Why do the mumsnet community hate popular names?

@OptimisticRealist2024 , the thing with Rose/Grace/May as a middle name is that they seem to be every other Sophia/Freya/Lilys middle name.

In my age group, it seemed every other girl was Something Jane or Something Louise, so you knew several Sarah Janes, Laura Janes or Emma Louises.

@OptimisticRealist2024 There’s a big difference between an underused classic and a made up spelling!

Parents can choose from thousands of lovely normal easy to spell names that are not ‘popular’ and overused without resorting to making up a weirdly spelled name (like your suggestions of Maiyah or Jason).

I agree with the previous poster that you finding certain (old classic names) ‘wanky’ says a lot about your narrow experience and class conformity.

@PalazzoBarberini I am not English; I'm not talking about devolved nations of the UK which have their own ecosystems where names are concerned. Having done my entire education where English was taught as a second language, and with a heritage that isn't culturally English, I can choose a name and know it will be popular in my DC class/school and in my area, but not in the UK top 250.

Nor am I lower middle class (that bit actually made me laugh - I'm not even lower, lower middle class. Working class at best 😂).

I just really think that the middle classes are driving the popular names and they cling to names they think are timeless, but will date, thinking that they aren't conforming to fashion when, actually, they are. It happens with all sorts of things - cars, clothes, interiors...and names. I do think that they're a bit try-hard. Doesn't mean I'm right though, does it? For all I know they really are naming their DC after their grandmother or a name they just really loved and later found out was popular.

I think on MN, people choose X because you think it's an extension of their unique identity. They ask on MN to see what other people think. It shouldn't matter, but their motivation is either:

1. they don't want DC to be bullied, so they need to check it isn't too weird

or

2. they think it's really original but maybe, with 8 billion people in the world, it isn't and they want something more unusual.

People on MN tell them it's too common, and then you watch as Florence/Arlo/whatever drops further down the popularity rankings, and then something else becomes popular.

And not all parents naming children in the UK have solely UK heritage. Orla, for instance, is the equivalent of Emma or Sarah in Ireland in terms of being extremely common. People like @OptimisticRealist2024 opining about something being ‘a wanky name’ are just exposing their own narrow experience and lower-middle-class conformity.

@Bluelavenders Outside of MN, I'd agree (...to a point, but I still think the middle class are more conscious of social circles where names are concerned).

If MN is scorning popular names in favour of encouraging name diversity, why are there so many threads which turn to cackling about quirky spellings?

If I suggested Maiyah, Jasen or Kadence, I doubt I'd get a positive response on here. They're not my choice of name, but certainly diverse and not overly popular names.

I don’t think parents necessarily ‘try hard’ to choose names ‘to make sure others in a set acknowledge it’s quirkiness’

Many parents simply like names that aren’t overused/trendy/boring. They simply like names like Ottilie and Quentin (or Xavier, Orla etc).

Shouldn’t we be encouraging more name diversity rather than less?

Just popping back to say I only mentioned Quentin as it seems to be a very common suggestion on here. I was being facetious because it epitomises those names on MN are just a bit too try-hard/want to fit in with a social set but still feel original. Imho, Quentin is one such wanky name.

I think the hand-wringing/hating a lot on popular names on MN is a very middle class phenomenon. A name has to be just right to make sure others in the set acknowledge it's quirky but not too outlandish. There are dozens of threads where people say Rose or Grace are just too plain and popular as middle names for a Sophia. It's mad.

The classes either side rarely care. They just feel confident enough to go with their choice without consulting others.

I posted recently asking if people thought names grow on you after birth, or if you have to love it straight away. DH and I only really like one name for a boy because it was bilingual, but we don't know if we like it enough to use it and it was recently the most popular boy's name in my county. We'd be choosing it only because we actively don't like anything else. Would it grate on me if I knew lots of other boys with that name?

Cue responses asking to know the name, and suggesting "accepted" names as alternatives... I didn't want to share it but it felt like I was having to screen my name to check if it was original enough.

Yes, I once read about the 100 year rule - that names become popular in cycles of 3-4 generations. I guess it takes that long for popular names to lose their popularity and start to sound ‘fresh’ again.

Babies called Quentin in England & Wales since 1996
Babies called Ottilie in England & Wales since 1996

Outside of Mumsnet who is naming their child ottilie or Quentin? I see them mentioned on here all the time but are they even in the top 20? I've NEVER met one.

I think we need to make a Mumsnet top 100 names list. It will be interesting to see how different it is from the actual UK top 100.

Some of the top twenty girls names in the UK at the moment I find absolutely gorgeous. I mean they're popular for a reason right.

At my kids school the only children who have duplicates in their class are boys and even then it's never more than two in a class. There's a much bigger pool of names to choose from then there was forty years ago.

I liked ottilie when I heard it but it feels a bit ‘instamum’ influencer now.

It’s more that they don’t have the associations of names used by recent generations. Barbara, Nigel, Kenneth, Linda — we all know living people with those names. The generation that went back to Edwardian names like Violet, Ivy, Reggie, Maud etc had no such association with those names, but the Barbaras and Nigel’s would have, so didn’t use them. In time, names like Sharon, Tracey, Kevin and Gary will seem ‘fresh’, once people with those names have died off enough for the Quentins and Ottillies doing the naming not to have associations with them!

Ottilie and Quentin don’t have those associations as they were never super fashionable, and so they feel more ‘fresh’ and timeless.
To you maybe. I think neither are fresh or timeless, and they seem, to use a pp's term, wanky.

On the flip side though, having a very unusual name (first and surname combination) can be incredibly identifying. No privacy on a Google search. Whereas if someone tried to Google me (fairly common first and surname combination) they wouldn't find a thing on my name alone, they'd need to know a lot more personal details than that.

There are positives and negatives to each scenarios (popular vs unusual name). For everyone who has a popular names and hates the "lack of identity" (or whatever you want to call it), there's one who is glad to just blend in. For everyone who loves the uniqueness of their own unusual name, there's one who hates how it makes them stand out.

Basically, nobody can know what their future child will prefer, so you can only pick something based on your own preferences. Who knows whether your children will thank you one day or not?

That's a good point actually. Comments about popularity may be mistaken for negativity, when actually they're just advising the OP based on their personal criteria (not necessarily how the person who is responding feels about that name, or popular names in general).

I don't have anything against personal names, but I will advise someone that a name they're considering is "too popular" if they've specifically said they wish to avoid popular names and are seemingly clueless how popular their choice currently is.

I always find that situation strange though. I mean, why would you apparently want to avoid a popular name, yet can't be bothered to research the current popularity of your chosen name?! I've never really understood that logic, considering ONS data is easily obtainable if (if means that much to you).

I don’t necessarily dislike top 10 names but why would I want my child to be 1 of 4 children named Noah or Luca in their class? It just seems so cookie cutter and boring. By the same token I am not naming my baby Constantinople just to be different. I want a name with meaning to me & my partner and something we both like.

Does it matter? Why can't people choose what they want and be free to say what they don't? Why do people have to always feel judged over every thing?, i do wonder how people get up in the morning without finding a way to be offended

There are names i like there are names i don't and I don't care if anyone likes my child's name or not, or a name I like or not in general

Does it matter? Why can't people choose what they want and be free to say what they don't? Why do people have to always feel judged over every thing?, i do wonder how people get up in the morning without finding a way to be offended

There are names i like there are names i don't and I don't care if anyone likes my child's name or not, or a name I like or not in general

Especially if you have a very common last name.

Back in the days when people got paid by cheque two of my friends at different time got their pay cheques paid into a namesake born in the same year bank account. They eventually sorted the issue out after a few weeks as it was the individual bank's error both times. One had an extremely common combination of names as her last name is in the top 10, while the other's last name was in the top 50.

I have worked in companies were people have email addresses like [email protected] as there are/have been multiple people with that band who have worked at the company.

Now myself and my DD don't have that issue.

No one in my family was and is ever named after family members.

Though our names and children's names are also chosen for their meaning regardless of the language the name originated from.

Short answer: I’m not sure all of mumsnet hates popular names, but the baby names forum is (naturally) frequented by people who are especially interested in names.

I don’t think those people hate popular names as such but they are a) probably more interested in discovering “ fresh” names than most b) probably have a lower tolerance for repeated names, and b) see trends emerging on here before they hit ONS or local saturation, so are bored of names before they actually become popular. For example, if you do a search for “I see XXX suggested on here a lot, so it probably will become popular soon” you will get tons of hits.

Also, a lot of the time, OPs who don’t study the ONS data or darkgreener are asking about opinions on XXX because they are looking for something unusual, or timeless, or one that you don’t come across too often; that’s when you often have people piling in to let the OP know that the name has been very rapidly rising up the charts so probably isn’t unusual, is likely to date, and might come across it frequently.

I have a name which is currently very popular, but was virtually unheard of 26 years ago (when I was born).

I've gone from hearing how rare and lovely my name is... to everyone hating it and saying how "common" it is!

I donthink Charlotte is. Here there are so many. Mostly Charli or Lottie, but it is not uncommon to have multiple Charlottes, lotties and Charlis in the same class.