Would our daughter feel left out without the shared family name?

As long as one of your daughter's names has a family connection that can be explained I think she will feel that her name is as special as her brother's name.

I love Grace as a first name.

Grace Jamima.

Having either name as a middle name will be a connection to you - so that's OK. You can explain it as each child having a name for the parent of the same sex.

I definitely wouldn't use 'Josephine; there have been instances in my family where people with the same surname sharing an initial has caused havoc (or at least confusion / misunderstanding). Having 4 people in the same family with the same surname and only two first names between you - chaos!

I would call her Josephine Amelia/Grace and use the second name, since you've already named your son, as I do think there's a chance she'll feel left out. Unless there's a name like Johanna you could use instead. Now that you've started it, you might as well be consistent.

Agree both my daughter and son have 2 middle names.

I would use Josephine for her middle name, she doesn't need to use it if she doesn't want to. You could go for three given names, but that might be a bit much. Keeping a family tradition is nice, you will have little boy Jo and little girl Jo, if they don't like that no one needs to use it.

Why are these posts always by users who have no other posts?

classic Americans, jumping down people's throat at the slight suggestion they might be disrespecting someone's cultural specificity. Yawn!

Yawn indeed - classic MN right here.

My sister got the family name (it's a weird boys name) as her middle name; I did not. I think it has felt unfair to both of us.

Joelle, Joanne, Jocylin ?

Are you from Cyprus? The name thing is common there ( I'm from Cyprus)
My great-grandfather actually broke the tradition and used a different name for my great-grandads surname so our family name was not continued

Just add both middle names in. My daughter has three middle names ha

You'd be better off asking on a site where your culture is familiar to other users.

The bit about your culture was an important dripfeed that I would have added.

If she’s definitely your last child then I’d use Josephine. If you have a third then I’d come up with a name with initials JJ.

Giving her your middle name is enough. She can have her own first name. I totally understand that your son is named after his dad, and that you didn't plan to marry someone with the male equivalent of your name. But carrying it on and having four Josephs/ Josephines in one house would be silly. What if you had other children down the line?

How were we supposed to know your cultural norms without you sharing. As your son has the name based on cultural names and it’s not the cultural norm to apply the same to girls then your daughter should be able to understand that and it will be the same amongst her friends.
Giving her grace includes part of your name so should be fine. Ultimately go with the name you want.

This.

Odd to be snappy with people who give an opinion - as you asked them to do.

'Grace' is your middle name, right? So you are calling her a 'family' name. And making your own 'love story' (is that the right language?!) just as you made one with your DH's name.

It is quite American to have matchy matchy initials though (no, I'm not just thinking of the Kardasians!)

(But I'm not sure why you wouldn't just name your child the name you want to call it. Rather than all this first name, actually ignore that, it's the middle name confusion .)

(Unless you are super posho -eg Harriet known as Binkums or somesuch).

Will she definitely be your last child? If so, either is fine. If not, if you go with Josephine, you might end up one child being the only one left out of multiple siblings?

Just use all three. Amelia Josephine grace surname

I don’t think it matters since there’s only one sibling with the connection. Just choose the one you like best.

My family has something similar with “C” names and wondering what to do with the second baby. But I think it’s a nice-to-have rather than essential. Especially if it’s something like the “Jose” or “Maria” names where the middle name is almost automatically treated as first.

Talk about a drip feed, it's more like a waterfall.

I know it may be hard for some to believe but not everyone lives the way you live

but if you have different cultural norms to the people you're asking, then tell them what they are, don't expect them to be clairvoyant 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

I think you should go with Josephine Amelia or Grace. Using her middle name all the time as you do with Christopher.

it's not what I'd have done with DS, I'd have named him Christopher Joseph, but as you have, I'd follow the same format with DD. I wouldn't risk her feeling left out.or feeling not as special as DS.

Call her Josepha. You don't want her to feel left out.