Parents criticised our chosen baby name without knowing it was ours

The bottom line is, do you love the name enough not to care that your parents hate it? Or will it always be tainted by their comments? Obviously it would be a shame not to use a name you love, but the question is whether you’ll still love it with that conversation in mind.

I think it also makes a difference how your parents are likely to react if you do use it. Are they the kind of people likely to think “Oh shit - weren’t we saying it was awful a few weeks ago?” and feel mortified about it? Or are they likely to say “Charles?! CHARLES?! Are you serious? That’s awful; we were only saying so the other week!”? Again, you don’t have to let that dictate your decision - but if you think they might be embarrassed that they unwittingly slated your name choice, it might be something that just gets forgotten with time.

Nasty?
My mum didn't like one of my choices... in fact, come to think of it she didn't like several of them lol. Also- neither did my husband so thinking about it they maybe were a bit random.
It wasn't 'nasty' or designed to 'hurt' me. It was simply her opinion.
(Good job I never went with the original one... I ended up with a horse the same name 😂)
Ultimately... its YOUR child- its YOUR decision.
Don't let your parents sway you.
(I still think you're insane to let it bother you so much but I guess thats likely hormones )

Being of a certain age Alfie is the godawful film, and Alf is Garnett. Which is why I said much earlier some of us think of things like that when names are mentioned and just can't get past it.
And if you give a child the full version of the name they can choose, give them the short version it's hard to do that. I have a relative who was given the short version, hated it and decided to just call herself by the long version, which was OK until she died and the death certificate has 'otherwise known' as on it.

It is a great name OP. One of my son's closest friends is called Charlie. I had the same reaction by my parents and my MIL didn't like my DD name when she was born. All my dc's have old fashioned names and we love them. My dc's like their names and I couldn't of cared less what my parents/MIL thought. At the time I was going to add something really ridiculous for their middle name just to wind them up but didnt think it would of been fair on my children.

Just go with the name you like and ignore everthing else. Don't take it to heart. We all like different things. You may have voiced a dislike for stuff in the past that secretly upset friends and family that loved said thing.

Your name could seem ridiculous to 99% of people but you, DH and child are among the few that love it. Equally you could chose a name that the majority of society love but then your child finds boring.

Charles/Charlie is a perfectly acceptable and nice name. You don't need your parents judgement on this, it's totally mean of them to have a strong opinion.

Our DS is called Alfie, my FIL's response was " Fucksake, fucking hell, another fucking Alfie". We have another Alfie in the family who is a bit of a troublemaker, and that's even my son required a NICU stay for being premature and sepsis. We obviously didn't change our mind, but it certainly pissed me off that was his response. My PIL have form for being terribly judged. My sympathies you've found their thoughts on the name upsetting

My ILs think you call firstborn boys after their father and first born girls after their grandmother or something,

Are you my SIL @Poulaphooka ?

My DP was named after his father, as all the first-born boys had been for several generations. The elder of his sisters had the grandmother's first name.

DP refused to follow suit when his son was born and his parents were really pissed off. The "family name" wasn't used until the younger of his 2 sisters had a son, and MIL felt it didn't really count because he had a different surname.

MIL was really pissed off when none of the girl GCs got the GM's name, one of them having it as a middle name just isn't good enough, apparently.

I think it would be a good idea to tell your parents to stop discussing names in front of you because it's going to be awkward if they diss a name you are planning to use. When their grandchild is born they will love them and be proud of them, if they are decent people.
PS I know a Charlie. He was a beautiful baby, a lovely child and is now a super adult, hard-working, polite, considerate and a very-involved parent.

Ralph’s a penis name

I don't hate Alfie. It's cute.
I don't see the point of having a special name for forms, medical appointments and court appearances.

Tell them you’re thinking of calling him Barry or Ethelred or something ridiculous and the name you’ve chosen will undoubtedly suit babies all of a sudden.

My mum was dead against my daughter’s name - only two kids in the country had been given it the year before so she thought it was made up and went on a tirade about how mean it is to give made up names to a child. Now she beams when people compliment the name and tells them all about some Lady who had it a few hundred years ago in our area. I am not sure if it grew on her or because she discovered it was a real name that had gone out of usage rather than being made up. Either way everyone seems to like the name now and it sparks conversations- a few younger kids in the area have the name too now. I secretly hated my friend’s kids name and my niece and nephew’s but they have all grown on me! You’re the parent, you decide!

I suspect they prefer Charles to Charlie. And may see Charlie as slightly less grown up or indeed ‘proper’. Charlie in their era ( depending on age) may have connotations of being associated with peeps slightly rough around the edges. Charles will not.

Read this after posting. it’s your baby. And it’s a perfectly normal name for a baby and an adult. I wonder what they would think of my kids names! They would have a meltdown. Do what you want

Stanley

@Bringbackbuffy OP if you love the name go for it. I gave my daughter a name that my mum hated and told me that she is going to hate it and it’s not a “normal” name, you should pick a different name and all that jazz. My husband’s name also wasn’t so keen but more respectful in their response. I still love it, she loves it and I’m glad I stuck to my guns

My parents had previously mentioned that they thought it was ridiculous to name a child a nickname without giving them a 'full proper name' to fall back on, and specifically mentioned Alfie as an example of one of these ridiculous names. I later called DS2 Alfie and they said they loved the name for him and he suited it so well and they couldn't imagine him being called anything else, so either they were lying to me or just totally changed their mind when it was their own grandchild with one of these ridiculous names.

I also know Alfie is a widely hated name on MN, it comes up in every 'most hated names threads'

Well you know your parents are being both hideously judgemental and ridiculous to have said what they said. Once the baby is born and you call it Charles if it's a boy you can tell them you love the name whatever they think and that's what matters.

What a strange name to go on a rant about, I guess they are quite opinionated as Charles/Charlie is a very standard name.

I think I'd choose the name, and let them know at some point that you know they don't like it but you love it, and they will backpedal and this will all be over.

😂

This situation is entirely different because your partner has still said something rude ABOUT you knowingly.

They have no idea you want to use this name, they have expressed an opinion on a name that to their knowledge doesn’t impact you or anyone else- we all have names we don’t like.

I think you are being utterly ridiculous. They didnt know you had chosen the name

Just saw what the name is. Truthfully it's one of those names I don't like, so I'm probably in the same camp as your parents. It's along the lines of William, Wilfred, Frederick, the Victorian uncles names. Sorry.

My mum hated the name we had chosen so we changed it. I regret changing it and wish we’d kept the first name and told dm to just put up with it.
The name you have chosen is lovely and a million times better than a lot of the names you hear these days.

Not me - and I think you’re going have to toughen up a bit because there will be other issues later on that they will almost certainly comment on - childcare choices; school choice; activities your DC wants to do etc. You need to develop a thick skin if you have opinionated parents … what matters is what you and DH agree on. DP/PIL are not going to think every choice you make is wonderful.