Gutted local baby group owner and used my baby’s name

35 years ago I chose a very unusual and out of date name for DS1. People looked puzzled when I told them and politely asked if it was a family name. Over the next 10 years it became the number one name for boys. It has always surprised but never bothered me. I did better with DS2 his name is always around 100 and there was only one other boy with that name in his primary school.

I gave my DD a name I'd never heard before.

After she was born, her name was everywhere. I was in a pead office for my other child and she said she'd had 3 children with her name that week, never heard it before that. Annoyingly there's a slight variation on her name that very popular. So DD gets called that, despite her name being spelt as it sounds!!

DS has an 'old' name, wayyyyyy down the list. There was another in his school class, and they're also everywhere.we go!

I think we just don't hear it until the name is familiar to us.

I'd rather the common name that mine. It's not common but most people know it. Unfortunately I get called about 10 different variations, regardless of how many times I correct them.

I have a very very unusual name @Babyname101, I've met one other in my 65 years. It is frequently remarked upon. I spent my entire childhood wishing my mother had called me Susan.

For dd we chose a classic but not frequently used name. From the minute she was born it popped up everywhere. It's a big favourite on here. When she started reception 20+ years ago, of twelve girls, six shared two names and one was quite uncommon at the time!

DD wasn't keen when younger but as she has grown up, comes across fewer others with her name and really likes it now. My organisation employs about 700 women and there are three with dd's name and they are of various ages.

What I'm trying to say is that the grass is always greener, people grow into their names and all will be well. Take it as a compliment to your taste.

Both our children's names peaked in popularity about 5/10 years later. It couldn't have been predicted.

@Babyname101 every cloud has a silver lining 😂

It's healthy that your child will know another human who shares their name.
Most of us do and it does us no harm except allows us to feel connected.
Look up The Shirley club.

Baby groups don't stay in your life for long. You probably won't stay in touch with everyone there anyway.

I completely understand we are Browns. I spent weeks and weeks choosing a name for my DD was not even in the top 1000 names….. peaked at number 30, 3 years after I named her.

You can’t predict name usage. The name we gave DS was not in the top 50, but there were 4 others at his nursery of 80 children. Fast forward 8 years and he’s the only one with that name in his school if more than 400.

Yes you're right, you don't own the name. For all you know, when they met your child they were probably thinking damn that's what we're going for and now it's ruined as there's another little one locally. Then they thought rationally and realised it didn't matter, so used it anyway.

Most people on here advise against statistically popular names, but this is one of my arguments for them! To avoid the bitter disappointment when you realise your child name isn't as 'unique' as you thought it was, as you're kind of expecting to come across others if you use a more popular name (and it's a pleasant surprise if you don't).

Names aren't duplicated at school anywhere near as much as they use to be, but when they are they can be quite random and the parents are usually as gutted as you when they realise.

Where dod you get the name from, @Babyname101 ?

The thing is you didn't give them that name in a vacuum. It's probably becoming more popular or you are just more atune to it. DD has a name not in the top hundred but since naming her I've met a few other babies with it.

All my friends are called James or Emma (80s babies) and that is annoying as they were one of about 5 wherever they went! I'm sure your child won't be like this!

This is definitely the tiredness and hormones getting to you. Honestly your child will not care one jot in the unlikely event that this other child ends up
in his class or social circle. I work with teenagers and it’s highly likely one or both of them will end up with a nickname but even if not kids have many ways of owning their identities. Enjoy this precious time with your baby and try to focus on the positive idea that if this is your greatest worry and parenting challenge then you are truly blessed Xxxx

Need to know name OP!

But why on earth would it annoy you? Presumably people give their children a name they really like, what on earth does it matter if another child has the same name? It's just weird to think that a name can't be copied by someone else.

My two DD were born18 months apart and were in consecutive school years. They both had girls with the same name, in their class, all the way through nursery and school. Neither had a classmate with her sister's name.

20 years ago, I gave DD a name unconnected to anyone, never met another, not v popular at all - as a teacher, this is v tricky to find. Cut to now... little girls everywhere with her name.

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle

She might have been inspired by your choice of name. But it’s also possible that wherever you came across the name and liked it is also where she came across the name too.

I’m the opposite, I chose an out of fashion name and am desperately trying to influence people to follow suit but failing miserably. 😆 Everyone around here seems to be called Arlo, Brody or Belle atm.

I thought it was interesting what someone said about their parents thinking they had picked a name outside the top 100 hit that year it went to number 1. We are very subtly influenced by what is going on around us. I know lots of people hear a name on a popular tv show, for example, and name their child that way.

Try not to worry though

It might just be growing in popularity. My parents chose a name they thought was really rare, it wasn't even in the top 100. The year I was born it went to no. 1. I can't remember many classes or activities in or out of school when there wasn't another one of me. After all, not so long ago Charlie, Harry, Ava and Olivia weren't that common. I don't particularly mind having a common name, though it does age me now! I think it's unlikely your child will care.

That's not what illegible means.

I had this OP. My DS’s name is very similar to yours in terms of popularity - not made up, spelt correctly etc. Just not hugely popular although there are a couple of celeb’s kids with the name (I only knew of one at the time). Went to baby swimming and a baby/Dad from another slot was doing a catch up class and when DS’s name was called out the Dad answered! I was worried there would suddenly be an influx of DS’s name kids and he’d be inundated at school when I’d deliberately chosen a not popular name!

DS is now 7.5 and we’d not met another kid with his name until we went to a birthday party a couple of months ago and there was another boy with the same name plus a boy with a very similar shortened name (think 2 Annabelle’s and an Annie). It was a bit discombobulating! I’m hoping the kid with the same name was the baby swimming one and there isn’t a third one lurking nearby! (Joking, kind of)

I’d be flattered! Dds friends nanny had a baby and used dds quite rare name. She’d spent quite a lot of time with dd when she went to her friends house they were mid primary so the nanny clearly thought dd was a nice child.