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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Brother wants to use my name

62 replies

MaryAntoinette · 03/06/2025 20:43

Bit of a tricky situation. I have two daughters, both of whom we've hesitated calling Esme. They've ended up with different names but it was a very close call each time up until the actual birth day, and my second daughter has Esme as a middle name. Now I'm pregnant with my third child, and surprise, it's a girl!

We're now considering using Esme (at last!) as her name.

But over the weekend, my brother who is engaged, told us how much they loved the name Esme when we were speaking about it, and that they'd like to use it for their future daughter. My DB's fiancée is not pregnant so it's all hypothetical.

What do we do? Use Esme or leave it to my brother even though it's all very theoretical at this stage.

If we use it - is it weird to name your third daughter with the middle name of the second one?
If we don't - is it weird for my DB to use it in the future?

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CopperWhite · 03/06/2025 21:04

It is weird to use your older child’s second name for a subsequent child’s first name. It’s like telling the older one you regret your name choice for them. And within your nuclear family, that name is already hers.

Esme is going through too much of a resurgence right now anyway. They’re everywhere.

Ninkynonkpinkyponks · 03/06/2025 21:03

Prefer Eliza anyway.

but if you want Esme, do it. You’re actually having a baby. Your brother might have only boys?!!

DustlandFairytaleBeginning · 03/06/2025 21:02

You've already used the name for your second daughter. It's her name now, even if it isn't used day to day as much as a first name would be.

It wouldn't be so odd for your brother to use as a first name but you shouldn't use it again. It will take something away from your existing daughter and your new one to share it as siblings.

mnahmnah · 03/06/2025 21:00

I much prefer Eliza anyway! There are lots of Esmes

FakingItEasy · 03/06/2025 20:58

Be honest, did you decide you might want to use it for your 3rd child AFTER your brother mentioned wanting to use it?

Because you obviously didn't like it enough to use it as a first name for your first 2, so is it more that you want to have it in reserve just incase, rather than actually loving the name.

But of you genuinely love it, you can obviously still use it. I'd feel a bit bad for the daughter though, having her name the same as her sister's middle name.

Original poster
MaryAntoinette · 03/06/2025 20:58

Thank you - second contender is Eliza if we don't use Esme. I love Domino but my husband strongly vetoed it 😂

OP posts:
Emanwenym · 03/06/2025 20:57

If you want to use it then do it. Your hypothetical niece is not relevant.
I'm not sure I'd like to have my older sibling's middle name as my first name.

There's a famous married couple who used their one of their elder son's middle names for his little brother, and he also has the male version of his sister's name as a middle name.

BastardesEverywhere · 03/06/2025 20:55

is it weird to name your third daughter with the middle name of the second one?

I think it is. You liked the name, you used it already.

Moreteaandchocolate · 03/06/2025 20:52

I think you should use it - you’ll regret it if you don’t as it’s been your favourite for so long.

RightOnTheEdge · 03/06/2025 20:49

I don't think it matters if its your second child's middle name.

I think you should use it if you really want to. It's ridiculous to not just in case your brother might want to use it in the future.
They might not have children, split up or have all boys.

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 03/06/2025 20:46

Just use it. There’s no reason not to.

It’s not a problem it’s also your second one’s middle name

It’s unlikely your brother will chose to use it, but if he does, he does

BarnacleBeasley · 03/06/2025 20:46

I think it is a bit weird to use your daughter's middle name, but not weird for your brother.