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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Which parent’s last name to give baby?

59 replies

UnexpectedCurveBall · 06/03/2026 11:28

My daughter told us last week she was pregnant. Unplanned and unexpected. She and her boyfriend are only 18. He works, she is coming to the end of her first year at uni (we’re helping her plan for how she can finish her degree with a hybrid of online before going back to in person). They want to keep the baby.

My question is, whose last name would you give the baby? Hers or his?

I was going to type a whole background and explanation to my thoughts, but it was getting to wordy and wasn’t all really relevant. I think hers but my husband was surprised and assumed it would be boyfriend’s last name. I’m curious to know if most think like me or if it’s still assumed babies get their dad’s last name.

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Madthings · 06/03/2026 11:41

UnexpectedCurveBall · 06/03/2026 11:37

These are all the reasons I was thinking of, and did say to her. I did say that the decision is hers but I strongly, strongly advise that the baby needs her last name at the moment. I hope they make it, he is a nice lad, but let’s be honest that statistics are not on their side. if they do end up married down the line, I’d happily pay the deed poll fees myself.

If they later get married they can re register baby/child and get new birth certificates and change surname then. We did this. You legally have to re register baby if you get married after having them its archaic registry lawas but does make a difference especially if they go on to have more children after getting married.

Honestly its a weird law but we caught advice on it and when we were registering to get married the registrar made it clear that we were supposed to re register the children.

WutheringTights · 06/03/2026 11:40

Hers. For all of the practical reasons already mentioned.

Madthings · 06/03/2026 11:39

Hers or both.

I had my eldest son whilst at uni. He is now 26. We stayed together for 20 years and had more children.

I was pressured to give them his surname by mil mainly. We did, but in the end we re registered the children after we got married.. archaic registry laws..then they both got both surnames.

They were always known as myname-hisname by everyone apart from his family. Some of the children have now chosen to drop hisname.

At least double barrel, don't just give his name as others have said its a pita in terms of travel etc.

blankcanvas3 · 06/03/2026 11:38

Hers - I was 16 when I got pregnant and DS took my last name. I’m married to his dad now and we’re all double barrelled.

Original poster
UnexpectedCurveBall · 06/03/2026 11:37

These are all the reasons I was thinking of, and did say to her. I did say that the decision is hers but I strongly, strongly advise that the baby needs her last name at the moment. I hope they make it, he is a nice lad, but let’s be honest that statistics are not on their side. if they do end up married down the line, I’d happily pay the deed poll fees myself.

OP posts:
Scottishskifun · 06/03/2026 11:34

Hers - I think there is a perceived pressure to automatically give a child the fathers surname but unless they are married then it can cause a whole heap of issues down the line if they split up. From passport control to having to obtain letters/permission and carry birth certificates for travelling abroad with them as a child.

If they get married in future then it's pretty easy to change their name by deed poll if both parents sign it.

Hazelnuticecream · 06/03/2026 11:34

Definitely hers. My nieces and nephews have their mum's name as mum and dad were not married (and are no longer together in fact).

I told DH I didn't mind having children without being married but they would be having my name, I think that is one of the factors that drove him to propose!

WhatAMarvelousTune · 06/03/2026 11:31

Hers. But also, up to her. It’s not a decision I’d weigh in on - if she decided to use his I wouldn’t tell her I thought she was wrong.

ShallinloveDelight · 06/03/2026 11:29

Hers. For many reasons but hers definitely.