Everyone naming baby the same as ours!

I agree OP, it's odd! My sister had this situation, she called her ds Joseph, then the following year her Sil called her baby Joseph! They lived close to each other as well.

The thing about picking a common name is that they're popular with lots of people. So it's likely people will use it regardless.

I think if someone has always liked a name, they should go with it. Regardless of other family and friend choices. It’s up to them. It isn’t about anyone else, that’s just their choice.

”Not close” doesn’t mean “doesn’t care about,” though. It just means “isn’t likely to be confusing on a regular basis.”

Second cousins once removed (what the boys are to each other) are distant enough relatives that it doesn’t seem weird to me, certainly.

Three of our extended family are called Joe - all in the same generation, same side of the family. People don’t really mix them up.

It's very hard to keep your children's name obscure no matter how unique it is. Both myself and my brother picked fairly uncommon names and the same thing happened to both of us.. a celebrity picked the name for their children and it shot up in popularity! It is annoying when it's your own family using the name though.

It depends how often family see each other. My cousins might say we were close, but the reality is that we've met up around twice in the last 5 years. I wouldn't feel bad using a name they'd already used for their DV for my own if I loved the name. On the rare occasions we happened to meet up, I'd just tell my Thomas that he was being renamed Humphrey for the visit. I've always loved Humphrey but DH wouldn't let me use it for our DC 😂.

No, it doesn't matter how popular a name is. There are enough names out there to give each family member their OWN name!

One common name is fair enough, but if it isn’t a family name then same middle name as well is weird.

Original Thomas
Copy 1
Copy 2

That should do the trick.

It does seem rather strange and unimaginative. The only explanation I can think of is that they’d always had their heart set on that name, and decided to use it for that reason, despite there being others in the family with the same name.

If it’s a fairly common name then it is going to happen. If it’s something like Hubert Xavier and they copy that would be odd!!

It is quite odd for them to give the same name within the generation. My brother, my uncle and my grandad all had the same name. It was only when I was older that it seemed a bit weird (my brother having the same name as our dad’s brother) but at least they weren't the same age group.

I do get the 'you don't own a name', and I would say the same on many threads, but I do think it strange if this is obviously a family you see often.

Saying 'cousin' tends to mean people think of their relationship with their cousins. It wouldn't have mattered with me and my cousins as they live in different parts of the country and we only see them about once a year. It would be very odd with my (adult) dc and their cousins as they have grown up more like siblings and all live locally, and see each other regularly, and, as they get a bit older are likely to go to the same Scout Groups or Football Teams.

So, my cousin relationship (like yours OP) - no problem.
Your dh's cousin relationship (like your dh's) - then yes, it is odd. They could have used a different name.

I think if you pick a common name then you can't really complain if cousins use the same name. I wouldn't mind my cousins using the same name as my children at all. In the grand scheme of things, there's worse things to worry about!

It’s just what happens when a name takes up upswing in popularity

My mum was very miffed when it happened with mine..

I know many boys and men named Thomas. My sons both had 2 each in their primary years and lord knows how many at secondary. For this reason, I’d avoid the name, but if a friend or family member used it, I’d not even consider it.

By strangers, maybe. But a family member? Come on, that’s just weird.

I think calling a child the same first name as your siblings child is a bit off (fine to both use the same middle name eg if is a name that is emotionally important to both of you for the same reason). Couldn't get too upset about cousin's childrens names.

Refer to him as 'Original Thomas' at family gatherings, it will both identify which Thomas you mean and slightly annoy the other parents every time, so win-win.

I find it hard to really get worked up about it, but then my DH comes from a culture where they only have about 24 male first names (one of them is Thomas as it happens) and the family manages, mostly by using nicknames. Even we have done it, we adopted so didn't choose our DC's names but DS happened to already have the same name as DH's DB.

I can see why it would annoy you op but it seems as if you are sensible enough not to mention it. If it's any consolation our DC has a name that only 6 others were registered with that year, when they went to school one of the other 6 was in their class

🤣🤣🤣 those names are now common and Thomas is un common🤣🤣🤣

How times change

My DH's brother & wife named their son the same as mine but opposite way round so if mine was Thomas Jack theirs was Jack Thomas. At the last moment they dropped the Thomas and picked a different name.

They cousins two years apart and the only grandsons. I thought it very insensitive and if I'd have had any idea they wanted to use "Jack" I would have chosen differently.

Now my DS finds it a bit strange that his middle name isn't his own but rather his cousins name.

We're a small family and I was really pissed off but what can you do.

Boarding schools (where children were traditionally referred to by surname) have dealt with kids having the same name without any difficulty for centuries.

It goes by birth order:
Thomas Major
Thomas Minor
Thomas Minimus

Very straightforward.

Sounds like you've been unlucky. If you'd picked a relatively common name like River, Arlo, Otis or Jaxon, it might have been unsurprising to have a few amongst your acquaintances, but with an uncommon name like Thomas you'd think that you would have been safe.