life call me Jo, although I occasionally get Jolene, Jojo. My grandad calls me Bee cos when I was little he used to say I was the queen the Bee of the family!! Bossy basically. I grow up my whole life knowing that official and on anything official- school work, exams, passport driving licence that would say Joanne. I introduce myself as Joanne and then say but everyone calls me Jo!
i thought that would just be the norm

StationJack · 29/06/2026 11:57

BunnyLake · 29/06/2026 11:48

All well and good saying that but people don’t have to say the name at all and could just avoid it, if it causes too much hesitation or self consciousness - if it’s a name than requires a bit of an accent or unfamiliar mouth feel.

Exactly. If it's your name, you get used to either your name not being used or to it being not quite right.

Can you imagine being in a situation where people use everybody else's first name but not yours or being called Lakey when your name is Lleucu?

(Lleucu is a lovely name but has at least 2 sounds you don't get in English and probably looks impossible if you've not seen it before).

youplonkerrodney · 29/06/2026 11:54

StationJack · 29/06/2026 11:49

@musicandmen , the being known as two names can be a problem.
If, for example, you are a Catherine known as Kate, you basically have two names so there will be occasions when documents don't match.
You could be Catherine Anne Smith, C A Smith, Kate Smith, K Smith ...

I go by my middle name and also have a nickname, and the way I get around it is just to use full name for everything official. Then at the point I’m developing a relationship (of any kind) with people, I let them know what to call me. It works well x

StationJack · 29/06/2026 11:49

@musicandmen , the being known as two names can be a problem.
If, for example, you are a Catherine known as Kate, you basically have two names so there will be occasions when documents don't match.
You could be Catherine Anne Smith, C A Smith, Kate Smith, K Smith ...

youplonkerrodney · 29/06/2026 11:49

Give her an English middle name. She can use her Spanish name in Spain and English name in the UK.

BunnyLake · 29/06/2026 11:48

ReyRey12 · 29/06/2026 10:13

I think peopel should just learn to say the name and you (and the child) should accept that people will kielly say it slightly wrong of there is a sound that is hard to say.

All well and good saying that but people don’t have to say the name at all and could just avoid it, if it causes too much hesitation or self consciousness - if it’s a name than requires a bit of an accent or unfamiliar mouth feel.

Jk987 · 29/06/2026 11:46

Use her middle name?

StationJack · 29/06/2026 11:43

Glowingup · 29/06/2026 11:10

Good response for when you’re wrong.

I wasn't "wrong". The convention in English is to use 'King Felipe of Spain'.

musicandmen · 29/06/2026 11:35

Glowingup · 29/06/2026 10:58

So many people are saying “don’t change the name, use a nickname”. You are in fact suggesting the name is changed but just not on official documents. That can cause even more headache than just officially changing the name.

How so? Teach the child there full registered name but call them a shorter/nickname most people do it.

Theodore - get Theo/teddy
Joseph gets Jo
Charlotte gets lottie
Kathryn -Katy

my son gets called buddy - he knows that’s not his name but it was nickname his grandad gave him and everyone started calling him it

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