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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Using a mutual friends very unusual baby name…

59 replies

Sep88 · 03/03/2025 19:43

My husband and I can’t agree on boys names. The only one we both really like is very very unusual and was used by friends of friends. We never see them and they’ve moved to the other side of the country. However, we do follow each other on social media.

I’d be tempted to block them on sm and crack on, but I think our mutual friend will make it weird. They are a very gossipy couple.

There is a Welsh and Irish spelling and pronunciation of the name that we have toyed with. However, we like this particular version as it’s the name of a local beauty spot that means a lot to us.

What is the etiquette in this situation? Message and ask for permission? Ignore the fact and use the name anyway and accept our mutual friend will gossip but it will blow over? Use the alternative that is a bit halfhearted? Ta!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

BruhWhy · 04/03/2025 14:00

DemBonesDemBones · 04/03/2025 13:57

One of my children has a name from Greek literature. It's very very unusual in the UK. A friend of a friend that doesn't even read English literature used it. They pronounce it incorrectly. I rolled my eyes and was a bit annoyed when I found out but haven't thought about it since.

Lemme guess, Persephone, "Percy-phone"? 👀

CarrieOnComplaining · 04/03/2025 14:00

Just use the name.

People you never see, who live on the other side of the country really don’t need to influence your decision.

To cut down drama with your friends don't tell them the name in advance (always the best plan anyway), after the birth tell them “xxxxx after the beauty spot but ha ha, didn’t your friends call their son that too? Great minds think alike! “

CerealPosterHere · 04/03/2025 13:59

Use the name you want. Do not block them as the mutual friend will tell them of the name use and then blocking them looks odd/guilty. Either give them a heads up or don't. Use the spelling you want.

DemBonesDemBones · 04/03/2025 13:57

MyGingerNinja · 04/03/2025 13:57

My oldest friend from school and I both named our daughters the same name- a fairly common, standard name that we both happened to like. My daughter was born first and I had absolutely no issue with it. The girls are at different schools and don't socialise and they added a middle name whereas my daughter doesn't have one. Can't see the issue at all ... as everyone says no one owns a name and everyone goes on to lead their own lives in any case.

BruhWhy · 04/03/2025 13:56

EdithStourton · 03/03/2025 21:08

One of my DC has an unusual name. Someone (friend of friend) heard it used of my DC, liked it and gave it to her next baby.

I was delighted when I found out.

Just go for it.

Edited

I have a Zelda, and this happened to us! I was so happy. Why people get possessive over names I'll never understand. 50 years ago everyone was called Sue, John or Dave and it's like we've forgotten that names aren't copyrighted property 😂

theressomanytinafeysicouldbe · 04/03/2025 13:47

Aw please tell us the name, it might not be that unusual

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 04/03/2025 13:37

Friends of friends? Who cares?

If your mutual friend will "make it weird" they clearly don't have enough going on in their life.

SuddenFrisson · 04/03/2025 13:36

Snowmanscarf · 04/03/2025 13:27

The blocking thing is the weird aspect of your post, not the use of the name.

Yes, exactly!

SJM1988 · 04/03/2025 13:30

Friends of friends...I wouldn't even consider not using the name or telling them.
We named out DD the same as a close friend (including the same nickname) and my cousin. I mentioned briefly in passing it was on our list but didn't get their permission to use or not.
It hasn't caused any gossip in our friend group.

Snowmanscarf · 04/03/2025 13:27

The blocking thing is the weird aspect of your post, not the use of the name.

caramac04 · 04/03/2025 13:25

I can’t see a problem with you choosing the same name as someone else. It’s not like they are brothers where it would be weird.
Also, names are never as unusual as parents think by the time dc start school.

SuddenFrisson · 04/03/2025 13:22

greatfrontage · 04/03/2025 13:15

I think you're overthinking it and that Durdle Door is due a comeback to be honest, OP. You might find that his reception class is full of little Durdles when the time comes.

I think Durdle has quite a cute ring to it. Or twins called Durdle and Dartmoor, and they could fight about having UNESCO status.

OP, this sounds a bit mad. They’re not even your friends, they’re friends of your friends, who live in another country, and whom it’s perfectly likely you’ll never set eyes on again. You don’t even appear to like them much, if all you’ve said about them is that they’re ‘gossipy’!

greatfrontage · 04/03/2025 13:15

I think you're overthinking it and that Durdle Door is due a comeback to be honest, OP. You might find that his reception class is full of little Durdles when the time comes.

crumblingschools · 04/03/2025 13:15

Is it so unusual that your child may not like it when they are older?

Mulledjuice · 04/03/2025 13:14

If you've been able to establish there's a Welsh and Irish version as well as the version you want to use (English?) Then surely it's not that unusual?

fizzandchips · 04/03/2025 13:10

My daughter has a fairly unusual name. I once received this text from a neighbour/friend of friend.

hi fizzandchips we’ve found out our baby is a girl and we’re going to call her [my daughter’s name]. It’s such a beautiful name and we wanted you to be among the first to know that we’ve chosen it for our daughter too.

It’s was perfect. No permission requested (because no one owns a name). A decision made - this is what we’re naming our child/have named our child with a bit of flattery thrown in being the first to know so they feel special.

I wasn’t put out in the slightest (because no one owns a name) but even if I had been such a perfect message would have softened the blow.

Chuchoter · 04/03/2025 13:08

No need to block them. Just call your child whatever you fancy!

BasicBeach · 04/03/2025 13:01

I think if you block them that will give them more ammo to gossip about haha

Riapia · 04/03/2025 12:42

EcruCardigan · 03/03/2025 20:54

I'm curious as to what the name is.

Ben Nevis.
😉😁😁.

stayathomer · 04/03/2025 12:35

I’d think it weirder that you block them before you do it!!!!!!

Noonecaresifyounamechange · 04/03/2025 12:33

Do people really care if someone they vaguely know uses the same name as then?

use the name you like. in the nicest way possible, noone else really cares that much.

Moreteaandchocolate · 03/03/2025 21:44

Just use it! Let them gossip if that’s their bag, but if someone copied my kid’s name I’d probably just be quite flattered that someone liked the name I chose that much (as long as they weren’t going to be in the same class at school or something 😂)

username462025 · 03/03/2025 21:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.