Help me, I have baby name regret

FWIW Ruby Kate is lovely & I think nicer than Kate Ruby!

THIS

@Lostandanxious
Please talk to your HCP/ health visitor about how you're feeling.

You don't have to suffer xx

You or family can use the middle name, and she can use either name when she's older. I think both are lovely.
Is it just Kate as the full name or short for Katherine, Katerina etc? Either way Ruby and Kate are both lovely.

You could just refer to her to everyone as Ruby Kate, rather than just Ruby? Both names are lovely

Just a heads up, as I wish someone had told me at the time... Name regret is one of the lesser known symptoms of post-partum depression. I'm obviously not saying that you have PPD, but please think about whether this is a stand-alone issue or if there are other symptoms you're experiencing, and seek help if you need to.

I had the same dilemma: two names we liked, I'd opted for one, dh for the other. Ds1 also preferred one name, so we went with that, but I really struggled, and hated the name we had used for a while. It just didn't seem to suit him.

The struggles went on for a few weeks and then honestly, I forgot about it all. He grew into his name. (It helped too realizing why I had gone off the chosen name. DS1 was blond. When ds2 was born, to our surprise, he was (very) dark haired and the name I went off was definitely linked in my mind to blonder people. Once I realized that part of problem was that names invariably carry with them expectations, probably based on people we've met or seen over the years with that name, it helped. The name wasn't awful. And Ruby is a lovely name. But it seemed to be describing someone else!) His name now suits him fine.

I'd call her Ruby Kate for a while, which sounds great. Let it all settle for a while and enjoy your new bundle of fun.

By the way, I hate my own first name and changed it as soon as I could. At least you won't be too disappointed if she does that!!

Contact your local Civil Registration Office for more information if you decide you do want to change it.
www2.hse.ie/services/births-deaths-and-marriages/find-a-civil-registration-service/

https://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth-family-relationships/after-your-baby-is-born/registering-birth-your-baby/#39e620

You can amend the name if you wish OP.
I’m Irish and my name was changed a month or so after I was first registered.

OP, if your partner is happy and everyone knows your baby as Ruby, then that’s her name. I think Ruby Kate is sweet - and it’s very easy to overthink things such as names, especially in the early weeks. Don’t upset your DH and go through the trauma of telling everyone that you’ve changed her name. I think definitely get over the anxiety - she will be a Ruby, and I bet she’s a little love!

What helped me @Lostandanxious as odd as it sounds was going to facebook and searching the name you are unsure of in people. Seeing lots of cool confident women who totally rock the name. It's hard to imagine on her yet as she's so young, but imagine the feisty twenty something she will be!

I much prefer Ruby to Kate. You’ve made the right choice.

Hey OP ..
I am also Irish , when I saw you use the word sure , pronounced shur 😂, I knew you were Irish also 🙌 …
So my friend was named Catherine Joyce , her mother preferred Joyce after, eventhough she was registered Catherine Joyce & just went ahead & called her Joyce & that’s what she is known as Joyce !
Your baby is only 7 weeks old , just go ahead & call her Kate & everybody will be use of it in no time ! Not a big deal to tell your friends & family, they’re your friends & family afterall 😊 ..
Don’t stress it OP ..
Congratulations on your new baby girl 🎈X

Ruby was my great great grandmother’s name. I thought it was so cool! There are millions of people called Kate.

It’s hard when they’re so tiny, you think of all the names beforehand and it’s different when they are born. It took me a while to get used to our children’s names, but now I can’t imagine them being called anything else!

Ruby is a lovely name OP! Really really lovely.

Ruby Kate is lovely. No one can argue with you using both names if you want to.

Ruby is such a beautiful name.

I don't normally like double names like Sarah Jane, etc, but Ruby Kate is cute - has a nice ring to it.

I had the same experience with all 3 of my kids but it wore off each time and now I couldn't imagine them with any other names. It feels like such a big decision, choosing a name and it's so final when you do. They grow into their names. Things settle down and it starts to feel right.

Ruby is a great name!

If it can’t be changed on the BC in Ireland and your DH is refusing anyway then hard as it is I think you need to let it go.

Try to think of the positives-

A) you’ve given her a middle name you do love in Kate and she can easily go by it if she chooses to (lots of people call themselves by their middle names when older, it’s still part of your name after all)

B) the first name you have given her is popular -meaning lots like the sound of Ruby, her name will fit in with her peers, she can get fun stuff with her name on in shops etc

C) but at number 30 in Ireland currently Ruby is not so popular that there would likely be loads of them at school

D) it’s easy to pronounce and spell and should cause her absolutely no difficulties in life.

Ruby may not be to everyone’s taste but you could have done far worse for her than choosing a popular name with lots of benefits and which many people do like- please don’t beat yourself up for it.

Ruby Kate is a beautiful name

Ruby is MUCHH nicer!!

Ruby is a lovely name!

Ruby Is nicer than Kate.
if your partner doesn’t want to consider changing it you’re going to have to accept it as it is her name and has been for 7 weeks

I love the name Ruby.

Ruby is such a lovely name - I would stick with it personally and she will grow into it. Kate is nice but I know a million adult Kates, so Ruby feels more modern (I know it’s past its peak use but it’s a fairly modern-sounding classic that’s stood the test of time and less overused in the general population than Kate).