Page 2 | I don’t like my son’s full name

Koijoi · 2026-03-27T19:39:51+00:00

I’m not 100% with my baby’s full name. He’s 6 months now and ultimately I could’ve not gone through with it at the registry, but at the time I felt pressured and was doing what his dad wanted. We’re now no longer together and I feel so weird about it. Negatives of keeping his current middle name … I genuinely struggle to pronounce it and don’t like it, it’s after some uncle I’ve never met. Positives of keeping it.. I don’t have to go through the changing palaver as I’ve had my name changed as a child and didn’t like it, it’s his dad’s name as his surname and he still has a relationship with him. Most likely I won’t change it as it’s done now, but just looking for some other opinions from now single mums and what’s best for a mother and son unit and his own future. I don’t even like mentioning his middle name.

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Amiacoolorwarmcolour · 27/03/2026 20:52

I don’t think it’s fair on a child to change their name without both parents permission. What if the child becomes close to the nrp once they are older? Then wants to change their name back to their birth name.
So many issues can arise from this.
The op herself has said she isn’t happy that her name was changed to that of her step fathers.
Op- like you said leave it. Who knows when your son becomes an adult he might change his name to that if his wife’s, it will be more common in the future.

Original poster

Koijoi · 27/03/2026 20:52

Roundofapause · 27/03/2026 20:49

Just wanted to point out in case it helps anyone reading this thread. This is only the case for children who have their name changed after a year old. If a child is under a year old, the birth certificate gets changed, so there is no declaring of old names of forms - as it is their official birth name if changed before they are under 1 year.

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I didn’t know that?! So if I do it by deed poll will a new birth certificate come through?

OP posts:

Roundofapause · 27/03/2026 20:49

Finchgold · 27/03/2026 19:50

I wouldn’t worry about middle name, you literally never need to use it. I regret my son’s surname but opted not to change it because I didn’t want to saddle him with having a ‘previously known as’ name to put on forms. If he opted to do it in the future I’d be delighted but I think that needs to come from him not me.

Just wanted to point out in case it helps anyone reading this thread. This is only the case for children who have their name changed after a year old. If a child is under a year old, the birth certificate gets changed, so there is no declaring of old names of forms - as it is their official birth name if changed before they are under 1 year.

TakeTheCuntingQuichePatricia · 27/03/2026 20:45

Peoplemakemedespair · 27/03/2026 20:28

I changed all my children’s names without their dad’s consent. You go onto the deed poll website, there’s a part that says something along the lines of ‘does the other parent give consent’, and you lie and click yes. Of course her ex could try and take her to court to have the name changed back, but despite extensive googling at the time, I couldn’t find a single case of this happening or what the penalty might be. No one’s going to prison for removing a child’s name without the exes consent though.

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Well of course you can lie. But I meant legally and (IMO) morally

hyggetyggedotorg · 27/03/2026 20:32

I don’t think anyone uses their middle name that much TBH. You personally don’t ever need to use it. If it was your baby’s first name you disliked or struggled to pronounce I would say don’t hesitate to change it. A middle name seems less important.

My DS is mid 20s & has barely ever used his full first name 😂. It’s on his passport & driving licence of course but he’s only ever been called a shortened version.

Peoplemakemedespair · 27/03/2026 20:28

TakeTheCuntingQuichePatricia · 27/03/2026 19:42

If his dad in on the BC then you can't change it without his consent.

I changed all my children’s names without their dad’s consent. You go onto the deed poll website, there’s a part that says something along the lines of ‘does the other parent give consent’, and you lie and click yes. Of course her ex could try and take her to court to have the name changed back, but despite extensive googling at the time, I couldn’t find a single case of this happening or what the penalty might be. No one’s going to prison for removing a child’s name without the exes consent though.

Original poster

Koijoi · 27/03/2026 20:20

topazornottopaz · 27/03/2026 20:00

Why did you let your ex dictate the name/surname? You had all the power as the unmarried mother

Because I was weak firstly, but also didn’t want to piss the dad off and had the strange idea that I didn’t want him to have my surname which was my step dads, thought it was clearer cut to have the fathers. Messy situation but will hold him to his word if I ever do want to change it. It’s more the documents now though think I should just see what my son wants to do in the future

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Original poster

Koijoi · 27/03/2026 20:13

Because I was weak firstly, but also didn’t want to piss the dad off and had the strange idea that I didn’t want him to have my surname which was my step dads, thought it was clearer cut to have the fathers. Messy situation but will hold him to his word if I ever do want to change it. It’s more the documents now though think I should just see what my son wants to do in the future

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Amiacoolorwarmcolour · 27/03/2026 20:05

I agree that the middle name isn’t that important. The surname however….. it was a mistake not to give your child your surname.
Nothing you can do about that now though.

topazornottopaz · 27/03/2026 20:00

Why did you let your ex dictate the name/surname? You had all the power as the unmarried mother

TakeTheCuntingQuichePatricia · 27/03/2026 19:56

Koijoi · 27/03/2026 19:50

Yeah at the time he said if I ever wanted to change it I could.

He might not agree now though.

DalmationalAnthem · 27/03/2026 19:55

You could remove the middle name and give him your surname as a second surname (no need to hyphenate)

Original poster

Koijoi · 27/03/2026 19:54

Agree with the not having much meaning thing. It’s just the meaning of the middle name as well it translates to “father has done well”.. and his surname is “father” related as well. I sometimes I pretend it means God instead of the actual dad but I think something in me is annoyed as it doesn’t ring true. Some extra info 😅

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Dalmationday · 27/03/2026 19:51

Middle names are not that impactful on your life. First name matters.

surname it is what it is

Original poster

Koijoi · 27/03/2026 19:50

Yeah at the time he said if I ever wanted to change it I could.

OP posts:

Finchgold · 27/03/2026 19:50

I wouldn’t worry about middle name, you literally never need to use it. I regret my son’s surname but opted not to change it because I didn’t want to saddle him with having a ‘previously known as’ name to put on forms. If he opted to do it in the future I’d be delighted but I think that needs to come from him not me.

TakeTheCuntingQuichePatricia · 27/03/2026 19:42

If his dad in on the BC then you can't change it without his consent.