Can someone explain the term ‘try hard’ in the context of baby names.

@MysteryNameChange it really isn’t lovely. Imagine going through life as a woman, with a name that is 99.999% of the time used for a man. Constantly having to confirm that yes, you’re a woman, and yes, your name is James. Or when you say your name is James, people wondering what sex you are. Whether you’re a woman with a man’s name, or a very feminine-looking man. Or if you’re trans. Like if a man was called Mary. A lifetime of awkwardness, just because parents wanted to be a bit “different”.

I named my child a name from a foreign country 😮. I can’t speak the language. Loads of names originate in foreign countries. I think it depends how foreign it sounds. No one expects you to have ties to France because you called your dd Amelie do they? If you called her Eun Kyung then yes you probably should have a bit of connection to Korea more than just kpop.

I would say when the name is overly strange and at odds with most people’s idea of names. But it’s usually used for names someone doesn’t personally like - there are unusual names that are very nice so not deemed try hard and instead praised 😁. I’d say Moon Unit was a try hard name and Zowie Bowie. Bowie of course reverted to Duncan Jones as he must have thought the same 😁

I really don't care whether you agree. I stand by my view that if you choose a name from another culture and claim that you're honouring it because great grandfather Anatoliy on one side came from Russia in 1887 then honour that culture properly - otherwise you're doing nothing more than paying lip service to it in your attempt to be unique.

It always makes me laugh when I see people mocking certain baby names on here as 'try-hard' or similar because ultimately, ALL baby name choices are trying hard to be something. A middle-class parent who calls their child Ottilie or Raphael is 'trying' just as hard as a working class parent who calls their child Lilly-Mae or Jaxon, as are parents across the board who call their children George, Emily, Henry and Charlotte.

No, I read their posts on the baby names forum.

Of course you are allowed to be judgey! @MysteryNameChange I don't know where this myth has come from that people don't judge others and you are also entitled to join in with this most human fraility!

I just wanted to point out that, while you declared that you and those who live in your "poncey liberal neighbourhood"- to quote you- would never judge a child's name, you were happy to judge what is a "shit" rough" school. It's worth knowing that we all judge even if we do it without speaking aloud.

You also judge the children in those schools because you admit that your son might not have too easy a time of it in one of those schools-I infer that, from this, you are saying the pupils there would deride his name because they are not liberal.

I certainly hope your child never goes to prison or ever has to live outside your "poncey liberal neighbourhood" but I just wanted to bring it your attention that he might and, if he did find himself living among those who went to a "rough" and "shit" school, then he might find his name judged.

He shouldn't-of course not-but as you point out, he would if he went to their school and I'm just pointing out he cannot avoid them his whole life.

In the meantime, continue to judge and don't pretend that your friends and neighbours in your "poncey Liberal" neighbourhood don't do the same because they will and just like us illiberal types, they will judge names. Care or don't care but a survey found 99 and a half out of 100 people do. The source for this survey is: NamezIssUssAndJamesIsABoyzName. 1921: Authors: Rogers and Hart.

Giving boys names to girls is incredibly sexist.

No one ever gives boys girls names. Because boys names are ‘better’ so it’s fine to give a girl a strong, masculine name but terrible to saddle a boy with a weak, feminine name.

I hate that more than any other form of try-hard, yoonique naming.

And how can you tell the difference? Do you interview the parents and ask about the details of their family history, how educated they are, what languages they speak, what names they really love?

I still don’t agree with your views, especially your implication that parents must be ‘desperate’ to be ‘unique’ and the need to learn the language & culture of another country if they choose a name from that country.

Your comments say more about your world views than that of the parents choosing a name they love (in my opinion).

That is just silly, to give your own child a name you can’t say or spell correctly.

Trying to be cool or trying to be unique. Rather than trying to find a name you love.

Of course they sound a little different. French names like Esmé or Madeleine are pronounced differently by British speakers. Is that a problem?

After I had my son, also a Welsh name, people kept asking me if I spoke Welsh so I ended up learning a bit on Duolingo. I'd really recommend it, it's a fun language and if you learn the alphabet you will no longer struggle to spell your sons name! If you go to north Wales and attempt to speak Welsh people are really nice to you even if you butcher it.

Real life examples being MC middle management people calling their son Bodhi, or that influencer who has a kid called Koazy. Koazy!

Oh, I LOVE Koazy! 💖But I wouldn't dare use it, as I fear that contrarians WOULD insist on mispronouncing it like he's a tea cosy, ☕instead of the proper, beautiful ko-WAAH-zee! 🐨 Just like my Easy is constantly being called "E-Z", like the instant noodles 🍝. It's pronounced ee-YAAW-zee, people 🌶- was that really so difficult ??!!?? 🙄

Lots of versions of try hard. It’s absolutely not just a classist statement, but of course some could use it that way. It is more about trying to prove something with the name. If that’s class, importance, originality, or something else. I think anyone naming their child Princess Banana Boat of the Morning would be try hard. But also think someone naming their child Luke Skywalker is try hard, for a different reason. Naming your child Trevor and spelling it Treyvehour is try hard because you’re trying WAY too hard to be original without actually eve being original. Ye know?

What is the name? That’s the only way we will be able to tell you specifically why it is try hard.

My sons name is possibly try hard.
IT's a welsh name, honohring our welsh heritage and grandparents.
We have only been to Wales three times. We don't speak Welsh.
It'ss very hard to spell and even I don't spell it correctly all the time.
It also sounds like a popular 'common' name, so it looks like we just did a weird spelling of a common name.

😂

Agree with the sentiment of the OP. If you don't like the name, or you think a child with said name could be teased or worse, then say so.

@Mariammaom , but the names tend not to sound the same in a British accent.

Go on, admit it: you called her Ayslhyn didn’t you? 😃

What the hell is wrong with Jane or Mary?

I find it funny that someone's desperation to be unique in this way can be undone so easily. It's a good life lesson - go fo a name you both like. Don't try too hard to be unique because there's every possibility that the same name will crop up in your child's life - and when a fellow Anatoliy turns up in your child's class, at least be able to show your awareness of the culture and traditions you're purporting to honour through your use of the name.

Oooh! When was this roughly? There was a Pebbles at my DC1's nursery, he's 16 now.

I neither find it funny that two boys have same Italian name nor do I feel you sound ignorant naming your son Otto or Anatole without speaking German or Greek fluently.

This thread shows how different some people view parents’ intentions - I guess we’re all influenced by our own upbringing and how open minded our community is.

Yes it's derogatory, and says more about the speaker than the person they're sneering at. The fact that people here have at least 3 different views of who it is for sneering at supports that view.
FWIW I think Persimmon is a beautiful name, whereas names like Paige, Tyler, Scout, Piper, Carter and Mason make me wonder why.
But in the end they are just people who luckily have a name we can call them by.

@OneBookTooMany

I think I'm allowed to be judgy about crap schools because I went to one. It's not even a class thing it's a shitty small town suburban thing. I think it's pretty unlikely my son would end up in prison, but surely being in jail is pretty shit no matter what your name is? He's currently incredibly nerdy and a bit socially awkward so I'd be pretty surprised if he chose a career working in the criminal justice system when he's older but I'm sure he'd manage if that's what he wants to do. It's not Jaxxon or anything like that it's just an unusual Welsh name.

I'm not totally daft. I use a shortened cutesy name for my daughter which is what everyone calls her but her actual name is more sensible incase she wants to do something super serious like be a barrister or something when she's older.