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Baby names

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I want to change my baby name (6 months old)

60 replies

GG300 · 25/10/2025 02:17

I am having quite a strong baby name regret. My husband and I couldn’t agree on a name at the time so we came to a ‘middle ground’ that neither of us loved but we came to an agreement on. I used one of my first choice name as a middle name.

the first name has never quite sat perfectly with me. It’s quite uncommon and is often met by surprise/questioning as to why we have picked it.

I feel after 6 months the name should fit and it just doesn’t. Everytime I say it or hear someone say it it makes me feel almost a little uncomfortable.

I think I would like to change to her middle name but am worried about judgement. However I am more worried that I will regret this name forever

OP posts:
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ClareVoiance · 29/10/2025 10:46

@FeelTheRush , I can't remember when I saw it, but there were letters from her to her sister when she was at university, and she signed them as Hilda. It was decades ago - how she had 'become' Mrs Thatcher from being Hilda, the dowdy daughter of a Grantham grocer.
It was well-known at the time (probably 1980-ish), just as we know now about Gideon and Al. The articles were in colour supplements. Probably about a biography.

That article is quite superficial. It was quite usual in the first half of the 20th century to be named after relatives. (I'm not that old BTW)
Opting to use your middle name - as each of these party leaders did - it doesn't tell you, for example, whether Mr Wilson or Mr Brown were called James by their parents. Both had fathers called James.

At school, it was quite usual for someone to be John Name Surname, Thomas Name Surname, Margaret Name Surname, etc. with many of them known by the middle name.
I can think of several, including in my extended family. My granddad was Robert Francis Thompson, known as Bob, My uncle was something like Robert Francis Thompson, known as Robin, his son Robert Andrew Thompson known as Andy, his son, Robert Fraser Thompson, known as Fraser etc, with a few of his cousins also Robert Something Thompson.

Name styles have changed - having 2 middle names was not common, double-barrelled surnames rare, and not having a middle name unremarkable.

FeelTheRush · 29/10/2025 01:38

softlyfallsthesnow · 27/10/2025 00:23

@ClareVoiance I've never heard that she was called Hilda, apart from disparagingly when she was pm, so I'm a bit surprised. I'll take your word for it.

I've also never heard that she used Hilda - this article (BBC) does reference PMs who have used their middle names, but she was not one of them:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/election_2010/7024197.stm

BBC News - Hilda or Leonard? What's in a name?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/election_2010/7024197.stm

ClareVoiance · 28/10/2025 19:36

Yes and some of us find it a PITA. I'd swap the names round.

EmotionallyWeird · 28/10/2025 19:22

Since the name you prefer is her middle name already, I wouldn't bother formally changing it. A lot of people use their middle names.

ClareVoiance · 27/10/2025 12:50

I don't necessarily think it's ridiculous, but from chats with similarly afflicted friends is that those who have a relative's name (e.g. Margaret or Thomas aftera grandparent) as the unused first name are OK with it but the others not.

I would not recommend doing it to a child.

My name didn't flow at all, and it still doesn't.

HandRandH · 27/10/2025 12:38

I really wish I had formally changed mine a long time ago.

ClareVoiance · 27/10/2025 12:37

Same here @HandRandH . My parents didn't really help. Mum said 'Just don't use it' or 'but Nicola from Number 46 likes her name' - well it was her name, not mine.
Dad was awful, because he'd deliberately use it and go on to explain what it meant, blah blah, blah. Bully! Didn't they even care that I hated it?

The name itself is fine, I just didn't identify with it. (The name isn't Nicola but it's from that era). If they'd acknowledged that I didn't like it, it would have helped a lot.
I changed my name aged 18. It's not an issue other than I sometimes need to provide a copy of BC, deed poll and passport instead of BC & passport.
You rarely need to do this.

HandRandH · 27/10/2025 12:09

ClareVoiance · 27/10/2025 07:51

How would you know if it was?
I doubt that the schools went to knew that I found being known by my middle name was a PITA.

You are probably more aware of the name Mohammed being used as the first name but the child known by the middle name than you would if the name was something like Arthur James known as James or Amelia Grace known as Grace.

Edited

Yes, I do agree with this.

My parents know it was a PITA for me as I constantly complained to them as a teenager but I don’t think anybody other than them know, although I do try to tell people if I hear anyone deciding to do this ridiculous thing!

Lockdownsceptic · 27/10/2025 12:06

We looked into this years ago and discovered to our surprise that it was a lot easier to change a birth certificate than it was to change a name given it baptism.

ClareVoiance · 27/10/2025 07:51

Anewuser · 27/10/2025 07:26

We have a lot of Muslim families at our school. Quite a few children are called Mohammed on the register but known by a different first name. Doesn’t seem to cause a problem for them.

How would you know if it was?
I doubt that the schools went to knew that I found being known by my middle name was a PITA.

You are probably more aware of the name Mohammed being used as the first name but the child known by the middle name than you would if the name was something like Arthur James known as James or Amelia Grace known as Grace.

Anewuser · 27/10/2025 07:26

We have a lot of Muslim families at our school. Quite a few children are called Mohammed on the register but known by a different first name. Doesn’t seem to cause a problem for them.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 27/10/2025 04:08

GG300 · 25/10/2025 03:07

Thanks for your reply. How was this met by family and friends?

Honestly, who cares?
If you and your dh agree then just do it. Tell people the initial choice just didn't sit well or seem to fit. End of.

softlyfallsthesnow · 27/10/2025 00:23

@ClareVoiance I've never heard that she was called Hilda, apart from disparagingly when she was pm, so I'm a bit surprised. I'll take your word for it.

77yearsyoung · 26/10/2025 21:38

My sister and I are both called by our middle names. Occasionally if someone sees my full name written and calls me by my first Christian name I'm unaware they are talking to me. But then that's never been a problem. I'm glad I get to use my middle name as I don't like the other one.

Terrytheweasel · 26/10/2025 21:36

JaneEyre40 · 26/10/2025 21:01

Sorry what? Do you mean Iris????

No Isis. It’s a girls name but unfortunately the terrorist organisation became notorious following her birth so they changed the name. There are still many people still called Isis though.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 26/10/2025 21:04

DaniJP · 25/10/2025 22:28

Change it to what you love. This happened to me with my third. Thought I was having a boy. Already had two boys. Didn’t really plan girls names. She arrived I was rushed, pressured etc. 5 months on I got regret. Spoke to my husband who thought it was ridiculous. No way.
Waited a month, he agreed. Agonised over it for another few weeks, I felt quite embarrassed and was so anxious.
Did it officially at the registry office as soon as I did a weight lifted. Told closest family. Then did a social media post once we got used to it. People were so supportive.

I look back and laugh now, she has just turned 3.

For me not changing it and regretting would have been worse. Now no one even remembers.

It really shouldn't be a massive deal should it...

A bit Iof mild curiosity from family /friends and then they should get used to /use the new name...

Pal's daughter has recently changed her name to a completely different name... No issue... I'm doing my best to call them by their new name... That's it...

I'm sure parents worry more than needed.

Any naysayers??! They're idiots... It's really not their decision /business is it?!

JaneEyre40 · 26/10/2025 21:01

Terrytheweasel · 25/10/2025 06:49

A couple of family members were a bit funny about it but don’t worry, they’ll adapt to the change, it took a few months to a year. Baby won’t know the difference.

Officially on their passport, doctors, school etc. they are the original name but I always write ‘known as X’ and it’s never an issue.

Funnily enough, I discovered many people are known by their middle names - even Boris Johnson! Also, a friend originally named their daughter Isis and decided to do the same.

Sorry what? Do you mean Iris????

Beauy · 26/10/2025 20:59

DisorganisedMummyTurningOrgnaised · 26/10/2025 12:02

We did the same as you but one question I did have is if going forward he will always have to declare he had another name at birth? You know in legal forms where is asks if you’ve ever been known by something else, will we always have to put yes and his original name?

I’ve wondered the same thing. I think I might have for his first passport - but I don’t think I have since (including passport renewals). I probably wouldn’t worry about it now unless his long birth certificate was being used for ID (just to avoid confusion)

ClareVoiance · 26/10/2025 20:32

@softlyfallsthesnow . She was Margaret Hilda known as Hilda. A few of the former PMs went by the middle name.
I know some people IRL who have gone from being known as middle name to using the first name as adults. Usually the first name is 'easier' (spelling/pronunciation/background etc) than the middle name.

Anyway OP, probably best to change it officially at this stage to avoid future hassles, as long as your OH is ok with it. ...

Agree

softlyfallsthesnow · 26/10/2025 20:00

@ClareVoiance
Boris Johnson is Alexander/Al to his family. He used his middle name publicly to make himself stand out. Other former PMs used their first or middle names, notably Hilda Thatcher.
I'm pretty sure her first name was actually Margaret.

Anyway OP, probably best to change it officially at this stage to avoid future hassles, as long as your OH is ok with it. It used to be quite common to be known by your middle name - presumably first name was after family members . My DGM spent a lot of time in hospital and got very fed up being called Elizabeth since she'd never been known as that.

theprincessthepea · 26/10/2025 19:36

My name was switched by deed poll by my parents 6+ months later - this was 30+ years ago. I’m kind of glad they did it as my previous first name was a very traditional name and suites better as a middle name.

Naming children is so hard and a lot of it is gut and intuition so I’d change it while I can (and while they are still young)

edited to correct a typo

BigAnne · 26/10/2025 18:34

ClareVoiance · 25/10/2025 14:12

Funnily enough, I discovered many people are known by their middle names - even Boris Johnson!
Boris Johnson is Alexander/Al to his family. He used his middle name publicly to make himself stand out. Other former PMs used their first or middle names, notably Hilda Thatcher.

At 6 months, I'd officially swap the names on the BC. I'm a Nicola Clare known as Clare, and I'd much rather be Clare Nicola, to avoid the situations where people assume I'm a Nicola/Nicky. The name's OK but I don't identify as one.

@GG300 , it doesn't really matter what the family think, it's what you and the baby's father's baby, and ultimately the baby think that matters.

We have a baby in the family, and unless it grows on me, I'd be quite pleased if they changed it. Smile

Edited

BC can't be altered if you live in Scotland. Not sure about the rest of the UK.

Weald56 · 26/10/2025 18:18

My mother used her second name; so did my Aunt (her sister), and two of their (four) brothers. In fact looking through my family tree, I can see it's not at all unusual. So I wouldn't worry about any judgements.

knor · 26/10/2025 18:06

I don’t have experience with this but I’d say just change it asap so it’s not confusing for baby and others.
especially if you’re going to go for the middle name, not that much of a change.
might be a cute/funny family story in the future

NamesNamesGoAway · 26/10/2025 17:23

No advice but just came here to say I'm in the same boat with my 8 week old :(

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