Husband is trying to back out of naming agreement

I agree with those saying it was a ridiculous agreement in the first place, because I could never call my child a name I hated, but having made the agreement he ought to stick to it.

However, maybe you could compromise a little for the sake of harmony (though you shouldn't have to). Maybe keep one of your preferred names but not the other? (I love one of them and hate the other, but that’s beside the point.) In real life middle names are very rarely used or even known by anyone outside the immediate family.

Is he Greek? Maybe google Greek names and see if there are any you both quite like.

Personally I think this was a really daft agreement to make in the first place. You should have just compromised on a name you could both live with.

But it sounds like he truly hates this name more than you disliked Olive Athena.

I don't think it's fair to name his child something he really can't stand.

There must be something else you'd like enough that he can live with.

Yes I read afterwards that op gave the names so have edited post.
Still think it's a daft agreement though!

@PorridgeEater

The name that he chose is Olive Athena.
The name that OP chose is Mary-Kate Francesca.

This.

I like your choices better than Bud choices.

I think this is a hill I’d die on. He shouldn’t have agreed to the agreement in the first place if he won’t honour it.

I couldn't do the agreement myself (we just battled it out for days until we agreed) but I prefer your choice. I would swap them around though, Mary-Kate as a middle name, but possibly just because it's very American. Much prefer your choice to his, and he did agree after all

Just saw you provided names. Im on your side!

I dont mind Olive Athena but im not keen on either name tbh.
Im of the age i cant hear the name Mary-Kate without thinking of the Olsen twins 🤣 so for that id never use it, im not into double barrel names either but its a perfectly normal name. I do love Francesca though!

Francesca was one of our choices but my DP's sister has it as a middle name and he wanted something different. My friend shortens her name to Chess.

Its a stupid agreement tbh.

Until we know names i cant say who i agree with. If you are picking a right shite name like Cloud or going with a horrific spelling like KortKnee or something then hes absolutely right to say no 😂

@ThisZingyMember i like you name you have chosen now .
However I don’t like the previous boy name you had chosen .
I don’t not like the name he has chosen now . It’s something else and way out there.

I would go ahead and name the child alone . If he doesn’t agree as you stuck to your side of the agreement. Stand up for yourself and tell him he best get use to the name as you have as that’s what it will be end of !

Why? OP has provided the names in a later post but the names are irrelevant. Her DH got his own way first time, having agreed to the deal where he chooses the name of their first child and OP choose the name of their second child, and is now going back on his word.

Read the OP's posts!

I'd need to know the names to give an honest opinion.

He is being unfair. I think the name he wants is awful btw.
My other half hated the name of our second son (he agreed I could name him it if it was a boy we were both convinced I was having a girl 🤣), it doesn’t bother him at all now.

Absolutely. Nightmare written all over the tuture

I like all those names !
And very likely your first child will mostly be known as Olive ?
My children , with the first I really found it difficult to find a name we both agreed on .
Many very lovely names he said he didn’t like them at all .
We settled on one that is used in the family as a middle name for some more distant family members .
The middle child name was easy as was the third child .
Both of those are quite traditional names

Honestly - don’t engage any further in this conversation with him. When baby is born, go on your own to register the birth with the names that you have chosen. He’s actually an arsehole for not holding up his end of the bargain.

I’d understand if the names you chose were really out there, but they’re not.

I love your favourite name, Mary-Kate Francesca.
You have every right to push for that exact name, Op.

Olive Athena sounds good with it too.

Olive and Mary-Kate is sweet for sisters.
Your name is not remotely extreme.

Other suggestions you might like..
Marina Catherine
Mary Catherine
Francesca Mary
Celia Francesca
Monica Frances

Remind (not within earshot of Child One) DH that you detest your first child's name. It was never your favourite and that is why you constructed the compromising agreement between you. Stick to the agreement.

You name the second child.

If DH needs advice on how to love a child with a nasty name, tell him to come to you for help.

It's all personal opinion. Mary-Kate sounds pretty and is a lovely name to me. It's just a bit retro and American/Catholic like all of the Mary- names (Mary-Kate, Mary-Jane, Mary-Ellen, etc.). I find Olive to be ugly. If you love Olive and hate Mary-Kate, that's perfectly fine. We're of differing opinions.

You sound like a pair of squabbling teens.
Poor kids, one with a name you don't like and you clearly resent your husband for choosing it and one who isn't even born and it's parents can't even agree on naming him/her.
How on earth do you tackle the important stuff?

The agreement was stupid, but equally I would try and veto my DH if he was trying to name our daughter Mary-Kate or actually any hyphenated name!

We were in a park recently near a family with a nice little girl and every time her mum called "Olive" to her I felt a bit sorry for her.
Not helped by every time I say olive (as in oil usually) DH mimics Popeye calling to his poor wife. Makes me laugh every time too.

But anyway...this thread is really about power play by OP's (not so D)H and I hope that she sticks to her guns as she definitely has the moral high ground.

Right.

I have 2 references: 1. Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout and 2. Olive Chancellor in The Bostonians. Neither are characters I would want to be associated with.