Should we prioritise our baby name preferences or his family tradition?

This. Pick a middle name from his culture (if you want to honour that side). Or don’t.., how is this an issue if you’re both in agreement?

As it's your husband's family (only) applying the pressure AND their reaction to middle names is so strongly negative that your husband wants to keep them a secret, then only the first name and surname are relevant to their request. You've already decided to use the dad's surname. That surname is a very strong link to the dad's culture whether other people from outside the culture automatically know it or not; it's a closer and more personal link than a random name chosen because it's Hindu. That leaves the first name as a link to the mother's culture. Sure, it would be nice if you could find something that works equally in both cultures, but you've said you've looked hard and found nothing. I wouldn't feel guilty at all using an English name that you and your husband both like; maybe just choose one that doesn't present a big pronunciation problem for your husband's family if they have a different native language.

i would choose the name you both like, but as a respect to his mother i would allow her to give her a nickname that she uses for her as a special bond for her and the granddaughter. it would be informal but may make his mother feel involved respected etc

What is it?

Nah, they don't get a say. They got to decide for themelseves when they had children. Now it's your turn.

I’d still make them Indian middle names as it’s the children’s heritage, and I’m sure they’d feel more connected to it with an Indian middle name than with a western name and no middle name.

I understand. My mother is Indian albeit not Hindu. I get that Hindu naming has cultural and religious significance.

So also everything that's major milestones (oh the stress on seemingly innocuous things for our wedding, when I got pregnant, etc. etc.).
Do listen and take on board suggestions, but know and lead by the fact that as two individuals meeting in the middle across cultures, religion, etc.etc. in modern times, you have to do what suits you.

Where my mother was getting really annoying, I countered with our (OH and my) view and stuck with it. The wedding was terribly stressful as I took a while to draw a line in the number of issues she kept raising....and learned to counter things as 'this is what the priest has requested, the church is only available at 3pm on Friday (yes, the time Jesus died on the cross! And a time that no one gets married at apparently,) etc., etc.

Apparently, Alexander was a low class / caste name (she was worried about 'Alex' which is not good enough for our family...in the specific state /culture she comes from in India)... I still stuck with it. My son is Alexander / Zander (to those who are close) has a name that absolutely suits him.

I am white British and my husband is Malaysian Chinese. I think it is important to acknowledge both cultures. Both my kids have a (western) 1st name, both have a middle name after my grandad/dad, a Chinese name chosen my mother in law and Chinese surname. They are older now and they are proud of their names.

agreed. i was raised with a name that is not my legal first name and it’s a PITA. every time i changed schools or uni or jobs i revert back to my legal name and then have to convince everyone to use my given name. some people would react with visible disapproval like i am ridiculous and essentially think i am just using a fake name, so i gave up eventually. now some people know me with one name, others with my other name. it’s awkward and i find my whole name situation embarrassing.

You and your husband choose the name.

If you wish to involve MIL, you could wait until the baby is born and choose two names you both would be very happy to use, then allow MIL to have the final say.

So my best mate chose a name that the longer version is an Indian name, but shortens to a European one that he goes by every day

Id say, you and DH together make a list of Hindu names that you would be happy with, and let MIL pick your baby's middle name from that list. It can't all be one culture, especially when the child will grow up more in the other culture, so it's just not your problem that they don't like middle names.

Let her pick one name, you pick the other, then choose which way around sounds best, you then can choose to call via first or second name day to day. You can have a veto on the Indian name but it’s a lovely family tradition to continue but modify

Stick to your guns. If you cave in on the name. Next it will be statues in the room, religious nonsense etc etc. your MIL had her chance to raise a child and do what she wanted now it’s your turn

Why shouldn’t they pick a name from mum’s culture, which is just as much the child’s culture (and probably more given where they live).

Could MIL give suggestions of names? There may be one you like. I would follow the family tradition by asking MIL for a list and striving to choose from that, but I wouldn’t accept a name I really disliked or that has connotations in the UK that MIL may not know.

Choose your own names, but personally I would include an Indian name - or will your child have an Indian surname?

My extended family members of Indian Hindu culture are not called by their registered names anyway, they all have alternative names used day to day, at work, etc.

Why do your DH’s family traditions weigh heavier than yours?

British first name and Indian surname to honour both of your child’s cultures. Your husband and his family shouldn’t be allowed to choose both. One culture is not more important than the other.

All that matters is that it is what you and DH feel happy with

Not that it really matters, but if it's the name I think it is, it's very noticeably Indian when it's a surname.

It's reasonably common-ish as a first name in the UK; but it would never be a 'traditional British' surname.

Bit surprised that so many people are saying let MIL pick a middle name, as normally people on here seem to be against in-laws picking anything, or even commenting on names, never mind picking one. And that's even when they're objecting to names like Tradjedeighhhhhhhhhhh.
But it is nice to do it, but I don't know about only letting one of the grandparents pick a name?

In your position, as long as my husband was not bothered by tradition, then I’d just pick names we both like.

The main thing here is that you and your husband agree. It’s easy to say when not pregnant and full of hormones but I really think you are over thinking here.

Choose the names you and your husband love.