Parents criticised our chosen baby name without knowing it was ours

My dad doesn’t like the name my daughter goes by (diminutive of her first name), apparently it’s a name for an old vehicle! He wanted us to call her Kate instead.

OP they will adore your son and forget whatever they thought of the name once they meet him - I would ignore it and just try to forget it.

Fwiw I am not a fan of surnames as first names generally, and there is one in particular that I dislike (not really for any reason) and then my son started school and his best friend has this name, and he is such a sweet child and DS loves him and now that I know him I love the name too and only have positive associations with it (and this is with an acquaintance, not a family member!) - they will come round.

On reflection those are the two reasons I wouldn't choose this name despite liking it. I always thought of connotations & possible nicknames before deciding.

Op. 20odd years ago we named our son Conrad. When I told my mother she said. "Thats horrible why would you call him that" (yes I was hurt) ffw 11 years she was visiting and she said. " I always liked the name Conrad its such a good strong name" it had become her grandson whom she loved and was proud of and due to that changed her view of the name.

I will never forget her original reaction as it was hurtful and my beautiful baby boy did not deserve that. However it changed her view and I still love his name deeply and have never regretted using it even with her not liking it.

Charles is a wonderful solid and strong name. Use the name you love and wait it out. As it will become a possitive connection for them as its their amazing grandson who could not possibly be anything but Charles/Charlie.

Tell them you’re going to call a baby boy ‘Herod-Butch’, and when they fight back, say the only other name you like is Charlie. They will grab it with both hands

Oh those are great names! I know a few at all different ages.

It sucks your parents don’t like it, but they obviously didn’t mean to hurt you. As they are being the odd ones here I’d turn it into a joke about how they don’t like it.

I mean this kindly, but you are taking a conversation in the abstract and making it very personal, when that clearly wasn’t the intention. So your parents don’t like the name. You now know that - either it changes your mind or it doesn’t. Lots of people like/dislike all sorts of names, but it doesn’t make a difference to how they feel about that person. Nothing to feel really hurt about - just some information about their preference over something that actually isn’t up to them! Please try not to let this bother you.

Charlie is lovely for a girl x

Edward fine, Ralph is the name of Michael's penis in Judy Blume'Blume's 'Forever'!!

Very not same category!

If they're of my generation, they probably see Charlie as a mockable name. Back in the day we used to call someone stupid 'a proper Charlie' and any character called Charlie in a book or on TV, was likely to be a bit daft. So although I know that's not the case now, it's still a name that I can't quite take seriously.

it was spectacularly stupid if them to say what they said when they don’t know what your name choices are.

So no-one can comment on any names when a family member is pregnant? Well there's an etiquette role I never knew.

We didn't want to tell anyone our dcs name until they were born, but mil wore us down in the end so we told her our second favourite. She immediately said "oh no, I don't like that, it reminds me of (insert person she doesn't like who we have never met)" 🙄 and she wonders why we didn't want to tell her.

Charlie / Charles is such a classic name, I was expecting something a lot more unusual. Just remember your dc is going to be a grown man one day and your mums opinion of his name is going to mean feck all

My dad went on a campaign to stop me naming my sons the name we ( mostly DH) had chosen. Got his friends to ring me up saying he’d be bullied, he said it was a dog’s name, offered me £100 to give him his own 1st name. Water off a duck’s back, I just laughed it off. Don’t over think it OP.

That's a lovely name! Your parents will just have to get used to it. They will almost certainly fall in love with your child as soon as they see him, and the name won't even matter.

I'd go more towards the Charlie side (with Charles his official name of course) as that's definitely more modern - I know quite a few Charlies.

At least my mum tried to be a bit more subtle about it. 😂

I thought it might be Rupert too! It seems to be a name that can invoke strong opinions. Would've never guessed Charlie!

When I was expecting DS, one of my mother's friends became grandmother to a Benjamin. Mum went on at some length about how much she disliked long names which are inevitably shortened. We had already chosen the name Alexander, and we told Mum that the name we had chosen was a long one. She was not happy and fretted about him having a ridiculous name for the rest of the pregnancy.

When he was born all her objections to long names vanished and she loved his name. Apparently "Alexander" doesn't count as a "long name."

My eldest’s name is Rupert (and it’s why I was scanning the replies to this thread - to see whether that was the offending name!) and my mum had exactly the same reaction: her WhatsApp reaction will live on in perpetuity - ‘can’t stand the name…. But pleased he’s healthy’ 🤣

She still doesn’t really like it but that’s fine, it suits him perfectly in my opinion.

I think you should probably take this less to heart, OP - there is no single name that everybody universally will like, and that’s ok.

Congratulations :)

Why is it mean? Did they say it to the people who have named their baby that? They weren't to know the OP liked it.

Why does there need to be a big name reveal? It’s a name. It doesn’t really matter & you sound dramatic about it.

They didn't like it and that's their prerogative. They didn't know you plan to use that name so they didn't do it to be deliberately rude or upset you. It's up to you whether you decide to use it anyway.

That's a lovely name op and I think it IS good for a boy or a man.

Sometimes some people just have to have a negative opinion about things like this. Are your parents usually those types of people?

Either way I'd just leave it. Don't say anything to them.

If you have a boy they will love everything him, including his name because it's their grandson! And if they don't.....tough shit, really!

But this is a personal attack. It’s totally different

A name is a name. People are allowed opinions on names. They didn’t know it was your chosen name just a name they had heard. You cannot be offended because you want to call your son this name

I called my DS a name I didn’t like but for a personal reason to my DH. Me not liking the name wasn’t a personal attack on my DS or DH. I’ve learned to love the name as it’s his name

I would just ignore them. Fashions change and younger people don't necessarily have the same associations with names that older people do.

Nothing wrong with Charles; it's a great name choice and Charlie is very standard well used nickname. What have they got against it? I would just carry on and use the name and they'll get used to it.

It wouldn't even occur to me to consider my parents thoughts when naming a baby-they've had their turn when I was born and it's my turn now?