Why are nicknames so expected now?

Someone I know purposely planned nicknames for her children. I do find it odd. She also commented on my children's names and said "but you can't shorten them" which I thought was bizarre! As if I was ridiculous to give my DC names that can't be shortened.

Whichever name you choose your child might end up with something totally different as a teenager! My husband changed his name legally as an adult as everyone at school called him a nickname that really suited him and it stuck. He hated his given name - it didn’t match his personality though his parents insisted on using it throughout his life. My son was called something totally different to his name at school - a nickname based on his surname - a practice in common with lots of his friends.

DD has a name that can't be shortened but some people will insist on calling her by the 1st syllable of her name. She hates it and a "that's not my name" usually does the trick.

I posted about this a couple of months ago, I said I had only heard of nicknames on here. Was told I was weird..my name, DH, and 2 dks have names with 4 letters or less, they cannot be shortened,think Mark,or similar.It just didn't happen in my family. I had a cousin Isobel,who died almost 2 years ago,her name was never shortened.

They're diminutives not nicknames. Lizzie is a diminutive, Sniff a nickname.

This. Until this thread I wasn’t aware planning nicknames was a thing.

I don’t think it’s weird to want your child to be called by the name that you have given them until they’re old enough to express a preference. My mum has told me that she will be calling my daughter by her initials because she doesn’t like the name that has been chosen. I find that to be quite rude, but I ignore it because she’s my mum. I wouldn’t be happy if a stranger or other family member had the same idea.

This is about two different things. Diminutives or nicknames. So the diminutive of Victoria could be Vicky. But if the child has curly hair for example she could acquire the nickname Curly. I have a long name, Elizabeth, and am called Lizzie by my family, but due to my constant hayfever my brothers know me as Sniff.

There’s also something relating to class, I think, the linguistic gymnastics we see on this board to reverse engineer a ‘barrister’ name to somehow end up at Gigi, Tiggy, Coco etc.

Someone should create an algorithm to make a Venn diagram of UMC/cutesy/spirited/High Court Judge.

My parents gave me a name they were adamant couldn’t be shortened, but I was known by that shortening throughout school and university.

It's not new.
100 years ago a typical school class would have been full of children named Jim, Billy, Lizzie, Kitty, Alfie, Peggy etc.
Their birth certificates would have said James, William, Elizabeth, Katherine, Alfred and Margaret.

@Alltheladies , I think it's because the trend is currently for long names and for cute names. I don't think it's that different from the 1960s trend for names like Debbie, Vicky, Nick, Tim, Jon, Chris and Alex.

On here there seems to be a need for a name to have lots of diminutives, some of them quite a stretch. e.g, Katherine could be Kate, Katie, Kat, Kitty, Kay, Kathy, Kiki, Erin...

And a name that is fine on it's own to have a long version in case little Max and Evie want to be High Court Judges.

This. I see it on the baby name threads, all the time, people suggesting names, and straight away, some jumping to adding nn could be xyz.

I don’t know anyone who thought much about nicknames. I assumed it was a MNs thing and the desperation to be seen as UMC.

@FluffMagnet , What on earth are you on about OP? It's quite clear what the OP meant.

My question is why do parents feel they have the roght to be so precious over the name they decided to bestow on their offspring? It feels very controlling to me. Why is it controlling to want people to use the name you chose for your child?

It feels more controlling and inflexible to plan a child’s nickname/diminutive before birth. I know someone who is insistent on a certain diminutive for her child because she hates the other common diminutive for the full name that she gave her child.

Nicknames at a later stage are usually given by peers, aren't they?
DS 1 is Alexander, was always Alexander through school, to the point where other kids in the class would tell new teachers he was definitely an "Alexander " if they tried to "Alex" him. Has become Alex as and older teenager.
DS 2 didn't want a nickname, but has somehow become " Larry" to his peers in late Primary.

I hate it, but it's his choice. 🤷‍♀️🤣

This has hit the nail on the head. Its all about cute names. My boys both have names which really cant be shortened and have no nicknames and I get endless comments about what serious names they have and that people hope they grow into their names.

I'm early 30's and I have never met a single person who planned a nickname for their baby 😅

All the people / kids I know with nicknames just evolved over time

My DS is 9 and his nickname is Brian, this stemmed from when he was around 5 or 6 n told the staff his name for a bowling board and they got it wrong and put Brian on the board 🤣

I have a 4 syllable name which I shortened to a 2 syllable one in my early teens.

Everyone now calls me the 2 syllable name plus bongo on the end 🤪

Sometimes nicknames just find you

In my experience, if a name has common nicknames or is long, it will be shortened or a nickname will be used, and the only way to ensure you get your preferred nickname for your child is to use it yourself.

All charlottes I know have been called Char, Charlie, or Lottie by their peers at school, even if their parents prefer the full name, but generally unless you (as parents) pick to use a nickname, it’ll be the one that comes easily from the first syllable. Eg Elizabeth’s tend to naturally be shorten to Liz unless you introduce her as Beth.

Don’t be like my MIL who named one of her DS’s Jonathan and then spent his school years being annoyed all his friends called him Jon or Jonny.

What on earth are you on about OP? I was born mid 80s, unless your name was very short (in which case it was inevitably lengthened) people went by shortened versions or nicknames. My mum chose my name due to its variety of nicknames to grow with me. Plus parents or friends gave people nicknames completely unrelated to their names. How many grandparents/great grandparents are/were known as names very different to their borth certificates? Popular names in particular have always resulted in nicknames in order to differentiate between people.

My question is why do parents feel they have the roght to be so precious over the name they decided to bestow on their offspring? It feels very controlling to me.

Isn't this how names like Lottie, Lola, Charlie, Coco, Carla etc came about in the first place? People historically shortening longer names, the person is commonly known by that name, then perhaps the next gen is named after that person but only given the short version and overtime that becomes a name in its own right rather than always being called the long version but using the shortened one in every day/familiar settings.

Sure the same would have happened in reverse. After a generation of Lotties and Charlie's perhaps people reverted back to Charlotte/Elizabeth and so the cycle continues.

I don't think it's a new phenomenon to ask if the baby would have a familiar name or go by the one on their birth certificate 🤷🏼‍♀️

People will get used to it. Have a friend with an Isabella, many people called her Izzy or Bella in the early days only to be firmly told she was Isabella and there would be no shortenings. She's 9 now and very much still Isabella at least among the grown ups!

It was strange of that person to assume that a Charlotte is going to go by either Charlie or Lottie and ask which one it’ll be. Many choose to just go by Charlotte.

I don't think it's new. I'm in my 60s and have a name that has a huge number of shorter versions/nicknames. I've never been known by any of them. Friends at school attempted to use the one I hate the most and I just refused to answer it.

I totally agree. It feels like they’re being forced. Why can’t Rachel just be Rachel? Why does Rachel have to be shortened to Rae? Why can’t Evelyn just be Evelyn? Why does Evelyn have to be shortened to Evie?

I have a strong feeling that it has something to do with parents nowadays wanting cutesy names. All you hear about is how ‘cute’ a name sounds.