Everyone naming baby the same as ours!

That's more outrageous imo

This. If it’s a lovely classic, timeless, popular name in the style of Thomas then I suppose they might have both been set on it for a long time. Or has it been used recently a lot in the media? That often causes an upsurge in a names popularity too.

Either that or they were just thinking “well, they are only second cousins” which in most families sharing names with wouldn’t be a big deal. But it sounds like your DH’s family is unusual and the 2nd cousins are going to see each other a lot - it’s going to have to be “Thomas, Tom and Tommy” at gatherings, so bagsie your choice now! Or I suppose at least your son might be the one called “Big Thomas” - I’ve always felt a bit sorry for the ones still known as “Little Name” once they get older🤣!

But they cluster. They are linked to specific demographics so you might get a lot of Thomases and Jacks in one area and Arlos and Djangos in another.

If you look at the birth stats, a name sitting at around number 50 in popularity would be shared by about 1 in 200 people of the same sex. You’d be unlucky to have a significant number of clashes at school etc.

As has already been pointed out - different people have different relationships with their cousins.

I have a set of cousins on one side we are relatively close to, but only saw them (when we were growing up) 2 or 3 times a year. Our cousins on the other side, I've met about 10 time, tops (and we are now all retired).
My sister lives close to me, and my dc and her dc went to the same Nursery and Primary school, same Scout Group, same sports training, and saw each other growing up probably about 3 or 4 times A WEEK when they were growing up. As adults they are all really close and see each other regularly.

Because you don't have a relationship with your cousins, doesn't mean that no-one does.

It’s just a really generic name. People who choose that kind of name are choosing it precisely because it’s so common, so I presume they’re just not thinking in terms of originality?

It’s like those posts getting cross about their friend or SIL ‘copying’ then, and then they list the things they’ve supposedly copied and it’s stuff like calling their child George, or painting their walls Dulux Timeless.

Totally agree with you! It is strange!

When DH and I were making a list of potential baby names we originally had a list of around 10 girls names that we liked.

Then we immediately removed two as they were names that had already been used by a cousin..

It used to be really common as children were given family names e.g. paternal grandfather for firstborn son. If it's not a family name then a bit odd. Is it a name with different short forms e.g Tom, Tommy and TJ? Or use a patronym or matronym e.g. Pete's Tom.

That's your opinion.

When we got married we agreed that I would name the girls and my husband would name the boys - three girls and 19 years later he got to use his chosen name. We wouldn't have changed it at that point whatever any other boy born in the family was called.

This. I have had my girls name picked out since I was 10 years old. If someone I knew named their child that name, I would still call my child it. That’s the bottom line.

This is something that feels really big when the children are babies and will fade in importance as they age. Everyone will probably adopt a variation of the name or you’ll have Big Tom, little Tom etc. I promise you it will end up probably bonding the boys, not push them further apart.

Pretty much every male in our extended family for three generations is Richard or Robert. No one seems to get worked up over it.

Various nicknames Rob, Bob, Rick, Dick etc; there's no confusion. A couple go by last names eg Laff/Lafferty, Mac etc.

It's not a big deal.

I have three sets of cousins called Chris and Joe. People are unimaginative, and popular names are popular for a reason.

We’ve had our sons name chosen for years before he was brought into this world, we always said if we had a boy he would be our X.

Surely you would be flexible enough to change it and find another name if circumstances change? Say a notorious person has the same name? Or a close family member is already named this name?

There are SO many names to choose from...!

There are eleven cousins and 22 first cousins in my now ex h family and not one first name has been repeated. One child has been given the name of a recently deceased family member and another has it as a middle name. It's easily done to not repeat/copy. Take it as a compliment or they can't think for themselves.

Three times in one generation of the family…when it’s not even a family name? No, I don’t think many people would expect that.

It's how it happens. Basically we pick up on names that we like and we don't realise that a lot of people in our generation have done as well. It's like the name Arlo which I had never heard before and then suddenly every other baby boy announcement was an Arlo! (I don't have an Arlo).

And yes one of our children has a family name as a middle name and other cousins in the same generation have that middle name.

I think it’s weird. Especially first and last name. I wouldn’t want my child to be ‘young Jack’ or ‘little Jack’ so would have picked a different name for that reason.

Your child and cousins child probably won't even know their related in the future so I wouldn't be concerned. Genuinely have no idea how many or who my Dad's cousins children are. Met my Mum's cousins children once in my life at my Grandparents funeral 30 years ago.

If it's a popular, traditional name like Thomas and Jack then I'm assuming they used it because it's so popular, they didn't think it would bother you.

The cousin that also used the same middle name, is it a family name? If not it's also possible that they just forgot yours has that middle name too.

This. The likely story is that because it’s a common name all 3 mums/dads have chosen it, it’s probably in the top 20-50 baby names.

Hard disagree on this. We’ve had our sons name chosen for years before he was brought into this world, we always said if we had a boy he would be our X.

If someone else, a cousin in the family decided to name their child that - it would obviously make me think oh no they’ve picked our favourite boy name but it wouldn’t stop me naming my son that name.

I think the only time I would genuinely consider changing is if my sister or sister in law named their child the name we liked.

It's a bit weird within a family.

My sons name is sort of unusual, at his 8 week check up, waiting in the Dr's reception area, the nurse came out and said his first and middle name and me and another mum stood up! Same name! Same age.

Didn't end up in same school though.