6.5 month old and changing their name

We used a longer version of DS2s name with the intention of only calling him the short version. But actually I find myself using the longer version most of the time! He prefers the short and introduces himself as this L. As they get older their own preference takes priority.

If you're thinking of changing your daughter's name to the nickname eg. Libby, then your husband needs to be in agreement. The problem is, you've both picked a long name - eg. Elizabeth but you aren't really that keen on it. You liked the nickname Libby, but your husband doesn't, so he's using an alternative nickname!! Why on earth did you both agree to names, you didn't really like??? You should have picked a name (and if necessary a nickname) you both liked. I'd keep the original long name. Let your daughter decide what nickname she wants to use, as she becomes older. Your older daughter needs to be encouraged to either use her sister's long name or a proper nickname, not a random made-up word.

@koalabearboombox yes, sorry, I wasn't suggesting you're being unreasonable, I completely agree that you should go with the version you like best! I meant don't worry about changing the BC, but I see you've decided to keep the longer version 'officially'. My sister has a long name which has loads of shorter versions, I was always quite envious as mine gets lengthened in to non-names (Meemes for example), or I get called a short version of my maiden name, and my partner calls me by a completely different nickname as using my actual name sounds so formal.

Ds has a long name (his non- English gf's) and we have always called him by a shortened version, the first half of his name which is a popular name in uk. Once ds started school he wanted to be known by his long name and for the most part he was. At university though most people just called him by the short name and I think he has accepted that (long name is a bit difficult to pronounce). I have changed the spelling of the short name as I always spelt it the English way but now use the actual first half of his name spelling.

My friends son is called Alfred. When he was a baby I was asking her is it Alfred, Alf, Alfie, Freddie?? He’s called Fred!😆

I wouldn’t mess with her first name legally. My mum changed my first name and it’s such a pita when doing dbs checks and passports. Call her verbally what you like but I’d leave her legal name as is

My son has a given first name but is known by a nickname for this name. I like that he has a "formal" name and a name he can choose people to use. I have a very short very popular name and I'd love to have something a little more formal. People will call her what you tell them to call her because she's a baby.

I have two children with longer names and nicknames - one not a natural nickname. Just something we wanted to do. Our eldest has decided he wants to be know as the long name in most circles not the nickname from about Y1 (he's now Y3). He gets a variation on his name depending on the background of the person too. His long name is Henry, family have always called him Harry. His PE teacher calls him Hazzer and holiday club call him H.

I'd keep the names as they are as eventually they will decide what they prefer.

How funny- we also had a long name that only direct family call my DH. Plus a nickname we liked. Grandparents called her another nickname derivation and other people different variations.

In year 5 aged 10 she told everyone she was the boys version of the name ( so ignored all other nicknames and chose what she wanted) and since then everyone has called her that apart from us. To her friends she is X Nickname and to us she is long proper name.

Your child will decide !!

Love this 🤣 she's a genius ! I'd also completely ignore them if they used the wrong name and act all innocent like oh sorry that's not my name so I didn't realise you were talking to me .

I understand, my son has a name like this (but I do also like the full version) I just introduce him as the short version that we prefer, and everyone calls him by the name.. He's 4, and MIL still calls him the other version sometimes and he says "why are you calling me that, I'm name we use" so I don't think your issue will last forever.

My cousin is Elizabeth, was only ever Lily as a child. Then she decided she preferred Liz, and has now been Beth for decades, but never Elizabeth! She is still referred as both Liz and Beth within the family. I also know Lotties who are now back to being Charlottes as adults. Keep the original version on the BC, I envy the flexibility as I have a very short name, all my nicknames have actually been longer than the original and are not ‘real’ names.

My sister is Victoria but she and my mother hate Vicky. My mother told everyone she came across is they shorted it to call her Ria which both my mother and sister like. My sister corrects anyone who calls her Vick or Vicky to Ria. When I speak to her friends now if I see them in passing and say Victoria they are always confused and say 'oh Ria'. It works. Just do that.

I have a quite long name and then people use different shorter versions, mostly depending on the relationship.

I like it like that and I’d hate for my mother to have made my actual name a nickname, as an adult my long/actual name sounds much better in professional capacities etc.

lol what why does it “rile you right up” when someone calls him by the name that you gave him?!

I mean I can understand a gentle correction - “actually he prefers to be called Jimmy instead of James” - but to get all annoyed is a bit much!

No need to re register but YANBU to insist on either the full name, or the short name you prefer. And remind people every single time! They might think you are being precious but that's their problem. Also always use the name that you prefer and say their name whenever you talk about your dd. Go a bit over the top for a while.
When they are older they can choose for themselves how they wish to be known, until then you get the say.
If DH doesn't like your preferred nickname he can use her full name.
Our DD answers to her long name or our chosen short name equally, she was quite cross when a teacher used a different but more common short form of her name.

DC2 has a short name that I didn't think could be shortened more, it can! and it really annoys me! So I told people that I didn't like it, not rudely but I was clear and people stopped, apart from the odd slip up. The ones that still shorten occasionally it aren't doing it to prove their point though because then I would get cross

I don’t understand the thought process here though. Surely your husband would need to agree to changing her name? He’s not going to - I wouldn’t, in that situation.

Talk about bulldozing your way in…

Have you talked to your husband about this?
Does he know that you prefer the nickname Libby over the nickname Lizzie?
Can you talk to him about it?
Perhaps he doesn't have a strong opinion about it, maybe he just happened to start calling your daughter Lizzie.

I'd just be consistent with what you call her and she won't be confused if dh calls her the longer/different nickname. My dgd has a long name on her bc and my dm insists on calling her that (though she keeps getting it wrong) but everyone else calls her the much shorter nickname. She's only 18 months but dd1 will just say her name is x known as y when she goes to school. Of course dgd might have other ideas but at the moment loves telling people her name.

I think you should change it, you can't control what nicknames people call her and it will bother you forever. Just do it before she turns one and you don't even need to legally change it, just let the registrar know. Lots of people change their babies names before they turn one.

Eventually your child will decide

My dd has a long name that splits in half to form two other names. I always preferred the 2nd half. But ex and much of family liked the 1st half. It was an annoyance to me.

When she got to about 8 she started expressing that she prefered the 2nd half. She is in her late teens now and gets really angered by the family members who insist on calling her a name she been asking them not to half her life. "But its what I want to call you" is what she gets in response.

So she wrong names them back!! Paul is now Pete. Michelle is Mindy. Sarah is Sally etc and if they protest "But its what I want to call you"

I had the same with my daughter.
Longer name full name but nickname preferred, initially the longer name used but honestly as they've got older now an older child and able to tell people what she prefers to be called (the nickname) I don't even give it any thought.
I wouldn't even bother changing it on their certificate, her name will evolve as she grows.

I just feel you're overthinking the whole thing and the issue is more in your head than in real life. I really dont get why people complicate the life of children by using such uncommon names or giving them a name they don't want to be called by. Why did you give her the long name in the first place if you didnt want it anyway?