Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Husband is trying to back out of naming agreement

459 replies

ThisZingyMember · 19/07/2025 18:44

I'm looking for opinions on this situation. When I was pregnant with our first child, we could not agree on a name. Our tastes are just too different. At the time, I knew that our child was going to end up with a dull compromise name that neither of us would be keen on if we couldn't think of something else. Because of this, I decided to make an agreement with DH that he could name our first child any (first + middle) name that he wanted as long as I would be able to name our second child any (first + middle) name that I wanted. All went well, and he chose our first child's name. I didn't like the name he chose but never tried to interfere due to the agreement.

I'm now pregnant with our second child. I have chosen the name and told DH what it is. He is now trying to back out of the agreement. His argument is that this is an "extreme exception". He hates the name, so he should be able to veto it. My viewpoint is that it doesn't matter that he doesn't like the name. He shouldn't have agreed to this arrangement if he wasn't going to honour it. I'm not going to compromise when the point of the agreement was to avoid doing so.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
JIMER202 · 19/07/2025 23:13

Your error was naming your first child a name you don’t like! I love both my children’s names. There was names we each vetoed of course.
If you mean to more quirky then I’d probably agree with your husband tbh. I think it’s really weird when siblings have really different names eg an Elizabeth and then an Ocean/Jaxson or a Hugo and a Crystal.

alcoholnightmare · 19/07/2025 23:13

ThisZingyMember · 19/07/2025 22:53

From what he has said, he likes Calliope Theodora. I don't.

Oh god no. The only compromise I’d make on those names would be ‘Thea’.
maybe… Thea Francesca, Thea Kate?
Does baby NEED a middle name? I don’t have one, nor do my three children. I never feel like I’ve missed out!

Firsttimebabymummy · 19/07/2025 23:11

Stick to your guns. Really like the name you've picked! (Don't like Olive)

Comtesse · 19/07/2025 23:10

ThisZingyMember · 19/07/2025 22:53

From what he has said, he likes Calliope Theodora. I don't.

Both of these are terrible. Calliope??? No way, a deal is a deal (your choices are fine).

RosesAndHellebores · 19/07/2025 23:07

It's a good job we all.like different names because I like Mary very much.

Ilikemymenlikeilikemycoffee · 19/07/2025 23:02

Sorry I love his name and dislike the one you’ve chosen! Olive is adorable… Mary is definitely not my favourite!

wordywitch · 19/07/2025 23:02

Is he Greek, OP? Olive Athena and Calliope have strong Greek associations, so was wondering if he feels strongly about having his culture represented in the names?

Branleuse · 19/07/2025 23:01

Theyre both completely normal non offensive names, so i dont know why youre both being so weird about it. Grow up?

RosesAndHellebores · 19/07/2025 23:00

ScruffyTrouserMindFlip · 19/07/2025 22:58

Tbf it does have a very pretty sound to it.

I'm having wicked notions now of Big Weed and Little Weed Grin

Mirabai · 19/07/2025 22:59

softlyfallsthesnow · 19/07/2025 22:56

Olive reminds me of Popeye. Olivia is so much nicer.
I can't believe you agreed to this OP but you were probably stressed. Is he always so stubborn?
Your choice is fine and he'll just have to suck it up, won't he? Maybe he'll realise how you felt last time.

Right. On all fronts.

ScruffyTrouserMindFlip · 19/07/2025 22:58

RosesAndHellebores · 19/07/2025 22:53

Goodness! So many women of my age are Mary-Jane (MJ). Can't wait to tell them Grin

Tbf it does have a very pretty sound to it.

hottoday22 · 19/07/2025 22:57

your name suggestions are nice and normal. IMO Kate or Francesca would be my preference, but it’s not my opinion that counts!

I don’t like his suggestions of Calliope. I’ve never heard of it in real life. Theodora could be shortened to Teddy. But that’s not the point- they are not your choice!

you should get the main vote in this one as per your agreement.

softlyfallsthesnow · 19/07/2025 22:56

Olive reminds me of Popeye. Olivia is so much nicer.
I can't believe you agreed to this OP but you were probably stressed. Is he always so stubborn?
Your choice is fine and he'll just have to suck it up, won't he? Maybe he'll realise how you felt last time.

ExitPursuedByABare · 19/07/2025 22:56

I’m liking his choices.

Miniatureschnauzers · 19/07/2025 22:55

prelovedusername · 19/07/2025 22:39

I think it’s a shame you don’t like your daughter’s name. Please don’t ever tell her.

I know! I think this is a bit sad for you both. There are so many possible shortened versions of Olive, do you like any of those @ThisZingyMember, Livi, Oli, Vivi?

I genuinely think Olive and Frankie sound very cool and like they would have really fun adventures together… I’ve also always loved Drew Barrymore and if it’s good enough for her…?

RosesAndHellebores · 19/07/2025 22:55

ThisZingyMember · 19/07/2025 22:53

From what he has said, he likes Calliope Theodora. I don't.

I know Calliope is popular but it reminds me of a cross between calpol and calliper.

I quite like Theodora and it goes well with Olive.

Livelovebehappy · 19/07/2025 22:54

I think a lot of parents to be struggle to come up with names they both really like. But it just takes a bit more time to actually go through the options, then narrow it down until you get to a name you both like. There are so many names out there, I’m sure you could have come up with one you both were okay with.

RosesAndHellebores · 19/07/2025 22:53

ScruffyTrouserMindFlip · 19/07/2025 22:48

Mary-Jane is slang for cannabis, it might ring wrong for a whole other reason 😂

Goodness! So many women of my age are Mary-Jane (MJ). Can't wait to tell them Grin

ThisZingyMember · 19/07/2025 22:53

alcoholnightmare · 19/07/2025 21:22

Really lovely names in my opinion. What’s his suggestion for names this time round?

From what he has said, he likes Calliope Theodora. I don't.

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 19/07/2025 22:52

Your names are perfectly reasonable names, I wouldnt be arguing with him, he agreed to the deal, it's done, hes got time to get over it and perhaps do some work on himself, he sounds controlling and entitled.

Mirabai · 19/07/2025 22:50

SaintGermain · 19/07/2025 22:25

Mary-Kate is diabolical.

Olive Athena is lovely.

Olive is dreadful.

Athena would have been much better. Francesca and Athena go well together.

Bowies · 19/07/2025 22:49

Your names are all fine but would drop the hyphen

Mirabai · 19/07/2025 22:48

I like Francesca, I don’t like Mary-Kate, but Olive is much worse. No way would I ever have allowed that. But now you have he needs to suck it up.

He’s only saying he hates it as a bargaining tool, to make you look unreasonable. No one can hate Mary-Kate, it’s just meh.

ScruffyTrouserMindFlip · 19/07/2025 22:48

RosesAndHellebores · 19/07/2025 22:45

I thought it was going to be something far worse.

Whilst Mary Kate doesn't ring quite right to me, I wonder of a compromise might be Mary-Jane or Mary-Anne?

Mary-Jane is slang for cannabis, it might ring wrong for a whole other reason 😂

wonkyfruit · 19/07/2025 22:47

I think Olive Athena is a beautiful name! I don’t like Mary-Kate at all; and Francesca is okay (especially if shortened to Frankie) - Olive and Frankie would be really lovely together as sisters!

I don’t think he should be able to back out of the deal now, but it was a crazy deal to make

Swipe left for the next trending thread