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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Everyone naming baby the same as ours!

91 replies

Bubble92 · 08/02/2025 14:58

So we recently had a baby boy. We thought long and hard about his name and eventually chose one which is fairly common but there were no others of that name in either of our families across several generations. Let's pretend it was Thomas Jack.
A year later my husband's cousin had a baby and called him Thomas. Now, my husband's extended family is quite close and although they live quite far away we see them quite a bit. I was privately miffed but I'm a reasonable person (i hope!) and obviously don't own the name and it is fairly common so I didn't say anything.
Fast forward to now..another cousin has had a baby boy and called him Thomas Jack. First and middle names the same as our son. Like what? There are other boys names out there! I know it's a great name 😂 but seriously. I'm not going to say anything because I know they are entitled to choose any name, but I do think it's weird.
Now there will be three Thomas's similar ages at family get togethers. I do feel a bit upset about it tbh. Would you be upset?

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JillyGiraffe · 11/06/2025 08:15

I’d feel the same as you - especially the one choosing the same first and middle names! I guess it’s done now and you can’t say anything without rocking the apple cart…

bridgetreilly · 11/06/2025 03:50

The children are second and third cousins. I really couldn’t bring myself to care about this for as much as half a second.

Daffodilsarefading · 09/06/2025 20:14

I think it’s a bit weird too. I also disagree about common names. Nowadays there are lots of Jacksons- and the many different spellings, Hunters, Arlos etc.

Joystir59 · 12/02/2025 08:30

Bubble92 · 08/02/2025 15:31

I'm thinking I should just look on it as a compliment. We are trend setters!

Yes! Nothing you can do about it so embrace it.

wingsspan · 12/02/2025 08:28

I think it's a bit strange tbh. We have discounted all names that are in our immediate family - including cousins we don't even see very often.

ThisQuickPlumFinch · 10/02/2025 19:15

BertieBotts · 10/02/2025 00:58

I would guess they mean a surname-turned-first name like Carter, Jackson, Huxley, Harper etc. That style of first name is more common in America than Britain so some people think of them as American names.

Yep that is the one, love all the names you wrote down. They are right up my street.

user1492757084 · 10/02/2025 05:14

I think I'd have to express happiness when you meet the new cousins and thank their parents for naming their boy after your son,Thomas. Call big Thomas over to meet them!
Is their a common ancestor who was called the chosen name?

ChonkyRabbit · 10/02/2025 01:47

I don't think somebody should avoid a name they love because a cousin used it. Especially if it's a common name.

Mytholmroyd · 10/02/2025 01:40

Okay, thanks @BertieBotts that makes more sense - an English surname used as an American first name then.

BertieBotts · 10/02/2025 00:58

I would guess they mean a surname-turned-first name like Carter, Jackson, Huxley, Harper etc. That style of first name is more common in America than Britain so some people think of them as American names.

Mytholmroyd · 09/02/2025 15:09

ThisQuickPlumFinch · 09/02/2025 14:45

Don't pick a common name then? We picked American surnames for our 3 children, go bold or be like me at school where there were 5 of us in class called Claire.

What's an 'American' surname?

ThisQuickPlumFinch · 09/02/2025 14:45

Don't pick a common name then? We picked American surnames for our 3 children, go bold or be like me at school where there were 5 of us in class called Claire.

Moveoverdarlin · 09/02/2025 14:43

Yeah it’s weird. Does the other Thomas Jack have the same surname? If so, that’s even more strange.

chattyness · 09/02/2025 14:39

My DH's brother called his son the same name , there's quite an age gap between them but FFS , they lived in the same area at the time and saw each other often & when my DH asked him why he chose the same name as his son, he was like "really, I forgot about that" 🙄

Ddakji · 09/02/2025 14:36

Bubble92 · 08/02/2025 14:58

So we recently had a baby boy. We thought long and hard about his name and eventually chose one which is fairly common but there were no others of that name in either of our families across several generations. Let's pretend it was Thomas Jack.
A year later my husband's cousin had a baby and called him Thomas. Now, my husband's extended family is quite close and although they live quite far away we see them quite a bit. I was privately miffed but I'm a reasonable person (i hope!) and obviously don't own the name and it is fairly common so I didn't say anything.
Fast forward to now..another cousin has had a baby boy and called him Thomas Jack. First and middle names the same as our son. Like what? There are other boys names out there! I know it's a great name 😂 but seriously. I'm not going to say anything because I know they are entitled to choose any name, but I do think it's weird.
Now there will be three Thomas's similar ages at family get togethers. I do feel a bit upset about it tbh. Would you be upset?

It’s a bit odd but I suppose it depends how close you are with cousins.

They might like being the TJ club as they’re quite close in age!

Spidey66 · 09/02/2025 14:33

Wouldn't bother me. The names are common and the kids are second cousins.

WellsAndThistles · 09/02/2025 12:28

CarpetKnees · 08/02/2025 22:52

As has already been pointed out - different people have different relationships with their cousins.

I have a set of cousins on one side we are relatively close to, but only saw them (when we were growing up) 2 or 3 times a year. Our cousins on the other side, I've met about 10 time, tops (and we are now all retired).
My sister lives close to me, and my dc and her dc went to the same Nursery and Primary school, same Scout Group, same sports training, and saw each other growing up probably about 3 or 4 times A WEEK when they were growing up. As adults they are all really close and see each other regularly.

Because you don't have a relationship with your cousins, doesn't mean that no-one does.

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This isn't about cousins though, it's the decendents of cousins where the common ancestor is a Great Grand Parent.

DistantConstellation · 09/02/2025 08:41

CrispieCake · 08/02/2025 16:11

Sounds like you've been unlucky. If you'd picked a relatively common name like River, Arlo, Otis or Jaxon, it might have been unsurprising to have a few amongst your acquaintances, but with an uncommon name like Thomas you'd think that you would have been safe.

I can't tell if you're joking, but I genuinely know more primary-aged kids called Arlo than Thomas...

Original poster
Bubble92 · 09/02/2025 08:27

It's interesting hearing everyone's take on this.

I'm not going to say anything to them about it. I value a peaceful family more than a name, but I'm just privately a bit gutted! But also I do understand I don't own a name and it could have been a long standing favourite with them.

I like the idea of referring to my son as the original 'Thomas'.

And the first cousins who used it also have a daughter who's name we really love but didnt use when we had a daughter because of them...so if we have another daughter I feel it's fair game. If you can't beat them, join them. 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Bubble92 · 09/02/2025 08:23

CarpetKnees · 08/02/2025 22:52

As has already been pointed out - different people have different relationships with their cousins.

I have a set of cousins on one side we are relatively close to, but only saw them (when we were growing up) 2 or 3 times a year. Our cousins on the other side, I've met about 10 time, tops (and we are now all retired).
My sister lives close to me, and my dc and her dc went to the same Nursery and Primary school, same Scout Group, same sports training, and saw each other growing up probably about 3 or 4 times A WEEK when they were growing up. As adults they are all really close and see each other regularly.

Because you don't have a relationship with your cousins, doesn't mean that no-one does.

Show quote history

I think it definitely makes a difference how close you are to your cousins. We are pretty close to them on my husbands side. It wouldn't bother me if one of my cousins used a name because i never see them!

The cousin who has used the whole name my husband actually lived with for a time when they were growing up! And I used to be really good friends with his now wife.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bubble92 · 09/02/2025 08:12

SecondMrsTanqueray · 08/02/2025 16:57

I know many boys and men named Thomas. My sons both had 2 each in their primary years and lord knows how many at secondary. For this reason, I’d avoid the name, but if a friend or family member used it, I’d not even consider it.

The name isn't Thomas, just to clarify. I just used that in case any cousins use mumsnet!

OP posts:
bluebunnys · 09/02/2025 06:59

It’s just a really generic name. People who choose that kind of name are choosing it precisely because it’s so common

And forgetting the main purpose of a name, namely to identify?

jellyfishperiwinkle · 09/02/2025 06:46

We've got several names replicated in the same small family. I even named DD1 partly with my aunt in mind, and my cousin's son is named for a mutual grandfather. I don't think it's an issue and it is a tradition to pass names on.

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 09/02/2025 06:38

Don’t worry too much. I remember how it feels though. My friend named her son after my dog! Or that’s how it felt at the time.

LovelySunnyDayToday · 09/02/2025 06:38

One of my cousins' kids has my Dad's name for his middle name. My son does too. I think it's nice.

First names need to be different though.