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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Should we prioritise our baby name preferences or his family tradition?

86 replies

daiilyah · 01/05/2026 11:39

My partner is Hindu, Indian and I am white British, we live in the UK. His family lives in India

I am not fussed about having an Indian name and neither is DH but his family feel it's important for them to be connected to their roots.

In their family the paternal grandmother gives the name and they have no middle names. My MIL is lovely and was disappointed when we said no but understood. We will have middle names but want to also choose these ourselves.

I have looked at tons and tons of names that work in both cultures but none have stood out for me.

I'm not looking for more suggestions of these as I have spent a long time looking.

The names DH and I like are longer slightly more elegant names like Liberty or Alexander.

Most seem to have greek routes

Should I stick to our preferences or consider his culture?

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PeopleWatching17 · 01/05/2026 15:21

daiilyah · 01/05/2026 13:22

DP has asked that we don't mention giving middle names. He finds them pointless but for me their an opportunity to select alternative names should our child grow up to not like their given one

Such as Liberty?

Smokingtoaster · 01/05/2026 15:10

daiilyah · 01/05/2026 11:51

in their family having middle names is seen as 'under class' don't know how else to put it. So we're not actually going to tell them about the middle names

No idea where they get that from, I work for an Indian organisation and half the board have multiple middle names. In fact one has so many he is just known by the initials of his 5 last names! Definitely not low status individuals, it’s a $3B company!

redskyAtNigh · 01/05/2026 15:10

If neither your or DH are fussed and MIL understands, then I think you need to think about why you are even asking the question.

IkaBaar · 01/05/2026 15:04

Can you let MIL choose from a (very) shortlist? I have Indian friends who’ve done it this way.

Thegoldenoriole · 01/05/2026 15:01

daiilyah · 01/05/2026 11:51

in their family having middle names is seen as 'under class' don't know how else to put it. So we're not actually going to tell them about the middle names

Tell then our royal family always have a heap of middle names!

frogswimming · 01/05/2026 14:54

Use the mil or Indian name as the first name, the name you like as a middle name but that’s the name you use day to day? Eg John David Smith but called David day to day.

ThatMiddleClassFood · 01/05/2026 14:49

Could you give grandmother a list of names you like and ask her to pick one for the baby?

Sashya · 01/05/2026 13:42

I also had to deal with family name tradition, and a culturally/ethnically mixed child. So - we chose the names of our children ourselves - taking into consideration the heritage, and balancing it with our desire that the names are easy to pronounce and don't have complicated spelling (i.e. not needed to be spelled out)
Personally - don't see the point in middle names. If a child wants to change their name when they grow up, it's not difficult. And they'll most likely chose something themselves, rather than the middle name their parents picked years ago...

Liberty is a stripper name to me. Far from elegant...

AgentPidge · 01/05/2026 13:38

daiilyah · 01/05/2026 11:51

in their family having middle names is seen as 'under class' don't know how else to put it. So we're not actually going to tell them about the middle names

Normal in your culture though, and where the child will grow up, presumably. Tell your ILs that (or get DH to). I think it will be nice for your DC to have a middle name that reflects his/her Indian heritage.

Extraenergyneeded · 01/05/2026 13:33

Choose 2 names and let her pick a third which probably will never get used!

Shallotsaresmallonions · 01/05/2026 13:26

MIL picking the name, even a middle name, is bonkers. If your husband isn't bothered about choosing a name that reflects his culture, then I don't know why you would be. Just choose a name you like together.

Original poster
daiilyah · 01/05/2026 13:22

DP has asked that we don't mention giving middle names. He finds them pointless but for me their an opportunity to select alternative names should our child grow up to not like their given one

OP posts:
exexpat · 01/05/2026 13:19

Why not explain to them that in British culture, the more middle names you have, the posher you are - just check out King Charles' string of middle names (Charles Philip Arthur George Mountbatten-Windsor)!

user2848502016 · 01/05/2026 13:00

I would have a middle name from his culture, one his mum chooses unless it’s hideous!

beeble347 · 01/05/2026 12:54

Surname definitely counts though you said the heritage isn't obvious. My husband is Nigerian and we agreed (I'm very on board) at least one name from his family's language as well.

I think it's worth discussing with his family and saying we're not going to go with an Indian first name but we'd love you to help us consider a middle name if you have any suggestions? If they say no and don't like the idea of middle names then don't bother.

I do think though you have to love the name as parents but also important to keep the child connected to their heritage in some way especially if husband's family aren't nearby.

ThejoyofNC · 01/05/2026 12:48

They want you to respect their culture but can't they have any respect for yours? Tell them in England it would be an honour to select a child's middle name.

DreamyPenn · 01/05/2026 12:45

Use names you love and pick middle name yourself.

DeedsNotDiddums · 01/05/2026 12:37

daiilyah · 01/05/2026 11:39

My partner is Hindu, Indian and I am white British, we live in the UK. His family lives in India

I am not fussed about having an Indian name and neither is DH but his family feel it's important for them to be connected to their roots.

In their family the paternal grandmother gives the name and they have no middle names. My MIL is lovely and was disappointed when we said no but understood. We will have middle names but want to also choose these ourselves.

I have looked at tons and tons of names that work in both cultures but none have stood out for me.

I'm not looking for more suggestions of these as I have spent a long time looking.

The names DH and I like are longer slightly more elegant names like Liberty or Alexander.

Most seem to have greek routes

Should I stick to our preferences or consider his culture?

I was in a similarish situation and chose to go with names that would work everywhere.
They got middle names that were more nods to that heritage.
And no one named them but their own parents!

SemperIdem · 01/05/2026 12:28

daiilyah · 01/05/2026 11:51

in their family having middle names is seen as 'under class' don't know how else to put it. So we're not actually going to tell them about the middle names

I would tell them, purely because just as it is useful for you to learn about traditions and cultural norms, it is useful for them to learn about yours.

Sunglade · 01/05/2026 12:10

A name isn't really something you can compromise on as you'll have to use it every day for the rest of your life. The parents should decide, no matter what culture.

rainbowstardrops · 01/05/2026 11:56

Ultimately, it’s your child so you get to choose, especially as your DH agrees with you.
Have you heard any of MIL’s suggestions? You might like them! Or maybe tweak them?

1apenny2apenny · 01/05/2026 11:52

I would do middle names only and let both MIL choose, it’s about your culture too

Original poster
daiilyah · 01/05/2026 11:52

the surname is Indian but doesn't necessarily sound it

OP posts:
TheTreesTheTrees · 01/05/2026 11:51

I think the child's surname is relevant here as that might signal their heritage.

FWIW 'Liberty' sounds a bit America and not elegant.

Original poster
daiilyah · 01/05/2026 11:51

in their family having middle names is seen as 'under class' don't know how else to put it. So we're not actually going to tell them about the middle names

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