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Baby names

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Original poster

Baby name regret - any positive stories?

88 replies

Belen82 · 12/02/2025 18:18

I have just been through a tumultuous name choosing process with my husband - stressful and emotionally charged. We had a beautiful, in my mind perfect boy name lined up before pregnancy that matched with my eldest sons name.

i had a wobble early pregnancy thinking the name was too common (top 5) and convinced my husband to consider the middle name as the first. He was convinced, but overtime when I thought about it practically the middle name wasn’t a good fit (uncommon though not unusual, long - three syllables, inevitable nicknames, can be perceived as foreign). I like short punchy names and don’t like nicknames.

However husband would not switch back - decided how that we had thought about it, he doesn’t actually like original first name.

Lots of fighting, tears and stress and we ended up going with the name that was orginally middle name. I loved it for about 10 days, felt good about it, compliments came pouring in. And then almost overnight, I feel sick with regret about it. I find it awkward using such a long name when my son is a 1 syllable name. I don’t like hearing people say it, I cringe a bit when I say it. And I can’t shake the overwhelming feeling we’ve done the wrong thing for our child - giving an unusual, fiddly name rather than a common, short snappy name.

Has anyone felt this level of regret and then gone on to love DC name? Did anyone start with the name feeling wrong but now wouldn’t have it any other way? It’s consuming me…

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Original poster
Belen82 · 18/07/2026 13:58

@MimiArtini - wow what are the chances! I actually ended up changing his name. Despite all the wonderful support and encouragement (from this forum and others!) the feeling never

OP posts:
MimiArtini · 17/07/2026 22:35

I’ve just stumbled upon this thread late because I was looking at stories of baby name regret.. Just so happens my son is also called Raphael, and Leo was my second choice!

Mine is now nearly one and I don’t know if I regret per se, but I also only call him by his nickname (Raffi) and worry that I should be more comfortable saying the full “Raphael” by now. I’m curious to ask if you got used to it OP?

Itsoneofthose · 26/03/2025 21:03

@changedusernameforthis1 love what you did here! Would love to know the name/nickname. Also, was it easy enough to change at Gp?

user1492757084 · 26/03/2025 06:33

Max and Raphael are great for brothers.

Leo is a handsome name too.
Your son has lucked out with his names.

Original poster
Belen82 · 26/03/2025 02:40

@Itsoneofthose - I’ll send you a PM

OP posts:
Itsoneofthose · 25/03/2025 21:50

Belen82 · 12/02/2025 18:18

I have just been through a tumultuous name choosing process with my husband - stressful and emotionally charged. We had a beautiful, in my mind perfect boy name lined up before pregnancy that matched with my eldest sons name.

i had a wobble early pregnancy thinking the name was too common (top 5) and convinced my husband to consider the middle name as the first. He was convinced, but overtime when I thought about it practically the middle name wasn’t a good fit (uncommon though not unusual, long - three syllables, inevitable nicknames, can be perceived as foreign). I like short punchy names and don’t like nicknames.

However husband would not switch back - decided how that we had thought about it, he doesn’t actually like original first name.

Lots of fighting, tears and stress and we ended up going with the name that was orginally middle name. I loved it for about 10 days, felt good about it, compliments came pouring in. And then almost overnight, I feel sick with regret about it. I find it awkward using such a long name when my son is a 1 syllable name. I don’t like hearing people say it, I cringe a bit when I say it. And I can’t shake the overwhelming feeling we’ve done the wrong thing for our child - giving an unusual, fiddly name rather than a common, short snappy name.

Has anyone felt this level of regret and then gone on to love DC name? Did anyone start with the name feeling wrong but now wouldn’t have it any other way? It’s consuming me…

Would be so interested to hear how you’re feeling now OP? I’ve had such an ordeal. Changed son’s name at 4 month. Still not 100%. So badly need these positive stories. urgh.

fourelementary · 11/03/2025 23:31

I had regrets for around 3/4 months and only really called DS2 “baba” or “the baby” as I didn’t like saying his name.
He’s now 10 and says he’d have hated the name I loved and prefers his own name… and suits it too.

FWIW I don’t really like Leo as it’s just a bit plain and no variation…or nickname (plus the Leo I know is a stroppy wee twat). Raphael is far better and can be shortened to Raph, Rapha etc and is cool!!!

Umbrellah · 11/03/2025 23:26

Marmiteontoastgirlie · 10/03/2025 09:20

I’ve had a few people ask this and we have chosen the most bog standard name! I just said we saw it in a baby name book. I think it’s just making conversation incase it’s a family name or something?

Show quote history

I couldn’t agree more with this! I think it’s just people making small talk/polite conversation.

changedusernameforthis1 · 10/03/2025 09:54

Not exactly, but still found a way around it.
DD was given a name we thought was lovely at the time. However some people said it was a "mean girl" name and one particular person said she'd be called a slapper or worse once she was older.
We started to really dislike it when she was about 6 months old, so we played around with it and made a nickname from it.
It's cute, pretty and most of all - she loves it herself (she's now 6). She wants to change it on legal documents but we're waiting for her to be older to make that decision, but for now everyone knows her as her nickname and it's what she's called by school and her GP.

mismomary · 10/03/2025 09:27

I honestly think you made the right choice. Gorgeous names.

Marmiteontoastgirlie · 10/03/2025 09:20

Belen82 · 10/03/2025 09:08

Thank you so much again everyone for your support, very reassuring to hear positive views on the name! Trying to embrace it though I must say, I’ve had several ‘what made you chose that?’ ‘What was the inspiration for that choice?’ Which I did not get once with my first son …

I personally have heard unusual names, and names that I (quietly) am not a fan of, but have never asked anyone this question, not sure how to interpret this? Anyone with DC with unusual (or common) name get this? Or does anyone ask this question to people and can shed light? !

I’ve had a few people ask this and we have chosen the most bog standard name! I just said we saw it in a baby name book. I think it’s just making conversation incase it’s a family name or something?

Original poster
Belen82 · 10/03/2025 09:08

Thank you so much again everyone for your support, very reassuring to hear positive views on the name! Trying to embrace it though I must say, I’ve had several ‘what made you chose that?’ ‘What was the inspiration for that choice?’ Which I did not get once with my first son …

I personally have heard unusual names, and names that I (quietly) am not a fan of, but have never asked anyone this question, not sure how to interpret this? Anyone with DC with unusual (or common) name get this? Or does anyone ask this question to people and can shed light? !

OP posts:
LadysMantle · 25/02/2025 12:43

Belen82 · 24/02/2025 09:38

Thanks ladies, for the encouragement and support.

I am just so concerned / anxious about him being bullied for his name because it’s unusual, or ninja turtle references, or for the angel association. Hence often wishing I’d gone for a plain Jane , ‘safer’ name. It’s keeping me up at night.

Does Raphael strike you as a name that could potentially be picked on?

Kindly, OP, the best thing you can do for your baby is to give him a mother who’s not operating at this level of anxiety about a trifle.

I know boys called Ferdinand, Valentine, Buzz, Phineas, Percy, and Florence (yes, Florence for a boy used to be traditional where I’m from, though most of them are now in late middle age or older). My own DS has an unusual name. Raphael is in no way ‘out there’.

BertSymptom · 25/02/2025 12:18

Belen82 · 24/02/2025 09:38

Thanks ladies, for the encouragement and support.

I am just so concerned / anxious about him being bullied for his name because it’s unusual, or ninja turtle references, or for the angel association. Hence often wishing I’d gone for a plain Jane , ‘safer’ name. It’s keeping me up at night.

Does Raphael strike you as a name that could potentially be picked on?

OP my 18 month old has a name that was supposed to be her middle name. It was given middle name slot because it’s long and frilly and unusual and everything I wouldn’t have wanted for a first name but the plainer, more mainstream first name we chose didn’t suit her as much and she just looked like she could pull it off even at a few days old.

I won’t say her name as there aren’t many about but there are some similarities with Raphael (which is beautiful by the way) and I remind myself regularly that her name is a real name, it’s literally ancient with a fair amount of history and meaning to it, it’s easy-ish to spell and most people can pronounce it first try. They’re all huge ticks to me! You list the religious and cultural references as negatives but I like to think it’s a positive that a name has some history and familiarity and it’s genuinely really cool that people have been called Raphael since biblical times. It would be worse if you’d made one up or nobody had heard of it.

Like you are now, I also get so many compliments on her name even from the most unlikely sources, my MIL window cleaner for example, in fact it’s very rare someone asks her name and doesn’t compliment it. So I know it’s beautiful. I just sometimes wonder if she’d prefer a practical name over a beautiful one when she’s older.

I really resonate with wishing we’d gone for a more plain Jane name but, and I know it’s early days, she doesn’t strike me as a plain Jane and it’s absolutely her name now. So the way I feel shouldn’t even really matter.

Sorry for the long garbled post but I guess my point is that I understand your concerns and they may never go entirely as it sounds like you’ve gone outside your naming comfort zone with Raphael but there are huge amounts of positives you can focus on! And I really don’t think he’s going to get bullied. Just start trying to feel confident in your choice.

Maxorias · 24/02/2025 11:37

Hey OP,

I have a Max and I like Raphaël. It was on my list (Raphaël for a boy, Raphaëlle for a girl). My partner vetoed the girl version but I do still like it !

I wouldn't worry about the ninja turtles. This is a very old reference and even if the franchise goes on spawning further movies, it won't have the impact of a new trend. Plus the kids would probably think it super cool, if anything. I sometimes regret not naming my ds Marcus, as his name is so incredibly common around here (we moved when he was 3 months old). I think he'd have LOVED to have a paw patrol name.

And for what it's worth I much prefer Raphaël to Leo.

Is there any other name you like better than Raphaël that you can both agree on ? You could revisit it with your DH, just to rest easy that you can't find a better name. But I think Raphaël is a fine name.

Busted2006 · 24/02/2025 10:53

Belen82 · 24/02/2025 09:38

Thanks ladies, for the encouragement and support.

I am just so concerned / anxious about him being bullied for his name because it’s unusual, or ninja turtle references, or for the angel association. Hence often wishing I’d gone for a plain Jane , ‘safer’ name. It’s keeping me up at night.

Does Raphael strike you as a name that could potentially be picked on?

It’s keeping you up at night… change it!!!!

LadysMantle · 24/02/2025 10:03

Belen82 · 24/02/2025 09:38

Thanks ladies, for the encouragement and support.

I am just so concerned / anxious about him being bullied for his name because it’s unusual, or ninja turtle references, or for the angel association. Hence often wishing I’d gone for a plain Jane , ‘safer’ name. It’s keeping me up at night.

Does Raphael strike you as a name that could potentially be picked on?

Kids don’t have a concept of ‘unusual names’, in my experience.

Lavalamping · 24/02/2025 09:46

I LOVE Raphael. I have slight name regret not using it, although I love my son’s name too. I don’t think it is the sort of name that would be bullied at all, and it’s not that unusual now days. I don’t think kids really pick on each other for names anyway. It has cool nicknames too Raf/ Rafa. Please stop worrying you’ve given him a great name!

PreggersWithBaby2 · 24/02/2025 09:43

Belen82 · 24/02/2025 09:38

Thanks ladies, for the encouragement and support.

I am just so concerned / anxious about him being bullied for his name because it’s unusual, or ninja turtle references, or for the angel association. Hence often wishing I’d gone for a plain Jane , ‘safer’ name. It’s keeping me up at night.

Does Raphael strike you as a name that could potentially be picked on?

Every name is "unusual" to a child because at some stage they are going to meet their first Tom, Joseph and James.

Original poster
Belen82 · 24/02/2025 09:38

Thanks ladies, for the encouragement and support.

I am just so concerned / anxious about him being bullied for his name because it’s unusual, or ninja turtle references, or for the angel association. Hence often wishing I’d gone for a plain Jane , ‘safer’ name. It’s keeping me up at night.

Does Raphael strike you as a name that could potentially be picked on?

OP posts:
Makemydaypunk · 20/02/2025 19:03

I bet your son will be delighted that he has such a lovely and unique name and won’t be just another Leo amongst all his classmates. If you change it now to Leo I can imagine him growing up wishing his parents had used his middle name instead, speaking from experience here, my name is ‘common’ so to be differentiated from all the other girls of the same name I always was referred to with a descriptor before my name, Big Louise! Even though I’m not big just tall. Stick with Raphael he will be eternally grateful!

Raffinboots · 20/02/2025 18:45

Raphael is a brilliant name and Raph a great short name. I really like the female version too which is used in France. I know two really cool adult Raphs! Of course I’m not biased in any way 😁

As an aside my mother went with a short version of a name for me on the grounds she didn’t know whether I would be intelligent enough to spell anything else (she was a teacher) I hated the name, would have loved the longer version. In the end I changed my name completely. In the end whatever you choose they will decide whether they like it or not x

Busted2006 · 19/02/2025 12:08

OP, regardless of what anyone else says it is yours and you DH decision.

I love both names, but… is it keeping you up at night?

Speak to your DH, share how you feel and if he is happy to change it to Leo if you think you’d prefer it. Your baby is still young, it’s not a big deal to make the switch at this age if your DH agrees, definitely not worth your MH or the stress this is causing you.

Original poster
Belen82 · 14/02/2025 12:52

@wrappedupwarm sent you a PM :)

OP posts:
wrappedupwarm · 14/02/2025 12:14

I have a Raphael. I know exactly what you mean about cringing saying it when he was a baby. I did used to feel a bit awkward. Although I absolutely love the name and have always had lots of compliments.
My Raphael is 10 and also goes by Raph/Raphy/Raffa. I love the shortened versions too.

I never regretted the name but did used to think when introducing him as a baby, is it totally ridiculous! Or are people going to think it’s ridiculous. Think that’s partly hormones though.
I did worry about it going with my other DC names too. I think it goes great with Max.