Can you politely tell people 'don't nickname my daughter'

Would be odd to 'nickname' or touch a stranger, but it's affectionate to nickname and touch people/kids you know.

If you didn't know someone well it would seem overly familiar, but if it's a friend/ realtive it seems quite natural to me.

You should take this into account when choosing a name.

I loved the name Elizabeth, but there are so many shortenings and variations I didn't like it would make me reluctant to choose it. You can control it while they're young, to a certain extent (at the risk of making yourself look, and feel, uptight) but once school starts, you have no control.

If you wouldn't do it to an adult, why do it to a child? I think this about a lot of things, like strangers touching kids. You don't go up to a strange adult and rub their hair, why do it to a child?

I really don't get why it would bother anyone.

Nicknames are affectionate - people generally feel affectionate towards their friends' kids and imo playing around with their names shows warmth. It is the norm in many cultures and I really think some names don't 'sit' well on young kids. It's great that their parents chose them and when they're older they may well want to be called by them but until then I think it's kind of rude to pick people up. I, for one, would be - if not offended - a bit

I have friends who do it to me and I like the fact that they have their own unique nickname for me rather than my very ordinary full name!

I just say my Dds name after they have called her the 'wrong' one!
So they say Isn't Zen tall? I say Yes Zazen is tall. DD also corrects people and now gets them to 'say XY with her'.

They get it eventually

although in all honesty, after raising three of my own and insisting that they are referred to by their correct names, I have learned that it is a total waste of time and effort. They are now 27, 23 and 18 - and no-one else, apart from me and DH call them by their proper names.
Then there's GS - he's five, but insists that everyone at school calls him by the shortened version of his name (he's done this since he was 3 and I absolutely hate it), once again, we are the only ones who use his full name - no matter what you say to people, they will use whatever the child wants them to use.

PFBitis I'm afraid, as they get older other people will call them what they will. Are you really going to go around all their mates and say "excuse me his/her name is actually X"?, are you going to listen in to every lesson, every extra curricular activity and correct people?
Actually i think it's pretty rude to correct other people's speech in virtually any way, and suspect that even if they correct how they address your offspring will still think under their breath.

I agree in principle with just politely correcting anyone using the abbreviated version of your DCs name.

However, I find it difficult to put this into practise. DD is Catriona and her cousin calls her Katy, pronounced in a north Bavarian accent it is Kaadi. It makes me shudder. I have said to her that her name is Catriona but she still uses Kaaaadiii. shudder

DD was asked today if she has a nickname and she answered, "Cat", so perhaps she will do this with her cousin. If not we will live with it.

Yes, very simpley you just say, Do not my child [whatever], her name is Elizabeth/Eliza

FIL insists on caling DS2 by a hsortened version of his name. I have used his prefered name very loudly and often in his presence, asked DH to have a word about it (he won't - typical) and finally told DS2 to tell Grandad that he doesn't like being called it. DS2 did tell Grandad but Grandad said that he prefers to call him the shortened name

with other people, I say in mock horror "You didn't call him Tom did you?!" That usually works but doesn't seem to with FIL

Message withdrawn

My sister has a name that you can shorten umpteen different ways - Kathryn - and when I was a kid I always wished I did too. As people tend to identify your personality from your name (until they know you better of course) you can then be called whatever you want.

Both my DCs are called longer names but we have shortened them. When they are older they can choose what they want to be called themselves, and the chances are it won't be what I would choose for them.

My DS is called Jonathan but we always call him Jonny as its a cheeky name and really suits him, we think. My SIL asked if I minded that she calls him Jonny-boy and I was baffled - to me it's a form of endearment and lovely that she feels she has such a nice relationship with him.

When he's old enough he can choose - he will probably decide he wants to use the long version or be 'nathan' so I'll have to do my best to change my ways!

My first boyfriend was named Robert but all his family called him 'Nigel' because he liked it better...hmmmm......no accounting for the taste of 14 year olds....

You might as well get used to it - when she's a teenager she'll be called all sorts of things - one of the reasons I called DD Amber was that I thought no-one would shorten it - now she's Bambi.

She has friends called Pie (Gareth), Satch (David Sims) and Crack (Mike Rack - I suppose that one was inevitable) and DS has a friend whose surname is Walsh-Atkins, who is known to everyone, including himself - signature on a Christmas card - as Shat.

just ask politely - i would never shorten someones name or their childs. I dont like mine being shortened and will politely always ask for my children names not to be shortened if someone does it. When children are old enough to decide if they like their name shortened then I will abide by their decision. am secretly hoping they will not like their names shortened. i chose the names I really liked the sound of and thats what I will always call them.

I think what's rude is telling someone what they can and can't call your child. It is not being rude to affectionately shorten a name of a child you're talking to...

there are things you can control and things you can't

At least, not in a polite way, to go back to the thread title

Sorry, I'm just starting to feel a little defensive tonight.

We must have similar tastes as Max was on my list also!

He's not been called Edward Bear yet, but give us time and he probably will (he's only 3 months old lol)
My Nan calls him Teddy Edward - apparently it was an old childrens book? I keep meaning to look out a copy for him.

Glad you havent taken offence at me insulting Eddie I dont dislike it in general. I just really dont like people calling DS it as it just realy isnt him - he's a definite Ted imo!

It's a name with very cute variations isn't it? Is he Edward Bear also? (it's winnie the pooh's real name you know, sure you know that).

And then 'Edward' with gravitas when they're older.

And 'Ed' for a teenager with his mates, or on the rubgy field.

I love the name.

Suprised you hate 'Eddie' though, I think it's cute, but I have forced myself not to take offence.

I love Oliver also BTW, that was on my list.

I also have a Max who is actually Maximilian, and lots of other vaiations.

Tinks mum - I was only teasing!

Just tickled me the way it was written thats all.

Lavender - my Edward gets called Tedster and Teddington bear as well
Bizarrly Ds1 who is an Oliver is always called Ollie pie

I have an Abbie, which is regularly both lengthened to Abigail which is not her name, this doesn't bother me, people just assume and is easy to say actually she's just Abbie. But then we get people calling her 'Abs' thats not even a name its just a small collection of letters! I loathe it, really truly hate it. I was always too polite to say anything when people did it, I think if it had been close friends or family i.e anyone who she saw regularly enough for it to stick then I probably would have done. If it's just aquaintances as it was with us easy to let go.
Luckily she hates it too, and is old enough now to tell people herself

I think it's affectionate to play around with names (if you know the person, weird and overly familira if you don't)

I have an Edward.

We call him Eddie.

My Dad calls him edward

His brother calls him Tedster

Our friend calls him Teddlington

I often call him eddie bear/Edward bear which morphs into Winnie pooh (sorry, but he is very cute)

etc etc etc.

You need to think about the variations of a name before you choose it, as it will be adapted as they interact with others.

You only get to choose what you call them and what is on the certifictae.

What anyone else calls them is up to them and their other realtioships. You can try to control it while they're young, but you will ahve to let this go eventually....

Most of the time I call my niece by her name, I only call her Mads when she's being silly and she calls me names back.

I'm going to wow, it's safer.

Anyone can call her whatever she wants and until she is old enough to decide for herself what she wants to be called then she will be called by her name. I don't think it's OK to shorten someone else's name, I think it's very rude.

Yes but as you think it's genuinely fine to call your niece something other than her name I'm sure others think it's fine to call your DD something other than her name. It's pretty irrelevant whether the difference is a nickname or a shortening I think. Also, if Mad's mother said to you I really detest the name Mads and would prefer you didn't use it, however you react to that should determine how people will react to you if you say that about your DS name.