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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

What do you do when you can't find any names?

110 replies

Camia · 26/02/2025 07:35

I don't know if this quite belongs here so apologies if not. I'm not sure of a better place for it. I don't know what to do going forward. My partner and I are expecting our third baby and third boy soon and picking a name has been an absolute nightmare. Girl names we can agree on (so of course we have all boys lol), but neither of us have an easy time settling on boy names and really loving them and we have total opposite naming styles, and it's gotten worse with each baby. Our first was a little difficult but we got there by about 25 weeks. Our second involved a miserable amount of back and forth and frustration and finally got a first name at 39 weeks, and we picked his middle name while I was in labor. Now on #3 I feel like there's no way this poor child will ever get a name.

We literally can't even remotely agree on ANYTHING. Every single name one of us even sort of likes the other completely hates. I'm out of ideas. I've spent at least an hour or 2 every day, sometimes longer, searching for names just trying to find new name ideas we haven't seen before and ruled out, and I'm not exaggerating when I say it's been months since I've found anything new. I'm to the point of actively seeking out the rarest, wildest names I can possibly find just to find something new and they're still all ones we've already seen and said no to. I've tried finding a compromise between our naming styles and looking for names that fall somewhere in between, I've tried tweaking names one of us likes to make them more appealing to the other, I've tried catering to my partner's style and looking for names I can stand, I've lowered my own standards and gone from looking for names I love to just any name I think I could live with. He's tried to do the same with my naming style. We've tried just flat out making up a name. It's gotten us nowhere. We both agree that it's not fair to give just one of us more control over the first name, we both know we'd both end up unhappy over it knowing one of us never wanted that name. I'm beyond stressed and frustrated and the pregnancy hormones are not helping. I adore my older 2 boys' names even though they were hard to settle on, they're perfect for both of them, and I feel like the only option at this point is to give up and just pick any random name no matter how I feel about it and it breaks my heart to think of sticking my baby with a decision like that.

I might be being ridiculous from hormones and stress and sleep deprivation (the pregnancy insomnia has been terrible this time around) but I just don't know what to do. Do I just go with something my partner likes and hope it grows on me over the years? Do I try to convince him to do that and then live the rest of my life feeling horribly guilty about it? Do we just pick a name out of a hat and deal with whatever it ends up being?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Heidi2018 · 26/02/2025 11:25

How many weeks pregnant are you? If you aren't near the end, I would suggest taking a break from researching names and go back to it with fresh eyes in a week or 2.

For DC1, we couldn't agree at all, and just overheard this name one day by accident and that was it, we both loved it. For DC2, I mentioned a name that my other half didn't hate but wasn't sure on and left it with him for a little while to see if he could come around to it and he did. I'm definitely on the same wave length as you, if he hadn't come around to it, there's no way I could've used it.

newrubylane · 26/02/2025 11:12

Have you tried looking at some Japanese names, OP. Some of your husband's options have that feel to me and Google suggests a few that I think would be reasonable in English - Kenzo, Kenji, Ren, Ryo, Nori (pronounced No-Ree) Daigo, Yoshi.

IBloodyLoveMyBlanket · 26/02/2025 10:02

Camia · 26/02/2025 09:17

I seem to be going for Ns a lot with this baby. Not necessarily starting with N but N somewhere in the name. No particular reason but it is a pattern I've noticed. And I did like the Ry part of Ryzen, but looked at other Ri/Ry names (Riley, Ryder, Rylan/Ryland, etc) and none of them really jumped out at me

Senan
Nate
Nico
Dannan
Ryan
Niall
Lysander

unourrite · 26/02/2025 09:50

Ripley
Linus
Pacian
Orson
Archer
Atlas
Ellis
Magnus
Malachy
Kendall
Campbell
Lennox
Harris
Lewis
Darian

DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe · 26/02/2025 09:48

Ryzen is the name of a huge range of computer processing chips used worldwide - the main competitor to Intel. It could be a bit like calling your child Pentium or Quadcore!

People could start referring to you as his Motherboard Grin

CurlewKate · 26/02/2025 09:28

@Camia wow-that's me told! OK-carry on stressing and making yourself unhappy looking for the perfect collection of random letters to name your child. But think of all the lovely things you could be doing with the time instead.

sugarapplelane · 26/02/2025 09:23

Camia · 26/02/2025 09:11

Thank you everyone else for the suggestions. There are a few names suggested here that I do kind of like but we can't use for various reasons (we actually talked very briefly about Caspian at one point but it's very very similar to our cat's name so that ruins it for both of us unfortunately, and a couple others are names of close relatives, etc.) I'm making notes of some of the ideas to try and see if they help us either find new ideas or reconsider old ones. I'm sure we'll eventually find something that clicks with both of us and feels right like the other boys' names did but the process is just exhausting.

For those questioning my partner's taste in names his logic is that unusual names are so common nowadays that by time the baby's whole age group is school age/grown up they won't stand out as much as we immediately assume they will, and in the end other people's opinions of the name aren't top priority as long as there's no completely horrible common association. Which I get. They're definitely far from the weirdest names I've come across meeting kids around where we are. I'm just trying to find a middle ground that suits both of our styles.

Your Husband’s choices are bloody awful. I feel for your son if he has to have one if those names. Bonkers!!!!
Your names are mostly ok. Soren is my favourite and a good old Scandinavian name.
If you like Caspian, how about Cassian?

Camia · 26/02/2025 09:17

IBloodyLoveMyBlanket · 26/02/2025 09:05

Are there any letters you particularly like? I tend to favour rounded ones eg B, S, C over straight/spiky like H, K, W. Could that be a starting point?

I seem to be going for Ns a lot with this baby. Not necessarily starting with N but N somewhere in the name. No particular reason but it is a pattern I've noticed. And I did like the Ry part of Ryzen, but looked at other Ri/Ry names (Riley, Ryder, Rylan/Ryland, etc) and none of them really jumped out at me

OP posts:
TweedCoat · 26/02/2025 09:15

Just putting these out there...

Andrew
James
David
Anthony
Stephen
John
Richard
Jonathan
Mark
Michael
Paul
Daniel
Peter
Vincent
Graham

sixtiesbaby88 · 26/02/2025 09:11

I used to know a Torin which is quite nice

Camia · 26/02/2025 09:11

Thank you everyone else for the suggestions. There are a few names suggested here that I do kind of like but we can't use for various reasons (we actually talked very briefly about Caspian at one point but it's very very similar to our cat's name so that ruins it for both of us unfortunately, and a couple others are names of close relatives, etc.) I'm making notes of some of the ideas to try and see if they help us either find new ideas or reconsider old ones. I'm sure we'll eventually find something that clicks with both of us and feels right like the other boys' names did but the process is just exhausting.

For those questioning my partner's taste in names his logic is that unusual names are so common nowadays that by time the baby's whole age group is school age/grown up they won't stand out as much as we immediately assume they will, and in the end other people's opinions of the name aren't top priority as long as there's no completely horrible common association. Which I get. They're definitely far from the weirdest names I've come across meeting kids around where we are. I'm just trying to find a middle ground that suits both of our styles.

OP posts:
JumpingPumpkin · 26/02/2025 09:06

I do agree that names need to be liked by both parents.

Moreteaandchocolate · 26/02/2025 09:05

Your name ideas are all good, his are bonkers!

How about

Kyron
Cillian
Koby
Byron
Dawson
Bohdi
Boden
Calvin
Samson
Silas
Arlen
Heath
Emmett
Ivo
Jonas
Cyrus
Aston
Miller
Fabian
Amos
Jago
Travis
Reid
Jay
Lucian
Cian
Lachlan
Rufus
Nolan
Ashton
Magnus
Stefan
Sullivan
Harris
Cassian
Fraser
Ivan
Rhys
Angus
Hector
Hayden
Lennon
Damien
Lincoln
Aidanp
Ronan
Leonard
Marcus
Ezekiel
Callum
Micah
Zain
Flynn
Cole
Spencer
Rex
Casper
Cameron
Rudy
Lewis
Jason
Dexter
Archer
Rafferty
Joel
Evan
Isaiah
Joey
Rio
Asher
Abel
Parker
Zion
Aaron
Eric
Brodie
Cooper
Owen
Lenny
Dominic
Harley
Jonah
Levi
Vincent
Remi
Elliott
Otto
Luke
Wilfred
Ryan
Harvey
Jackson
Miles
Tobias
Jenson
Austin
Cody
Blake

All outside the top 100 boys names in the uk

IBloodyLoveMyBlanket · 26/02/2025 09:05

Are there any letters you particularly like? I tend to favour rounded ones eg B, S, C over straight/spiky like H, K, W. Could that be a starting point?

JumpingPumpkin · 26/02/2025 09:05

I love Quinn, it would have been a contender for my second but she was a girl so I didn't use it.

My children didn't get named until a few weeks in. I had 2 baby name books and they got thoroughly picked over. I couldn't name them before seeing them.

Camia · 26/02/2025 08:59

@CurlewKate I'm happy if that's an approach that's worked for you and I know a lot of people share that mindset but it's not one I can ever get behind. I don't and will never see taking my partner's opinions and preferences on something that affects both of us into account as pandering or any kind of negative. There are things about pregnancy and birth that are my choice not his but I don't believe I have more right to make major decisions about our child just because I'm the one carrying him when he's a present, supportive, active, loving father and partner. I came here for ideas on new approaches because clearly the ones we've tried aren't working and yes, it's frustrating and yes, sometimes I wish our opinions on names lined up better because that would make things a lot easier, but knowingly and intentionally hurting my partner and cutting him out of a parenting decision he has every right to be a part of will never be an okay solution to me.

OP posts:
deeahgwitch · 26/02/2025 08:59

".....And Killua is a castle in County Westmeath restored by a dubious ex-banker."

The castle has links to Walter Raleigh and Lawrence of Arabia apparently.

Of course I had to go down a Google rabbit hole to see who, what and where @HamSpray 😀

Snowmanscarf · 26/02/2025 08:59

We used to look at tv and film credits for inspirations.

IBloodyLoveMyBlanket · 26/02/2025 08:57

Holy shit, OP, your partner has lost his mind.

Ezekiel
Malachy
Leon
Gus
Calvin

Emanwenym · 26/02/2025 08:53

Killua is too close to Killa
Ryzen - unryzenable
Zyren - too close to Siren

toomanytocount2025 · 26/02/2025 08:52

If you've taken your husbands last name what about your last name as the first name?

Lysander
Tanner
Ozias
Asher
Levi
Xaviour
Dru
Caspian
Paxon/paxton
Devon
Silas
Zebedee
Titan
Olivander
Rhodes

SoftPlaySaturdays · 26/02/2025 08:49

Camia · 26/02/2025 08:34

I'll admit I didn't completely hate the idea of something similar to Ryzen but didn't love it either. I was willing to play around with that one and look for compromise but we couldn't get anywhere with it

Rozen or Rozhen?

Rozen is a last name. Rozhen is an observatory and an asteroid, I think.

SoftPlaySaturdays · 26/02/2025 08:46

I also know someone who couldn't agree, so looked through a textbook of geographical terms (or something) instead of a name book.
They chose Tarn.

HamSpray · 26/02/2025 08:46

Camia · 26/02/2025 08:22

For reference my first son's name has hovered somewhere around the 700s in popularity ranking whenever I've looked, and my second son's name isn't in the top 1000 at all, but a different spelling of it is somewhere around the 500s if I remember correctly. So neither is a common name by any means but no one we've met has ever been surprised to hear either of them at all. I'd like to go for something similar for this baby, but my partner is wanting to lean a lot farther into unique names so that's one of the big things that's been hard to balance. I also tend to be drawn towards a little bit softer names and he likes stronger/harsher (not really the word I want to use but the closest I can think of right now) sounds.

My partner was the one to initially suggest my first's name and I suggested my second's, but neither of us really had a "final say", we were in full agreement that we both felt they were the right names.

Some of my suggestions for this baby have been Quinn, Soren, Evander, Tristan, and Roman. His have been (I might be ruining the spelling here but to the best of my memory) Killua, Ryzen, and Zyren.

Does he work in pharmaceuticals??? And Killua is a castle in Westmeath restored by a dubious ex-banker.

NameChangedOfc · 26/02/2025 08:45

In catholic tradition, you can give the baby the name of the saint of the birth day (or any other patron saint that means something to you and your family). It's perfect to take off the preasure of too many choices 😉

Alternatively, you can look for a familiar name, as in a name that means something for your family (e.g. my genealogical tree is full of Charles).

I understant perfectly your frustration but I'm certain your baby will have a beautiful name, it's just that it will come when it comes.

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