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Baby names

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Husband is trying to back out of naming agreement

459 replies

ThisZingyMember · 19/07/2025 18:44

I'm looking for opinions on this situation. When I was pregnant with our first child, we could not agree on a name. Our tastes are just too different. At the time, I knew that our child was going to end up with a dull compromise name that neither of us would be keen on if we couldn't think of something else. Because of this, I decided to make an agreement with DH that he could name our first child any (first + middle) name that he wanted as long as I would be able to name our second child any (first + middle) name that I wanted. All went well, and he chose our first child's name. I didn't like the name he chose but never tried to interfere due to the agreement.

I'm now pregnant with our second child. I have chosen the name and told DH what it is. He is now trying to back out of the agreement. His argument is that this is an "extreme exception". He hates the name, so he should be able to veto it. My viewpoint is that it doesn't matter that he doesn't like the name. He shouldn't have agreed to this arrangement if he wasn't going to honour it. I'm not going to compromise when the point of the agreement was to avoid doing so.

OP posts:
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SirChenjins · 19/07/2025 18:57

Well obviously we need to know the names before a decision can be made.

Lafufufu · 19/07/2025 18:56

A deal's a deal.

Crack on and name as you .like

Cosycover · 19/07/2025 18:55

We need to know the names.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 19/07/2025 18:54

But what would have happened if - God forbid - you couldn't have a second child? You'd forever have a child named by one parent and be unable to equal up with your own preferences.

JudgeBread · 19/07/2025 18:50

I need to know the names to make judgement tbh. If he's named your first Emily Grace and you want to name your youngest Gaye Candida or Electric Unicorn I can kind of see his point.

TomatoSandwiches · 19/07/2025 18:49

The agreement was made and he can not back out of it now hes made his choice, it's your turn, he needs to suck it up.

Mrsttcno1 · 19/07/2025 18:48

Surely you wouldn’t want to give your child a name that 1/2 of their parents absolutely hates???

We were flexible but did have a veto if we absolutely hated a name with the rule being that we couldn’t veto more than 2 names each. It’s madness to name a child something that one parent hates.

Spies · 19/07/2025 18:48

What a daft agreement. I can't imagine having a child and knowingly naming them something their other parent hated or having a child with a name I hated.

I cannot believe you couldn't compromise and find even one name you liked.

Partridgewell · 19/07/2025 18:45

Absolutely fair enough. He can't have his way and then back out of the agreement.