Parents criticised our chosen baby name without knowing it was ours

My dad did - perhaps not awful but when we told him what we were calling our youngest he pulled a face and said he didn't like it.

To which I replied "I don't care whether you like it or not, we do!"

I wasn't hurt because his opinion on the name didn't really matter.

Just to add, it is also a perfectly normal, top 50, name, nothing weird!

When I was about to become a granny,I told ds and his (then) girlfriend to keep the name secret and only reveal it once the baby was born

They ignored me (which was fine) and started telling people-most where polite even if it wasnt to their taste

My mother who is a narcissist hit the roof-no great grandchild of hers was going to have such a chavvy name,it was a 'servant' name and they had to chose another from her approved list (I knew she'd do this as she'd pulled the same stunt on me with my dc, which i had explained to them)

They told her in no uncertain terms that this is their baby and if she carried on,she wouldn't get within 10 feet of their child

She did wind her neck in as she knows how stubborn ds can be

Didn't stop her slagging off the name to any sucker that would listen to her

Baby was born and the 'super awful,'chavvy' and horrid' name was suddenly the best name ever and that she'd helped choose it as she had the best taste in baby names

(I want to add that there is no name that is 'chavvy' or 'a servant name' both are an awful thing to say about any name)

The beautiful name that sparked 7 months of hell?

Maisie

I actually think it's far crazier to duplicate names in a family than to choose less common ones (as long as they are actual names!).

There are two basic functions for a name: for it to identify you in particular in your family and for other people (at least in your country/culture) to be able to spell and pronounce. Therefore, it's just as unsuitable and a very poor choice to call your child Fefjshurykthieosaxfz as it is to call them John, when they already have a father, brother, uncle or grandfather called John.

You wouldn't use the same word to refer to very different things in your home - "I put some laundry in the television and then I sat down on the television to watch the television and spend a bit of time MNing on my television whilst I waited for the cycle to finish - it was raining outside, so I had to dry it in the television, but at least it was only underwear, so I didn't need to run the television over it afterwards" - so why on earth would you deliberately choose that confusion for actual human beings?!

There would have been a time when say 'Mabel' would have been deemed 'awful' and 'old fashioned' etc. Now it's a name that is coming back into fashion. There's a trend to join two names together with a hyphen. Mai or May seems to be a popular choice for the second hyphenated name! Names tend to go in cycles and it's not unusual for different generations to dislike particular names.

Your parents weren't insulting your choice, because they don't know it's your choice. They've made their opinion know about a particular name. You don't have to take a blind bit of notice of their opinion. They aren't naming your baby, you and your husband are, and if they dislike your choice that's tough!

If it’s Wilfred then yes, definitely a marmite name and has only recently become popular so can see why a parent wouldn’t like it. But if you like it, who cares? They’ll get used to it.

Just ignore and enjoy the awkwardness when you announce the name. That's what I'd do.

Just because they don't like the name it doesn't mean that they are not going to like DGC. Go on OP, you've chosen Balonz haven't you?

It can feel hurtful to have a name you like criticised, especially by parents. I felt the same when I told my father my preferred name & he gave me a look as if to say you can't be serious. I stuck with it until my son was born then immediately thought what was I thinking & blamed my hormones. It made me realise to have a few honest opinions gives food for thought. I believe it was my hormones that took over & made me feel it was a name my son would be happy with. When he was old enough I told him the name he was almost given. He said thank god for deed poll 😂

OP you must realise asap that you are going to be ''burdening'' another human being with something they may hate all their lives - it is not all about you and your parents - choose something anyone can actually live with - do your kid this favour at least!!

Your parents have every right to not like a name! And you have every right to choose a name for your unborn little one. They are not saying your little one is awful.

I don’t think that feeling hurt is reasonable because your parents have no idea that this is your chosen baby name. It would be different if you had said meet “ meet baby Sid” and they had told you how much they hated the name. I think it is fairly normal for grandparents to dislike baby name because fashions change.

Some old man names are popular but spectacularly awful in the minds of people of my age. I’m thinking Stanley, Wilfred, Percy.

My daughter’s name isn’t out there but there’s not many around my area.
Our families weren’t keen on it tbh, we called her it anyway.
they now can’t imagine her called anything else.

name your baby what you love.

Hang fire.
Your parents have no idea of your name choice.
They are perfectly entitled to have personal opinions of their own.
They have not set out to hurt you.
You can CHOOSE to feel hurt or offended if you wish... but nobody has purposefully hurt you.

Ralph and Edward are not of the same ilk, Ralph is a bit out there imo, not that you need to change your name choice but it might now look like you have named the baby after, their friends kid's name

OP I wouldn't worry at all about this. It's your baby. Don't take in outside opinions. My mum and MIL were very opinionated on our names calling one too popular and another 'an old lady name'. We used them and love them.

You can’t take it personally though as they have no idea you’ve chosen it!

Well some names are just really awful and that’s a fact. It’s not mean if it’s a truly awful name. However your suggestions don’t seem that unreasonable. I’ve also said to dh at times, why did they choose such a name sounds so awful. So people do judge. I’ve even thought this of an adult. Makes no difference if it’s a baby.

I think you just have to prepare yourselves and decide what the best way is, knowing what they are like .

E.g “just to warn you in advance, because you made it spectacularly clear you don’t like it xxxx is the name we will be using if the baby is a boy” “haha we know you hate the name but hope you will love your grandson”

Make it clear you aren’t opening a discussion.

How pregnant are you? Will you be finding out the sex of your baby before the birth? If so, don’t say anything until you know whether your baby is a boy.

And then decide whether to talk about their opinions before or after the birth.

One of the eye-rolley things about pregnancy is the number of unwanted forceful opinions foisted on you. Expect judgemental expounding about your preferred approach to labour, feeding, sleep patterns, weaning, whether raisins are too high in sugar blah blah…

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

You can’t possibly think in that your parents must like the name you’ve chosen, had they known the name they may not have voiced their dislike! But given they don’t know, you’ve no right to be “hurt”. Disappointed they don’t like it maybe, but that’s life!

This is the issue - your parents sound quite nasty and small minded. I would proceed as planned and if they comment you can [lie] say ‘we had never even considered this name until your 10minute rant on the subject and quite fell in love with it, so thank you so much for highlighting it as we are delighted with our choice’.

But you haven't named your baby. I'm sure if you had told them they would have kept their thoughts to themselves.

My DS's partner was going to call their hypothetical first child Fawn. I didn't say anything 🤐 Thankfully they split up and never had a baby.

Is it Rupert? That name is popular right now but older people still think of the Bear.

Come on, that's a girl's name.

at least i was prepared for her reaction when my child was born

My DS has a similar vintage revival name and I think older people find it unusual because they associate it with people of their own age or older, not a baby.

This is true; people grow up in their own generation and can frame their thoughts within those limitations. I still find it weird that there are now young women (including a cool pop star!) and indeed new babies called Mabel, as to me, that's instinctively a grandma name... but none of those actual grandmas were born as grandmas; and most of the baby Mabels being born now will likely be grandmas one day. Not that it's a problem at all; names are just names and most of them are usually cyclical.