Immense baby name regret

Yes but it’s a nice name. The more I’m thinking about it the more I like it actually!

im thinking that because op is feeling so regretful, another name just gives more choice in the future.

I have a son with similar vibe name and not what I would have chosen myself. But it’s him and he has to style it out. The father chose names

Something I find interesting is why names are never considered to be examples of cultural appropriation.

White people having dreadlocks/cornrows is cultural appropriation, as is wearing a turban as a fashion accessory. But for some reason, using names that originate from a certain country, or are strongly associated with different cultures, is not considered to be cultural appropriation. I wonder why that is.

Jacqueline will get shortened to Jackie which is v 70s.

I really like the name, it’s unusual which is why people are probably having reactions, but I wouldn’t assume it’s because they think it’s a bad name.

A lot of people will associate that spelling with a pronunciation of Deh-Zeer-ray though so prepare yourself for that.

If you and your husband like the name though, don’t change it based on other people reactions and what you are assuming they may be thinking.

OP I hope you are reassured by the positive reactions here.

I strongly suspect that the reason you are getting negative reactions when you tell people is that they are imagining her name is Daisy-Rae and think it is chavvy.

I agree that it is known as being more popular amongst black American people but so what? It’s not a recently made-up name, it has credible history. (And Desiree Burch is brilliant). The meaning is very similar to Aimee/Amy.

Well done to your DH. You can easily call her just Ray from day to day, that is a very cool name at the moment. Jacqueline is a middle aged British woman name, pretty meh.

To me Desiree is a black American name, for a white British person it is up there with Chardonnay or Destiny for me as a chavvy name IMO.
I also think if everyone prefers the nicknames to the actual name then it's probably not a great choice.

I think Jaqueline Joy could end up as JJ which IMO is awful so I wouldn't do that. Scarlett Joy would be my choice. I love Raye but Raye Joy is not good.

I had assumed you were black too. I know three black women called Joy so when you said that was your DDs middle name I was even more convinced.

I think you either need to embrace the name and just own it and politely tell people very confidently We love it!’ Or change it now to something more conventional that you are more comfortable with. Lucy, Isabel and Scarlett are all lovely and no one will bat an eyelid when you say her name.

Another vote for stick with it! I like it.

I'm white with a name that is more common in black American Christian communities. Hasn't caused me any problems and I like my name too.

Having it as her 'home name' isn't going to change the fact that it's still her name.

I would keep it as her home name and choose another for her official name if you are really regretting this so deeply.
I think desiree is really sweet and it’s uncommon. I think she could style it out. But choose something else for peace of mind. The fact you feel strongly then I would change it. And keep it for her family name. My son has two names

Well Joy is a lovely name.
Each to their own.

Your husband sounds positively dreadful.
Only liked one name and wouldn't consider any others?

Just awful.

Both my 2 have typical 1990s names, and I can't count on the fingers of one hand the amount of children/people they have met who have the same name (within 5 years of their age.) Both of them were the only ones in their primary school (of 400 children) in the early noughties with their name. Yet they were both in the top 40 names of the 1990s. It doesn't follow that just because a child has a popular name that every third girl or boy that they meet will have the same name.

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I would use Ray or Raya as a nn.

It’s a reasonably common name in Germany where the short form Desi is pronounced Daisy.

Sorry to say that was my first thought too so definately not name I would choose.The name is actually a lot more common than you realise too.

But if you like it, stick with it. No name is ever perfect for everyone. She may like her name. If not maybe she can change it herself when she's older.

Ray Joy sounds like something you would get from Love Honey! 😬

I'd be a bit confused by a white child having that name in truth.

But on the plus side, at least there won't be another 5 of them at school when she goes. My darling middle granddaughter has got a beautiful but popular name and there are 5 other kids with that name in her school (2 in the same year) - hence having to use the initial of their surnames as well as their first name all the time. She hates it now she's older and often says why can't she just have a name that no one else at school has

I guess so and perhaps I’m naive or overprivileged but I really don’t see why it’s a problem.

I think it’s the sort of name you have to grow into. My friend called her baby Bradley and it just seemed so weird for a tiny newborn. Now he’s a teenager and it seems totally normal (if not a name I would choose).

I think Desiree Joy is beautiful.

I love the name Joy too, by the way.

And you've gifted your daughter with such warm, positive names.

Absolutely stick with it if you both like it. Agree maybe shorten it to Desi.

I don't like it.

I don't understand all the nickname suggestions either. Why choose a name for them to be called by something else entirely. Dizzy for example is ridiculous. Ray is rather nice but why not just call her that to begin with.. Not that Ray Joy flows well, but my point is keep the name and call her that, or change it completely.

I don't love the name, but I certainly don't hate it - and if you love it, that really is all that matters.

Rae/Ray, Des and Daisy are all great diminutives, too. I know two women that call themselves Ray and they are both ace.

It can come off as a bit strange though. It’s like Aaliyah the deceased singer, I personally would be surprised at a white girl having this name. But that’s just me. Not for any reason though. Maybe there are white girls with it as a name, I don’t know.

I’m sat here trying to picture your average British kid trying to be gangster being called Desiree and I just can’t lol all the ones I know are jack, Daniel, Ellie, William etc just normal names.

In fact the only Desiree I know is a stay at home mum who likes gardening and reading.

I wouldn’t say the OP ‘shouldn’t’ but she should be aware of it.