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Original poster

Losing the plot over middle name being passed on!

44 replies

Lalalandy · 28/10/2025 10:18

We gave a variation of my middle name to our daughter as her first name - not intentional, or as a namesake, but because we both genuinely loved the name/couldn’t agree on another (which now seems ridiculous!). I thought of it as a completely different name. So it’s a little like my middle name being Anne and her first name being Anna, or my middle name being Julie and her first name Juliet.

This wkd someone was asking everyone’s middle names and went ‘ahhhh sweet’ when I said mine - as in ‘how cute you named your daughter after yourself’!!! It’s making me feel very uncomfortable/sad/anxious - like I was either self-indulgent or very unimaginative ☹️ I hope my daughter doesn’t find it strange when she’s older 😣

Am I being crazy?!

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EmotionallyWeird · 28/10/2025 19:12

ToeJob · 28/10/2025 16:37

William and Kate gave their second son their first son’s middle name as a first name! If it’s good enough for royalty…

They weren't the first either. Prince Andrew's fourth name is Edward, and George VI and his brothers shared several names (at least three of them had George in their name somewhere).

Moreteaandchocolate · 28/10/2025 19:08

PucaBandearg · 28/10/2025 10:26

  1. you didn't do it intentionally
  2. it's a perfectly normal thing to do, if you did do it intentionally
  3. no one will care!

Agreed!

WinterNightStars · 28/10/2025 17:52

Dont worry about it, people have an opinion on everything. When our eldest DC was born & we announced her arrival & name people said how lovely that we’d named her after my mum - erm we didn’t! It’s not the same name at all & only vaguely similar, & definitely not picked up on by us!

Original poster
Lalalandy · 28/10/2025 17:18

OhDear11 - I didn’t really mean cute and I meant as an older girl/teenager vs 40 when indeed not much is cute! Hopefully she won’t care as you say/think about it - and my obsessing about it shortly ends! Thanks for the patience x

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OhDear111 · 28/10/2025 17:10

@Lalalandy No one finds anything cute when they are 40. I don’t entirely see why she would care. I had exactly the same very unusual name as DM - both first names. That’s truly odd and annoying. Everyone should have three forenames for choice!

Original poster
Lalalandy · 28/10/2025 17:00

Such wise words! I just hate the thought of having done something that might make her cringe or find weird when she’s older 😢 Anyway, thank you everyone so much.

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ToeJob · 28/10/2025 16:37

William and Kate gave their second son their first son’s middle name as a first name! If it’s good enough for royalty…

TenGreatFatSquirrels · 28/10/2025 15:13

Yes you’re being crazy. Nobody cares. Men do it all the time.

Whereismyfleeceblanket · 28/10/2025 14:49

My mate's ex left her for ow. (They had 2 dc..) Ex and ow had twins and named them after themselves.. My mate had to hear ow's name 100 times a day when her dc were talking about their half siblings.

TigerRag · 28/10/2025 14:37

GriGreen · 28/10/2025 13:36

I know parents who named their child her maiden name.

So Miss Garry, married Mr Barry. Mr & Mrs Barry have a child called Garry Barry. You wouldn’t know unless you asked.

I used to know someone who gave her child her maiden name as his first name. She then got divorced and had to keep all the children's surnames as their fathers else the child would have been for example James James

GriGreen · 28/10/2025 13:36

I know parents who named their child her maiden name.

So Miss Garry, married Mr Barry. Mr & Mrs Barry have a child called Garry Barry. You wouldn’t know unless you asked.

Original poster
Lalalandy · 28/10/2025 13:33

Lalalandy · 28/10/2025 13:32

And no, no one has ever mentioned it negatively. I actually like the idea of passing on middle names, but the fact that’s it’s a variation of my middle name as her first! But like the example I gave, two similar looking names like Anne and Anna for example feel v different. Hopefully she’ll find it cute when older!

i have terrible anxiety/OCD and in the midst of it struggle to identify real issues vs random thoughts that don’t matter. Thanks for everyone’s kindness.

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*or better, not even notice/think of it!!

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Original poster
Lalalandy · 28/10/2025 13:32

Lalalandy · 28/10/2025 13:29

Hahaha - thank you for talking sense!

Show quote history

And no, no one has ever mentioned it negatively. I actually like the idea of passing on middle names, but the fact that’s it’s a variation of my middle name as her first! But like the example I gave, two similar looking names like Anne and Anna for example feel v different. Hopefully she’ll find it cute when older!

i have terrible anxiety/OCD and in the midst of it struggle to identify real issues vs random thoughts that don’t matter. Thanks for everyone’s kindness.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lalalandy · 28/10/2025 13:29

JudgeBread · 28/10/2025 12:44

Mate I've got the same name as my dog, who cares? You're way overthinking this.

It also seems like you're assuming that's what everyone was thinking. Did anyone actually say it? In a negative way?

Hahaha - thank you for talking sense!

OP posts:
Floofle · 28/10/2025 13:18

a) nobody really cares about middle names!
b) it's actually quite nice IMO!

Both my kids have family names as middle names, my DD has my DH's sister/aunt/granny's name, and my son has my Dad's name (also his father, and his father, about 7 generations back).

Scunnered12 · 28/10/2025 13:01

My name is also a noun (think Hope) and after nearly being murdered by my ex while pregnant, I gave my child my name as a double barrelled name first name. We only survived because of each other. Once they are older, they can drop it if they wish, but they have turned out just like the noun <3

honeylulu · 28/10/2025 12:57

My daughter has my first name as a middle name. Mainly because I really like the name and it's one of those traditional timeless names that everyone knows how to pronounce and spell and won't date badly, but I'm well aware people will think it's "after me" and it sort of is, but so what?

One of my friends did say "oh is it a family name?" as if I chose it because it had been passed down generations (it hasn't). But I just said no, I just like it and we moved on.

ladygindiva · 28/10/2025 12:46

I used my name as my first daughter's middle name and have no shame about it 🤣 fwiw it's a fabulous name and also my nans name so it was a no brainer especially as I grew her for 9 months

JudgeBread · 28/10/2025 12:44

Mate I've got the same name as my dog, who cares? You're way overthinking this.

It also seems like you're assuming that's what everyone was thinking. Did anyone actually say it? In a negative way?

SparkyBlue · 28/10/2025 12:43

You are definitely overthinking. Just take no notice. One of my DC has the same name as DH and it’s also my late FILs name and it’s also a common name on my mums side of the family so I definitely see nothing wrong with using family names.

Nearly50omg · 28/10/2025 12:40

Since my mum died I find it a great comfort I have her name as my middle name - sort of like she’s still part of me? So don’t worry about it.

Dollymylove · 28/10/2025 12:32

Its a strange thing to get anxious over. I know a mother and daughter, Yvonne and Yvette. Nobody gives it a second thought

ComtesseDeSpair · 28/10/2025 12:19

Overthinking. Just say “it wasn’t intentional, we both liked the name and only really clocked it afterwards, but yes, it’s quite cute when you think about it.”

I can’t see what’s “self indulgent” about using a family name. It’s considered perfectly normal for men: I’m married to a man who has the same name as his dad, his grandfather, his great-grandfather and his great-great grandfather. And my mum has her mum’s and her grandmother’s names as middle names. It’s a nice nod to the family line.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 28/10/2025 12:18

You’re overthinking.
My dd’s middle name is my first name (i know you’ve done it the other way around). Deliberately. It’s not an unusual thing to do.

Bbq1 · 28/10/2025 12:04

Family names used as first names and middle names is very common in my family. People like to do it for family connections. Op, being anxious about it and worrying if you've been "self indulgent" is a massive and weird over reaction. What does it matter? Friend made a nice comment IMHO.

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