Husband is trying to back out of naming agreement

Depends entirely on the names.

You said that you didn't like his, so you are probably ok with them.

He thinks your choices are extreme. Are they?

Things change. It’s was a silly agreement to make.

What’s the name?

Why did he get to go first on the naming “deal”? Surely out of politeness first go should have gone to the one who carried the baby around for 9 months and gave birth to it?

I think I’d have rather given my child a “middling” name that neither of us minded rather than be in this situation where you don’t like one of your kids names and he could potentially hate the other.

You could tell him he’s got one veto and use your second choice name if he really hates it that much.

He needs to suck it up and stick to the agreement.

BUT........just in case you've genuinely taken leave of your senses......maybe run the name by a few people to be sure it's not batshit?

He doesn't have to like the name but I wouldn't blame him for trying to stick up for the kid if you have plans to christen them Fanweekaaaaah Von Cuntenberg or Lumpington Swahloony III, ya know?

But beware he can register alone his choice if you are married....

Just register the baby alone... He can like it or fuck off..

If he chose Benjamin Edward and you want Bathsheba Dorcas I can sort of see his point. Can you give us a steer @ThisZingyMember. I think I could live with Dorcas

I understand if you don't want to say the name but can you say what type of name it is eg
Is it a 'normal' established name everyone would recognise as a name
A made up name/celebrity type name
A nick name type name

You should never have made this ‘deal’. I think most of us compromise on baby names tbh, as it should be something both parents like, may not love - but definitely don’t dislike or hate. Yes compromising is annoying. But it would be awful to really dislike your little ones name, and needless.

You stuck by the agreement so you get to choose baby’s name this time

Agree. Your name could be totally ridiculous

Why is it in his view and extreme exception?

Does he have top 10 name tendencies and you have Zowie Bowie tendencies. Or is it more he has top 10 and you prefer say Mabel May type name that he sees as oldfashioned.

I think the extreme exception has to be explored further. As if you wish to name this next child Adolph Cyanide. Your dh has a point.

Indeed. There is a risk of the other parent not bonding with the child with the unpleasant name

A deal's a deal. You pick the name.

More importantly: You both sound like you desperately need couples counselling.

Neither of you should have a child with a name that you hate.

The game sounds very childish for two adults who are about to have their second child.

Good story.

And he got lucked out. Person who named first kid got his way without any compromise. At least you should have insisted to name your first kid your way, you trusted him way more than he deserved.

Also one person’s ’extreme exception’ is another person’s personal taste. It’s subjective. That’s the whole point. So knowing the names won’t help at all.

This. Go ahead with it.

Whilst he's being unfair trying to back out now, it was a stupid agreement. You were stupid to let him pick a name you don't even like for your first child on the silly notion you'll get to pick next time.

I get his point, although he did 'agree' to you choosing, why shpuld he accept a name he actively hates? Your agreement is very woolly. There's a difference between letting each other choose a name, which the other might not be overly keen on (as in it's not to their particular taste) to accepting them choosing a name you absolutely hate. Whilst we all want to love our children's names, it's not always possible when you don't agree. At the very least though, you need to find something you can both live with. I'm assuming this is the case with your first child's name? It's not a name you would have chosen, but you can live with it? You need to find a similar choice this time. It needs to be a name you choose (for the sake of your agreement) but that your DH can live with. He has every right to veto something he absolutely hates, agreement or no agreement.

It was a very childish agreement with little thought for the conflict it could cause. The fact you let him go first was actually quite devious. It's as if you knew he'd hate your choice but you thought you'd be able to bully him into it because he agreed to let you choose the next one. You can still choose a name without it being something which makes the child's father cringe. That's not fair at all to expect him to accept something he is so against.

This is a child you are naming, not a point scoring exercise. Expecting him to accept absolutely anything because it's your 'turn' to choose and throwing a tantrum if you don't get your own way is playground stuff. Grow up

It doesn’t matter what the names are, even if it will be Jane and Bowser3000. He agreed when he was getting his own way, and now he has to be held to account. It’s only fair. That’s that.

If he hates the name he should be able to veto it. That’s really not the same situation as ‘not liking’ it.

unlikely to happen because you then need to know first child name and if op sees this as private information, she is unlikely to share.

I think your husband is an knob - he can't claim him not liking the name is "extreme exception" - unless you're naming kid Uniqorne or something similar, name simply isn't extreme exception. I admit I'm curios what name warrant "extreme exception" veto.

Bloody stupid arrangement, it's virtually guaranteed to end up with conflict and it shows you can't compromise.

He should stick to it though.