Can I register our baby without my husbands agreement?

This is just what I was about to say. (I think Clarissa is actually prettier but there really isn’t IMO enough between them to be at loggerheads)

I was going to say you are Unreasonable but than i read about your husband and i 100% take it back his disinterest in compromising after you just grew and birthed a whole human is mind-blowing not to mention your list of names are lovely and his are all absolutely not (my opinion). I dont have a solution but 100% DO NOT give in and name your child something you dont like. Maybe shelf both your lists and make new ones to see if you can find any middle ground (tell him to stop being an Ass and leave Chat Out of it). And i would suggest double barrelling her surname based on the state of your current relationship, will make things much easier for you legally down the line

Because we all know what a challenge that is 🤦‍♀️

If you don't think you will remain married to this man, think about giving her your surname or at least both of your surnames.

If it's any comfort you can legally change a baby's name up to 12 months old and it gets added to the birth certificate. I did this with my DS. Whilst we had agreed in a name I was in the post birth fog and allowed my ex to detail the nickname of the name we'd chosen. I then changed it when my DS was 6 months old.

You can't just add another person as they need to sign the BC themselves.

How did you sign to be on the birth certificate?

Beatrice Phoebe and call her Bea?

Yes, you can. The father only needs to be present if you are not married in the UK.
The husband of the mother can also register a child - mother need not be present.

Is it your first baby? If you do it and don't tell him it probably won't even occur to him.

It is pretty nuclear to register her without him but I think it's one of those situations where what's best legally is at loggerheads with what is best socially.

Absolutely gutted for you, your names are all so lovely. I don't think Beatrice is a good compromise. She deserves a given name you at least like, and Murphy's Law says if you go for an official name you don't like, she'll be adamant she uses it in full from as soon as she learns to talk. FWIW I prefer Beatrix. There must be other Greek names that have a "be" ending, though off hand I can only think of Thisbe and Hebe off the top of my head.

You might need to take both shortlists off the table and each come up with a new set. Both of you agree to come together and focus on the best outcome for her, not scoring points. But I can see why you want to get her registered before he does it especially when you are so vulnerable so soon after the birth. It might be worth ringing up your local registry office and see if they can advise - they must come across these situations.

Beatrice/Beatrix always known as Bea is the obvious compromise here.

I'd have thought this - other option come up with a completey new list and see how he reacts to that - is it one of his or nothing or does he really not like your list?

I would try and find something you both like - but worse case I'd make an appoitment and tell him and say we decide now or I'll register what I think and we then have 12 months to change (think that's right). There is a time limit to get in done in - so I'd point out it can't take forever.

DH and I had a choice for boy/girl from about 20 weeks onwards but that neiter of us was stonewalling the other.

put both your top 3 names in a hat and draw one out.

The issue here is bigger than the baby’s name, he is using this as a way to bully and control you. He is exercising control by refusing a compromise.

I would try one last time to agree, and then register her using both surnames (yours first) and look to divorce asap. I think you are saying the baby is the least of your marital issues.

Tbh, in your situation I would be seriously tempted !
Why cannot he not agree to any of your short listed names?
Unless they are completely out there.
Is he using this as a form of control?
I also believe that youve done the hard physical work of pregnancy,labour,delivery,breast feeding and disturbed sleep and most likely you will be doing the lions share of parenting in the future so you should get to chose the name.

Yes you can register her yourself and since you’re married you can add your husband as the father without him being present. Or not add a father to the birth certificate at all. This is a pretty nuclear option though and he will be able to get himself added by going through the courts.
Honestly I’d just go and register her at this point. You could maybe use his choice of name as a middle name.
Think about what surname you want to use. If you’re going to be divorcing will you want to go back to your maiden name?
You could perhaps use both surnames.
Good luck. Try not to let your husband ruin your time with your baby.

For fun, I plugged your lists into AI. Here are some suggestions it provided as a possible compromise between the two lists:

Iris
Margot / Margaux
Cora
Eloise (nn: Ellie, Lou)
Rosalie / Rosalyn (nn: Rosie)
Amelie
Violet
Josephine (nn: Josie, Posy)
Celeste

I think your lists definitely have a certain vibe in common so maybe you can find one you both love, if you try and meet each other where you're at. :)

I don't know if this helps, OP, but we couldn't agree on a name for our DS. We ended up with something we both sort of liked and whilst I was pregnant, we agreed he would be known as a particular diminutive. When DS was born, I just didn't like the diminutive we agreed on. DS has always, in effect, been called 2 different names by me and my side of the family and DH and his side - (think Alexander and Alex v Xand, but not that). DS seems entirely unaffected and quite likes the 'options' it gives him - he's late teens now.

I think Sophia is lovely, and Beatrice shortened to Bea might be a good solution, though ofc your husband is getting his way more.

Sorry you're in this position at this point in your life. I hope things pick up for you and congratulations on your little daughter.

Exactly this. Plus if you a separating anyway, why care what he thinks. He's had months to talk about this. Forget his controlling games and pick what you want & register her birth yourself. He'll likely find many reasons to berate you. Stand up for yourself and you can show your daughter how to stop a man stealing her light. You deserve to shine bright mumma xx

Did you provide the sperm as well?

Are you not ad-libbing a bit? It sounds like they simply haven't been able to agree.

No it's not. I love the name Phoebe Grace YOUR LAST NAME. But you choose xxx

Your husband had months to talk about this. He's being controlling waiting until now. Be careful he doesn't register her birth without you. Congrats on your new baby and call her what you wish. Please don't just give in and pick one of his names. You grew her, birthed her and looks like you will be raising her without him. Even when parents stay together Dad's end up doing less. Wait to give her a name you love. Phoebe is a lovely name. Congrats on your daughter.

OP I think you have to come up with another list and agree - he can't force his set of names on you either.

I had to do it with my H when he refused any of my names - and we actually ended up with a Phoebe (I'm team Phoebe, clearly!)

I'm not quite clear why everyone's telling you to agree to one of his names when you don't like them. You have to reach agreement on a name that both of you agree. And yes if he's being this arsey, it's entirely predictable that he goes and registers your baby without your consent.

Yes, I'd check with someone legally qualified, as if you are giving a name he's not in agreement with, maybe there will be issues, especially if you're trying to work out custody/finances etc later, and he says you weren't willing to compromise and picked a name he didn't want. A qualified lawyer could tell you whether something like this would even be taken into account as evidence of you disregarding him as a parent-the only case I read about like this was in another country, and the husband (registering alone as is legal for a married couple) put a spelling of the middle name his wife didn't like, and chaos ensued.