He doesn’t look how I pictured a Joseph

We had a preferred name in mind when each of our DC were born. But both times we didnt feel it suited them, once we saw them
DD has the original name as a middle name, but for DS we chose a different name altogether

Our DD was Keriana for two days - had been set on it throughout pregnancy. Imagined a dark-haired girl with olive skin. Turned out blonde and blue-eyed. Day 3 we changed it to Polly and aged 19, she confirms she much prefers that!

Not the point of the thread but - I hope adamant isn’t going to be your husband’s attitude to every aspect of parenting.

Can he not comprehend that your child’s name should be something you both want?

I would take the colouring out of it- he doesn’t look like his name to you and that’s fine. Your husband needs to be more understanding and open to a new name.
would a shortened name help- eg. Does he look like a Jo or jojo or j?

Blue eyed babies, with brown eyed parents, change colour over the coming months. My very blonde DS was completely brown by the age of 3! But this wasn’t surprising because neither of us are blonde.
Stick with Joseph, it’s a lovely name 😀

I always think of a blonde boy when I hear Joseph.
I think subconsciously you picture someone you know.
OP said she pictured Joe Wicks because her and her partner both have dark curly hair so now I’m imagining op’s partner looks like him.

I pictured a little blonde boy with blue eyes because most of the Joseph’s I know are.

I had the opposite with DS2. Like a PP we had a short list of 3 names. (6 short, 3x girls, 3x boys.)
Joshua had been suggested and I said no on the basis it's been in the top 5 forever so really common.
As soon as DS was born I knew his name was Joshua. We joke he might as well have been born with it tattooed on his forehead. And we've actually only met a handful of Joshua's a similar age.

Congrats!!!

Pp hormones are a wild ride!!!

I think maybe your problem is your baby doesn't look how he is supposed to"

We stuck with our names...

Weirdly
Ds didnt look ANYTHING like he was supposed to and now i think his name is perfect and love it so much...

And dd did looks exactly as pictured and i loved her name but now shes 3 i really dont think she suits her name and dont like.it that much but we are stuck with it 😅

Also my blonde baby now has very dark brown hair... things change!!
Eyes colour is also v different from birth....blue to deep hazel by 6m....

Be kind and take your time.
Joseph is a great name

We were going to call my DS one name and when he arrived we decided it didn’t suit him and changed it.

Ds was born on Friday with the palest complexion and bright blonde hair and bright blue eyes

Wouldn't base it on either hair colour or eye colour.

One of my kids was born with very bright blue eyes. They turned brown within a few months. The rest of my kids born with blue eyes, stayed blue, but I don’t believe you can base it on birth colour!

Same with hair. Not my own kids, but one side of my family, all born as very blonde blondes. Some turned brown as young children and while their hair had shifted to a sandy blonde by time starting school, by around 8yo it had turned brown. The rest of them remained blonde through and during last few senior years in high school did quite a rapid turn to brown and they all end up as a dark blackish brown. It has been that way for three generations I know of on that side of the family. So blonde baby does not necessarily mean blonde child, does not mean blonde adult!

Why can’t a Joseph be blond? We’ve got a blond and a ginger Joseph in our family. It never occurred to me that they should have dark hair. 🤷🏻‍♀️

We didn’t name our daughter until she was 41 days old- and decided on her middle name on the way to register it 😄. We just called her Baby till then which suited her 🤣.

I’d say don’t rush, sit with it for a while. He might grow into a Joseph (and is likely to end up dark I’d say.)

And congratulations!!!🥳

If he doesn’t suit it then try some others.

I also had blonde hair as a child and it’s dark now. My dd had blue eyes for nearly a year and then they turned hazel and now brown.
It’s such a popular name there will be hundreds of different looking Joseph’s around.

Joseph is a beautiful name. Stick with it.

He’ll probably turn darker, and if he doesn’t we had a similar experience - the only name we could agree on seemed not to suit our baby as a newborn, but now he’s older it is 100% him. It took months of it seeming slightly mismatched, I think for us because it’s just not a very ‘baby’ name and no obvious shortenings either (everyone kept trying but they were all awful!) So my vote is stick with it.( Partly because I love the name Joseph and my DH vetoed it.)

It’s a lovely name. I have a Joseph/Joe. He was always Joe. He looks like a Joe ❤️

Joseph is a lovely strong name for a boy.
I know lots of blonde Joseph’s probably more than dark but when you get a picture in your head of someone with that name it’s hard to see past. Joseph has so many variations J, Joe, Joey I think he’ll own it.

This. I was born with loads of absolutely jet black hair but was very light blonde by the time I was about three!

Ps with our next Dc I couldn't find a name I was happy with at all so gave up and DH was clearer on one he liked so I welcomed that then though still didn't feel that keen on that choice (nor any alternative I could come up with ! ). 3 years on I really love the name so I do think one sometimes grows into a name .

I have a blonde and blue eyed Joseph if it's any consolation 😊

I understand how you feel as changed our DS' name from the one we had most likely chosen . I discussed the change with DH so soon after birth when I announced he simply isn't George (still no idea what I was expecting or why I felt so strongly but we had another name both liked too and haven't looked back!)
in your case it's trickier as your DH is reluctant but I understand your strength of feeling . Not very helpful but I'm not too sure what I would do in your position other than keep communicating with your DH about how you both feel as choosing a name can be quite an irrational process imo! And hope that leads to more resolution somehow

I have really dark brown hair. My Dc's father has dark brown hair.

Both of our children were bright blonde until they were 3 😅

Every year that goes by their hair gets darker and darker. I had mousy brown hair as a child and dark as an adult.

The look of someone changes as they grow older. Its possible.

Joseph to me is a blonde curly haired boy with green eyes, it's a family name and every Joseph has been fair despite us all being quite mixed!

Your Joseph will grow into his name and one day you think back and realise he never suited anything but what he is called.